Joy Hurt, Author at Grieving Gardener

July 26, 2024February 4, 2026

Choose Today to Begin!

Celebrated each year on July 26, National All or Nothing Day allows people to throw caution to the wind and go for broke. Everyone holds unfulfilled dreams, unmade decisions, or uncompleted plans. On this day, people break free of everything holding them back and Go For Broke!!!

In 2020, I’d never blogged a day in my life. With so much to share, I decided I was ready to publish my thoughts. On one autumn afternoon, I created Grieving Gardener, posting my first blog on September 24. Since then, I’ve never looked back.

Is there room for improvement? Of course. Is every word spelled correctly, or every bit of grammar correct? Nope. But, this much is true. I’ve found the words I’d lost for so long. As each month passes, my writing has improved. I’ll continue to write for the rest of my life. It all started with that first blog so long ago.

Everyone has at least one obstacle they’d like to conquer or overcome. It may be that fear or hesitancy is holding you back. So make today YOUR September 24. Make a plan, take a first step and move towards it.

Whether you make a public announcement, apply for the job you’ve been eying, or mend a fence, sometimes we need to take a different path. While other days on the calendar don’t urge us to make a decision or change, this one does.

So…..

1.Define your goal.

2. Write down the first three steps to move toward that goal.

3. Enlist help from a friend or family member to encourage you. You can even choose a challenge you can do together.

4. Get out there and tackle it!

Some of the biggest changes in our lives start with small steps. Often they are gut-wrenching decisions because we rarely know whether the outcome will be successful. But how will we ever grow if we don’t keeping reaching for those dreams?

Whatever you do today, make a decision. Make a plan. Inform others of your goal. Most importantly, Go For Your Dreams!!!

Have a wonderful weekend. I’ll be back Monday.

July 25, 2024February 4, 2026

Green Grows the Desert

This week, we’ve been enjoying the best evening thunder and lightning storms since I moved here in 2020. With conditions just right, we’ve had nightly flash flood warnings, along with maps of lightning strikes within miles of Winterpast. The storms should continue through the weekend, with rain pouring out of the sky every evening between 4 and 6 PM.

After long summer days of 100+ degree temperatures, the clouds roll in and the wind begins to howl. A little while later, the water comes down in sheets. Such a beautiful ending to hot summer days, although Oliver and Wookie remain a bit confused. Until now, water usually comes out of the hose or sprinkler system. They’re not so sure about this new arrangement.

With only a few days of evening rain, the desert has again come alive. The sage brush is greening as it sits in puddles of fresh water. Plants that seemed dead on Monday are growing green today. Such an amazing place in which we live.

Flash floods in the desert are a very real threat. When the water comes down so quickly, it has no where to go. Following the terrain of the land, it flows downward towards the big canal running through our town. It matters not if roadways happen to be in the way. It just flows on.

If you live in a desert environment, you probably already know that driving through such an event is not a smart thing to do. A car can begin hydroplaning, causing the driver to lose control.

Hydroplaning can occur when there is very little water on the road. It happens when your tires lose the grip on the roadway, and instead travel on a film of water reducing the ability to steer and brake. Your speed, tire tread, and vehicle weight can contribute to the danger. Never choose to drive through flowing flood waters. Turn around, don’t drown.

While the evening rains continue, the mustangs are coming down from the hills. On our travels during the last two days, we have seen hundreds of horses of all ages. Many foals have been born this spring, hanging out with their bands. Today, we saw our first two mustangs munching on the neighbors lawn.

Normally, the mustangs live high in the surrounding hills. In the spring, they have plenty to eat and drink. As the summer goes on, by August, the food and water are gone and they come begging down to the low lands. It’s then we start to see conflicts between the horses and people.

These horses, although smaller than domestic horses, still weigh approximately 1500 lbs. Hitting something of this size is fatal for motorcycle riders. It can definitely hospitalize or kill the driver or a car or truck, as well. Dark horses on a dark night are nearly impossible to see when driving 65 mph along the worlds loneliest highway, a problem for which there is no easy answer. Horses and motorists don’t mix.

Remember to slow down on wet roads. Avoid using cruise control. Try to go around puddles or standing water. Don’t tailgate, but give yourself plenty of time to stop.

