Joy Hurt, Author at Grieving Gardener

August 9, 2024February 4, 2026

Wedding Bells!!!!

For many years, I lived in a world without wedding bells. I guess families go through periods like that. During decades of life, there are periods of weddings, baby showers, graduations, retirements, and funerals. Then, there are dry spells. Being one of the youngest in a very old family, I was out of step with many of those family milestones, except for the funerals.

Auntie TJ made a decision when she was my age that she’d no longer attend weddings, showers of any kind, or funerals. So, for the last twenty years, she’s avoid those observances. At the time, I was in awe of her decision, as I felt the same way. But, slowly, when there were none of the happy occasions to celebrate, I started to missed them.

Growing up in a family of five girls, sixteen years from the oldest to the youngest, wedding and baby showers were a common occurrence. Each daughter chose unique themes, decorations, food, and games for their special celebration. (Big difference between wedding showers of 1964 and 1978.) Then, the Aunties and cousins arrived loaded with giggles and gifts. Such fun memories full of laughter and good wishes.

Now, I’m receiving invitations again, and choosing differently. Bring on every party , game, and pink and blue cupcake. I’ll attend each gender reveal with a happy heart. I’ll cry at the right parts of the upcoming weddings, trying not to complain too much while shopping for the proper clothing for each event.

This weekend, we’re again on the road, traveling over Donner Pass to celebrate at a reception in California. The adorable newlyweds eloped on a destination wedding to Italy. How do you top a proposal under the Eifel Tower? With a wedding across the plaza from the Colosseum! Romance to the max for the adorable couple.

The party will be full of family and friends that will dance the night away under the stars after enjoying a magnificent meal. Weddings are a joyful time for the couple and all those who love them. This reception will be a time for the newlyweds to kick up their heals. After all, they’re already married!! Now it’s time to party.

Although Wookie knows California well, and two remaining wooklets would love to see her again, she will be hanging out at puppy camp with Oliver. There they’ll enjoy swimming, playing with others, and games of fetch. Enjoying lots of food and love, their weekend will disappear as quickly as ours.

Whatever you do this weekend, think about your own family milestones. If you’ve been invited to a baby shower or wedding, dust off your dancing shoes and go. Celebrating with family and friends is one of the happiest times in your life!! Go for it!

Happiness Happens

Smile today to share in “National Happiness Happens” Day. This is one national day that has merit. Although, it reminds me of those in Japan taking lessons to practice smiling. With all the stress in the world, we need a day to remind Americans that Happiness Happens when nurtured.

The Secret Society of Happy People (SOHP) was founded in August of 1998 to celebrate the expression of happiness. The society encourages members to recognize happy moments and be grateful for happiness in their daily life. They have two motto’s which include “Happiness Happens” and “Don’t Even Think of Raining on My Parade.” Their main purpose is to stimulate the right of everyone to express their happiness.

In 1999, the Secret Society of Happy People created “Admit You’re Happy Day” which eventually evolved into “Happiness Happens Day” created to celebrate the expression of happiness. August 8th was chosen because it’s the anniversary of the first membership in 1998.

Today, recognize every moment of glee, joy, delight, and pleasure. Don’t let it pass. Most importantly, giggles should be encouraged and allowed to blossom into full-blown laughter. Happeniness happens!

Today, more than on any other, please don’t rain on anyone’s parade. Somedays the happiness of others might be a bit irritating. Excessive giggling might try our patience, especially when the day’s been a bit rotten. However, personal trials don’t give anyone the right to squash another person’s joy. Instead, recognize the day’s delights. Just maybe, the smiles of others will part the storm clouds and allow a little sun to shine on your heart.

Whatever you do today, look for ways to share the blessing of happiness with others.

Minions courtesy of” “Despicable Me”. Try not to smile during THIS movie…… Just saying.

More tomorrow!