You may have heard of the quick, easy way to check tread depth — just take a penny and place it in one of the tire’s grooves with Abe Lincoln’s head facing the base of the groove. If the tread doesn’t cover any part of Lincoln’s head, the tire is at or below 2/32nd of an inch and should be replaced. Please don’t drive on bald tires.

Most of all, at this time of year, listen for weather updates. If at all possible, choose to stay home. Summer thunderstorms are unpredictable and can be deadly. Yesterday, less than two miles from Winterpast, one person went to heaven, while three others took the earthly route to the hospital. Be careful before, during, and after summer rains.

Whatever you do today, enjoy these summer days. There are just 58 days until the first day of autumn. Summer is indeed a lovely time of year!! Take time to make the best of it!!

More tomorrow.

July 24, 2024February 4, 2026

Organizing Life

Life can get messy sometimes. There are minor things like October weddings and March cruises far more fascinating than sitting at a desk shredding and filing. As time goes on, the paperwork just stacks up. Two weeks ago, I decided to take the bull by the horns and get organized.

I started with the shredder, getting rid of all documents more than seven years old. It’s so freeing to watch financial papers turn into tiny bits of paper snow flakes. The shredder is a wonderful tool that can make fast work of all kinds of unwanted documents. No need to store box after box of paper when they are way past the expiration date of seven years.

Next, I emptied a wonderful file drawer in my desk. Again, emptying out all the unnecessary documents, I had a clean place to put my important documents.

A few weeks before, I had heard about a great product. The NOKBox. NOK stands for Next-of-Kin. This organization system is designed to ask questions about your home, cars, insurance, health, income, and end of life wishes. I decided on NOKBox Lite. Along with this, I needed a filing crate, fifteen hanging files, 67 file folders, paper, and a printer. Once the necessary items were at hand, I was ready to begin.

The “NOKBox” system came with detailed instructions that make failure impossible. Each section has a checklist detailing what you need. It’s up to you to find, print, and file. As simple as that.

As a retired teacher, organization has always been key to a happy life. It’s frustrating to spend hours looking for a certain document, key, or item. Much easier to have them at your fingertips. With great instructions, I began organizing my life. I’m almost done.

With each new question, I cleaned up details of my life. Many of my accounts were under my old name. I can assure you, Joy Hurt left the building many months ago. It was good to make sure HHH would have access to our accounts, should something happen to me.

Over the last nine months, I have called the utility companies on several occasions to change my name. In this day and age, you would think this would be easy. Nope.

“Oh Yes. Please send an original copy of your original identification along with certified copies of your marriage license. Then, we will forward this to our document specialist who will………” Shred the whole mess. I’m sure of that, because over nine months, the name remained unchanged on three accounts after multiple contacts.

With the NOKBox and new-found patience, I do believe my name is changed on everything. One of the most difficult things associated with getting married in 2023.

The NOKBox took a jumble of paperwork and put it all in a space no bigger than a bankers box of current information. As I went through, I realized I might need to rethink my car insurance, as it’s gotten quite high. It made me reexamine my bank accounts, choosing which ones needed to be closed. With every question, I became more organized, which is a great feeling.

A nice thing about retirement is that the retiree (me) finally has time to do these sorts of things. With everything in order, there’s no need to stress about the “What If’s??” of life, because all the information is organized and ready to go.

Whatever you do today, organize a drawer. When you start, plan to get ride of five things in the drawer. Once you start, you may get rid of ten things. Then, keep going. WE all carry so much extra baggage. Get going! It’s time to purge.

More tomorrow.

July 23, 2024February 4, 2026

No Tee Time Thanks to Our Bee Hive

It takes a lot for any man to cancel his tee-time with family and friends. That’s just what happened yesterday, as HHH continues to heal from a dozen bee stings. After a very quiet weekend, he continues to heal but it’s slow going.

Saturday morning, I woke up to a very swollen husband. With a sting above the eyebrow, his eye was swollen shut. His biceps resembled PopEye’s. The sting sites itched like crazy. HHH was poisoned with venom.

Oy. Vey.

I asked multiple times if a trip to ER was necessary. Each time the answer was “NO”. I watched his breathing as he napped throughout the day as the swelling stabilized. He’s been one sick husband.

Throughout this ordeal, the thought of living without bees is not yet a consideration. Rule #1 — Always suit up. This rule was ignored during an invasive procedure. The bees did what they do and HHH paid the price. We may change our minds, but for now, the bees stay.