August 7, 2024February 4, 2026

Disappearing Act

In heaven, when blogging, it won’t be necessary to depend on a computer. In perfection, there’ll exist an endless stream of fascinating words, with no need to type them on a keyboard. While envisioning a blog site, it will appear complete with lots of music and pictures. What bliss for a creative writer.

There’ll be no frantic morning search for a topic, silly errors, or mistyped words. Just perfect grammar and delightful blogs on a variety of topics, all enchanting and informative.

Real life is far from that dream. In fact, some mornings, the computer turns the day upside down. This isn’t a unique problem, but common to many approaching 70. The problems have changed over the years, but the newest is something unexplainable.

Early on in my writing adventure, it was suggested that pictures be added to each daily post. At the time, adding pictures was a step too far for a new widow deep in her own fog. Someday, when I’m bed ridden and on deaths doorstep, those posts may get some attention. With almost four years of material, it’ll be a sizeable job to go back and populate everything with stock images.

Images glue the story together, and choosing the correct ones is almost as much fun as writing. Even better if the perfect song comes to mind. But, there is a fly in this ointment.

Writing is magical at any time, day or night, but comes easiest at 1:00 pm. With house and garden work finished, there is always a little window of quiet in the early afternoon. After finishing the written work, stock images from Googles are inserted into the piece. There are pictures of everything, even Bread and Butter pickles and bierocks.

Would personal pictures work? Sure. However, this increases the frustration of transferring them from phone to this site. Not good. A Google search works much better.

In the last few weeks, the pictures will remain visible from 10 minutes to 10 hours and then, POOF, they disappear. If I haven’t returned to the blog, I have no idea of the change. There’ll be a cryptic message instead of the intended pic.

Wonderful readers, if this happens, you can do one of two things. You can email me with this information, or just let it go, knowing a beautiful picture was erased by the Gods of the Cyber Clouds.

Whatever you do today, check on gardens and projects once in awhile. Cucumber plants can be decimated by a hungry little dog. Carefully selected pictures can disappear in the blink of an eye. Life. If it’s not one thing is another. Just the way it is traveling west.

More tomorrow.

August 6, 2024February 4, 2026

The Stories Farm Wives Share

A few weeks ago, HHH and I shared the most beautiful evening with friends. Our beloved Bee Lady and her friend invited us for an enchanting evening at her farm. Think of a lovely farm setting overlooking a field of alfalfa. The side yard dotted with more than ten lovely bee hives. The corral filled with three amazing donkeys, as cute as they could be. Luscious lawn, beautiful flowers, and gorgeous shade trees. Tranquil beauty at its best.

As I said before, her home is as lovely as they come. It makes me think back to my time at the ranch. I know how much work it takes to make a ranch look picture-book lovely. I’ve been there and done that. It’s time consuming, back braking, and never ending.

It’s magical when Miss Bee Lady and I share stories. Having both been farmer’s widows, we understand the shared stories, even though they happened in two different states. Any farm wife shudders at the word “irrigation” and all that encompasses. At one time or another, every farm wife has had the irrigation story to end all.

Stories of long rides in open-windowed pickup trucks when the smell of mowed alfalfa is intoxicating. Spring evenings when the whole world is one big sprout. Harvest abundance so great it drowns you in zucchinis. Quiet evenings on the farm when you listen to hear the faint hoot of an owl calling her littles to come out for flight school. Crickets. Doves. The wail of coyotes. So many memories known only to those that are lucky enough to have farmed.

Looking around her lovely ranch made me remember funny things that happened on my own. One of the best that comes to mind is when I was put in charge of buying phone line.

This was in the early 1990’s when there was still a need for something called a “Land Line” or phone wired into the house walls. For the first few years on the ranch, we had to pay a hefty charge because our drive way was the boundary for two separate phone companies. If our house had been on the east side of the drive, it would have saved us $70 a month. But, because it was on the west side, we were charged the fee on the 1st of every month on top of the regular bill of $17.92/ month.

After learning we needed a POTS line (Plain Old Telephone Service), a phone representative suggested installing a pole and phone line on the East side and then running an overhead line overhead to the West side of the drive and into our house.