It must be hard for some to understand. The calming affect the bees have on us on most days is amazing. To watch their little society of 50,000 individuals working together for the good is awe inspiring. Right now, they’re struggling a bit to establish themselves, but they haven’t given up. Last Friday, they defended the hive and HHH was in the way.

With home remedies of Advil for the swelling, and Benadryl and Hydrocortisone Cream for the itching, HHH is healing. Days later, he’s still not back to normal, but improves every day.

While couch bound, HHH and I had time to sit and watch the electric changes in our country. If you blink, you might miss something major. With time to really listen to coverage from BOTH the left and right, I realized this.

Over the past eight years, I’ve forgotten what it means to REALLY listen and consider different points of view. A simple-minded person will jump on any band wagon and cheer for the winning team. With blinders on, it’s easy to plant a flag and die on a hill, even if you haven’t heard a word the leader has said.

Same thing when slinging arrows. It’s a mob mentality when people accept rumors as the truth. We are so much better than that.

It should come at no surprise that I live on the right side of politics. I’ve never owned a Nazi flag or a white robe. I collect guns I don’t intend to shoot very often. I love our beautiful country. I want the best for every CITIZEN. The American Dream brought my ancestors from the grips of truly evil dictators. Many of my ancestors were sent to die in the REAL Siberia. I support the idea of MAGA which means Make America Great Again. Right now, America is struggling. We need great new ideas. We’re in trouble.

Just as the angry bees died before they could realize HHH was one of the good guys, many of us have lost relationships without ever listening to a candidate speak for more than a few soundbites. Not good. Any person is much more than some edited clips. There ARE reporters that can cover stories fairly on BOTH sides of the aisle. Again, we just need to flip the channels and take time to listen to what is being said.

I challenge you to find a candidate you really dislike and listen closely to one speech. Just one. From start to finish. Look for signs of Nazi flags or hate speech in the crowd. Look for the tone and cadence of the speaker. Look and judge for yourself. You may find you’ve been sold a bill of goods. While doing this, please remember that NO ONE deserves to be shot by an assassins’ bullet. No One.

This is the most important political season of our lifetime. When you choose your candidates, make sure to listen to words of your leaders carefully. Watch their actions. Consider both sides. Make your best decision based on facts, not personalities. Our country depends on it.

Whatever you do today, enjoy the great outdoors. If you see bees, watch before you run. Run, don’t swat. And follow Rule #1. Always suit up for the job.

More tomorrow.

July 22, 2024February 4, 2026

Oy. Vey. What A Day!

This picture detects what I’ll look like when I finally get stung. It hasn’t happened yet, but I can’t say the same for poor HHH. Friday morning was one to forget, and quickly.

The Bee Lady and her fiend, Anti-Mite Man, came for a visit to our hives early Friday morning. Bees these days all suffer from an invasive mite that infects the bees and weakens the hive. Every few weeks during the summer, the Anti-Mite Man comes equipped with oxalic acid gas, which kills the Verona mites and any others hanging about.

Now, bees don’t think kindly to people inserting gas into their hive and then covering the opening with the wet towel for five minutes. Whether or not they remembered this man, I can’t say. All I know is that when the hive was opened, the bees became very unhappy. It could have also been caused by the fact that no smoke was used before opening the hive.

At any rate, I was raking a good distance from the hive when an angry bee tried to sting me. Thank goodness my long hair was in the way and I flew into the house, unscathed. But, HHH had been standing near the hive without his bee-keepers suit. Our usually kind, sweet, and docile bees went for him.

As he was swatting and asking them to back off, he accidentally knocked off one $2500 hearing aide into the tall bushes while making it to the back porch. By that time, he had been stung six times, once in the face above his eye.

After coming in to remove the stingers, HHH again tried to go outside and they were on him again, as he suffered through two more stings. At any point, this situation could’ve become deadly. I was glad the epi-pens were on the counter at the ready. Luckily, there was no immediate reaction.

As our friends were leaving, the bees were still on the attack, getting HHH two more times, at which point his very expensive Maui Jim Sunglasses fell to the pavement and shattered. Repair cost — $100.

Now, I have a very dejected husband with one good ear, no sunglasses, AND the possibility of and episode of anaphylactic shock. We both returned to the house wondering how this happened???? Our bees are so docile, they often settle on our hand and look around before they fly off. Well???? Wild animals are unpredictable. Today wasn’t the day to make them angry.

After going out to breakfast, we both decided it was a day to lay low and hope for a better Saturday. Watching TV while enjoying Chinese food, we were thankful things weren’t worse.

Now, having four younger brothers, he did something silly. He texted them with the news. They all found it very humorous, asking if they could view all existing videos. Somedays, there is no respect in this world. Especially from kid brothers!!!!

Whatever you do today, remember bees aren’t always docile. Even the quiet can become combative if you are in the wrong place at the wrong time. Bee keeping is a hobby that can kill. Rule #1. When handling bees, suit up. Thank goodness HHH lives on to tell the tale.

More tomorrow.

July 19, 2024February 4, 2026

The Coolest Early Birds

Even though I haven’t mentioned it in a few days, our desert days remain hot. Not just a little warm, but over the century mark every afternoon. Although I continue to love life here on the high desert plains of Northwestern Nevada, at times I wonder what I was thinking choosing to live in a summer furnace. Sometime before death, HHH and I hope to live somewhere green with constant temperatures of 75 degrees. Not sure when or where that will be, but we can dream.

For now, dealing with the hot weather makes me thankful to be wired as an early bird. Every morning, like clockwork, HHH and I awake before the dogs. By time the coffee finishes brewing, our day has already started with local news.

If you are at all like HHH and I, the news has been fascinating. It seems if you miss an hour, it might take you two more to catch up. Between hype for the Olympics starting next week, and the political news, there is something for everyone. This from a woman that preaches about staying unplugged.

Around 6:30, you’ll find HHH in the back yard doing something. From dead-heading the roses to watering, we are on a mission to finish our chores before it becomes too hot. That’s usually around 11 am.

The afternoons find us working on indoor projects. From fixing a leaky flapper valve on the toilet to organizing our financial affairs, there’s plenty to keep us busy until evening.

Yesterday, while working on Ancestry, (which is eating up more time than I’d like to admit), I found that HHH’s history goes all the way back to days of Lords and Lady’s. My mind is still stuck on the fact that I’m related to someone that was the #1 Bookie on the west coast, living at 2230 Hollyridge Drive (right near the Hollywood) sign in the 1930’s. Looking for more interesting facts, I’ll continue my fascinating journey back to learn more about my past.

Agua Caliente Casino, Resort, and Racetrack

Late afternoons at Winterpast find HHH looking through a large stash of recipes to find just the right meal for dinner. I’m beginning to love “Left-Over’s” nights. HHH is an exceptional cook, along with all his other amazing talents. Some of his best meals are even better the second day.

I doubt I’ll ever be one to burn the candle at both ends. Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise, or so they say. As the summer races by us, I’m trying to squeeze as many hours out of a day as possible.

It’s hard to believe that a year ago, HHH was thinking about proposing. Life has been full of amazing miracles since then. We are so blessed with happiness. Our home is filled with love, as it should be. We both deserve nothing less.

Whatever you do today, think about discovering what goes on outside an hour before sunrise. You might be surprised to find your back yard looks totally different in the early morning hours. There’s always something new to discover!

Have a wonderful weekend. I’ll be back Monday.

It’s going to be a great day!! Stay Calm and Carry On!!!!!

July 18, 2024February 4, 2026

Something Old

There is nothing better than getting sucked into a great book. As any teacher knows, our bookshelves can become crowded after years of collecting great reads. After many years, its necessary for me to empty some shelves. While doing this, I ran across a couple titles that I must read once more in my lifetime. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz is one of those stories.

One of the best things about this book, is that it unfolds in a completely different way than the movie we’ve all seen so many times in our lifetimes. From the opening scene, when Auntie Em runs down the ladder into the storm cellar without Dorothy, new details stand out.

There were enough fantastic details to give the movie makers a place from which to create the magical land of Oz. Every time I see the movie, it’s hard to remember than it was made in 1939. One of the all time greats.

The book explains why each character is seeking help. Of course, the scarecrow needs a brain, the tin-man needs a heart, the lion needs courage, and Dorothy just wants to go home. But the reasons behind their deficits are explained in a little more detail.

That this story was written in 1900 and yet is so readable is a bit surprising.

Lyman Frank Baum wrote about Oz and many other things. A prolific author, in addition to the 14 Oz books, Baum penned 41 other novels (not including four lost, unpublished novels), 83 short stories, over 200 poems, and at least 42 scripts ( according to Wikipedia).

After a lifetime of writing fabulous stories told with descriptive paragraphs creating stunning visual images, Baum suffered a stroke, slipped into a coma. He died the following day at the age of 62. His last words spoken to his wife during a brief period of lucidity: “Now we can cross the Shifting Sands.” In his books, the land of Oz is cut off from the rest of the world by impassable wastelands, including a desert called the Shifting Sands.

Enjoying this story more than a grown woman should, I suspect I’ll need to read the 39 books that came after this amazing story.

Whatever you do today, consider returning to a favorite book you may have placed on a shelf long ago. Books are a magical carpet ride taking the reader on adventures beyond the normal persons imagination. Please excuse me now, as I don’t want Dorothy and the gang to get too far ahead.

More tomorrow.

July 17, 2024February 4, 2026

The Day Big Boy Steamed Through

A few weeks ago, while watching the news, I learned something exciting was to happen in our town. On July 16th, one of the only working Union Pacific Big Boy engines would be steaming through our little town. Without knowing the exact time, I wrote an entry into my daily journal so we wouldn’t forget.

Yesterday, the early morning news reminded us again that the Big Boy was sitting at the biggest little city to the west and would soon roll east.

In our little town, we have a few parks. There’s Out-of-Town Park that is out of town. Then, there is the In-Town-Park, which is in town. Another stretch of empty land used to be the home of the Burning Man Artichoke. A thing of beauty made of flattened bottle caps.

This sculpture was a favorite of mine until the entire thing was removed. They didn’t ask our permission, but removed it quietly in the night, citing safety issues. Okay, there was a ladder to the second story and in today’s world, that could be a deadly feature. At any rate, it’s gone.

That piece of empty land is sandwiched between Main Street and the railroad track, so I’ll name that land Beside-the-Tracks Park. When HHH realized I would pester him until we were standing there waiting for the train to pass, he agreed that we’d go. Being a long time local, he knew exactly the place we’d park.

Well, one thing led to another and with some distractions, suddenly it was 10:03 and I hadn’t checked the Big Boy Locomotive tracker. The train was now speeding towards our town. We hoped we’d have time to make it to the tracks. On an earlier outing, HHH reported two cars next to the track, so neither of us were thinking many people would be there.

At this point, we had another 20 minutes to wait. We weren’t paying attention to the parking lot behind us as it quickly filled up. Hundreds of locals were all waiting to wave as the Union Pacific Big Boy Locomotive steamed by on its way to the next stop.

This engine is the biggest steam engine IN THE WORLD and it rolled right through the center of town. Right past senior citizens and babies alike. A historical day that saw all of us sweating through the desert heat to witness.

We could hear it before we could see it. And then, it was rolling through.

Just like that, the excitement was over. Please note the size of the engine compared to the small SUV to the side!!!!! It was truly worth the wait to see this coal driven engine steaming along our track. Something I’ll never forget.

The train is returning home to Cheyenne, Wyoming after its Westward Bound Tour.

Whatever you do today, watch the news. Perhaps there is something wonderful steaming through your town. Somethings only happen once in a lifetime. HHH and I are so lucky we experienced this!

More tomorrow.

July 16, 2024February 4, 2026

Don’t Mess With the Widow

There are some days life requires you to put on your big-girl pants and stand up for yourself. Sometimes, there isn’t another person that can take the wheel. That someday came last Friday. But, I’ll start from the beginning.

After months and months of dealing with a professional, my relationship with this person finally ended last week. Last fall, I needed a service and this person came highly recommended. The service needed was easily provided by this professional and we agreed on a price, although the final bill ended up being higher.

With details carefully discussed, I trusted this person would be true to his word. I wasn’t requesting brain surgery or anything quite so serious. Just a service that he’d provide for an agreed price. With a hand shake we were off.

After 9 months and four visits to retrieve, repair, retrieve, repair, and retrieve the project, it was finally corrected and finished. A professional project shouldn’t have taken this long. It wasn’t an oil painting or a lengthy novel. Two months later, when I needed the item, I realized, ANOTHER glaring error.

To get the project corrected and finished, I called upon inner strength, courage, intelligence, patience, and organizational skills. I had to negotiate for corrected results in a professional way. I researched government agencies that would help me if I didn’t find cooperation. Then, I went to work.

Snail-mail letters are highly effective when dealing with problems in life. If you have a keyboard and printer, take the time to write down facts about your problem in an organized way, avoiding feelings. One thing to remember about effective negotiations is that things go well when you leave out emotions like anger. Just the facts, Ma’am.

I was careful to remind the gentleman that taking advantage of a widow (which I most certainly was at the time) is a terrible thing to do. No one should EVER take advantage of a widow and expect to get away with it. The bible talks about that.

After receiving the letter, the professional corrected the project for the last time. After examining his work very carefully, I agreed to accept the finished project. It was then I quietly asked about the refund that I certainly deserved after nine months of nonsense.

I was offered a dinner and a show.

As a woman, always remember to consider all options before speaking. Know your bottom line. I did consider this offer for about 15 seconds before I replied, “That’s not going to work for me.”

In the next breath he offered me a complete refund that was gratefully and graciously accepted. With a hand shake, our story came to a close.

As a senior citizen, (perhaps widowed), remember that you have a voice. It’s not okay for younger, more professional or educated people to take advantage. Your time, energy, and frustration are all worth something. Right is right. No one will advocate for you better than YOU, but it’s up to you to speak your mind.

The professional and I shook hands on the deal and all’s well that ends well. My refund came in the mail yesterday, paid in full. Thank goodness there are still people that are honorable when things go wrong. No hard feelings. Sometimes you’re the windshield, sometimes your the bug. I wasn’t going to be the bug this time. Don’t ever accept victim status. Not healthy.

Whatever you do today, take care of loose ends. If you are in the middle of righting a wrong, take a deep breath and continue. The truth will prevail. Patience as you carry on.

More tomorrow.

July 15, 2024February 4, 2026

Saturday’s Grief

Somethings are best left unsaid while waiting for answers to explain the unthinkable. But, there are those that have a right to speak when their family has been the target of an attack. These are powerful words to consider written by a woman who came very close to becoming a widow on Saturday after at the hands of evil.

July 14, 2024

“I am thinking of you, now, my fellow Americans.

We have always been a unique union. America, the fabric of our gentle nation is tattered, but our courage and common sense must ascend and bring us back together as one.

While I watched that violent bullet strike my husband, Donald, I realized my life, and Barron’s life, were on the brink of devastating change. I am grateful to the brave secret service agents and law enforcement who risked their lives to protect my husband.

To the families of the innocent victims who are now suffering from this heinous act, I humbly offer my sincerest sympathy. Your need to summon your inner strength for such a terrible reason saddens me.

A monster who recognized my husband as an inhuman political machine attempted to ring out Donald’s passion – his laughter, ingenuity, love of music, and inspiration. The core facets of my husband’s life – his human side – were buried below the political machine. Donald, the generous and caring man who I have been with through the best and worst of times.

Let us not forget that differing opinions, policy, and political games are inferior to love. Our personal, structural, and life commitment – until death- is at serious risk. Political concepts are simple when compared to us, human beings.

We are all humans, and fundamentally, instinctively, we want to help one another. American politics are only one vehicle that can uplift our communities. Love, compassion, kindness, and empathy are necessities.

And, let us remember that when the time comes to look beyond the left and right, beyond the red and the blue, we all come from families with the passion to fight for a better life together, while we are here, in the earthly realm.

Dawn is here again. Let us reunite. Now.

This morning, ascend above the hate, the vitriol, and the simple-minded ideas that ignite violence. We all want a world where respect is paramount, family is first, and love transcends. We can realize this world again. Each of us must demand to get it back. We must insist that respect fills the cornerstone of our relationships again.

I am thinking of you, my fellow Americans.

The winds of change have arrived. For those of you who cry in support, I thank you. I commend those of you who have reached out beyond the political divide – thank you for remembering that every single politician is a man or a woman with a loving family.

Melania Trump

Take a little time today to think about her words. She’s not a politician. Just a wife that went through something horrible on Saturday. We could all learn something from her letter.

More tomorrow.