Easy Peazy. After paying a hefty amount for the purchase and installation of a real, honest to goodness power pole, we were ready for the line.

I went to the best hardware store in town. The kind that has everything Lowe’s or Home Depot are lacking. Upon explaining that I needed to buy wire for the phone system, he explained that they were all out.

However, I could buy 300 feet of six strand Gopher-Proof sprinkler wire that would do the trick.

Now, at the time, I was still blonde and cute. But, even at that time, I knew that 300 feet of Gopher-Proof sprinkler wire was going to do nothing but irritate my husband to the max. The associate assured me that it would work perfectly, so I made my non-returnable purchase.

When my husband got home, he was absolutely pleased that I was so innovative. To my total amazement, it would absolutely work. Maybe even better than real phone line.

And so, for 15 years, all phone calls originated in the middle of our 40 acre vineyard, stretching 300 feet to the ranch house roof where our phone would ring. That line carried messages of graduations, harvests, job offers, incoming weather, births, deaths, and everything in between. As far as I know, the line is still in use today.

Whatever you do today, think about funny stories in your own life and jot them down. Life was so different in the 1900’s. Simpler. Cleaner. More honest. Something hard to describe unless you were there. How blessed I am to have experienced such a life.

More tomorrow.

August 5, 2024February 4, 2026

Gifts From the Garden

We are now the Produce Pals at church. Each Sunday, we’ve come with our buckets full of fresh food, and each Sunday, everything disappears. Next year, there’ll be only one zucchini plant. Never have I ever seen vegetables grow so fast!!! You can Monday morning and by the Tuesday, you have a mega squash at your feet.

Oliver is living up to his reputation as the trouble maker here at Winterpast. It’s partly my fault, I’ll admit. At the beginning of the growing season, I gave Tanner and Ollie a taste of an Armenian Cucumber. Just a little taste. They both LOVED their snack, gobbling up every single bit. They now not only love cucumber, but also yellow squash and bell peppers.

It’s the one thing in the garden that takes me back to my childhood. Each year, I was Oliver. After school, I’d run to the garden and steal green peppers, cherry tomatoes, and Armenian cucumbers. With such a clean, delicious taste, the cucumbers were my favorite.

These not only taste delicious, but they look beautiful when sliced. They have appeared to have been hand scalloped with a dainty little knife.

Each year, I’d help my mother with the canning. I always enjoyed this time of year because she truly needed our help. We’d harvest the cucumbers and cut them in thin, even slices. She’d bring the brine solution to a boil and “raw pack” the cucumbers, turning them into Bread and Butter Pickles. These were a family favorite over the winter holidays when our garden was empty.

This year, I struggled to get the cucumber seedlings to sprout. They took forever and then suffered with a bit of fungus. After applying NEEM oil, they slowly came back to life. They’d be healthy now if Oliver hadn’t trampled all the vines looking for cucumbers to steal.

Oy. Vey.

Dog for sale. Dog for sale.

Well, never mind. You’d bring him right back. We’re stuck for the long haul with Ollie. No one else would understand him like we do.

I finally collected four cups of sliced cucumbers and found Bread and Butter Pickle seasoning mix at a local hardware store. Adding water, sugar, and white vinegar, the cucumbers magically turned into pickles. I hope my vines have enough strength to grow a few more. I’d love to make another batch.

The simplest smells or tastes can transport me back to my childhood. German Sausage. Bread and Butter Pickles. Bierocks (a German version of a hot pocket). Homemade egg noodles. Unbelievably ripe and juicy fruit of any kind you can name. Simpler times so many years ago.

Whatever you do today, think about a food from your childhood and try a new recipe. There are recipes for every type of food imaginable on the internet. You only need to look. Remember to add, “World’s Best” and look for recipes that have five starts. Happy cooking!

More tomorrow.

August 2, 2024February 4, 2026

Back to School!!!!

One hundred eighty eager gardening students packed the classroom yesterday to begin a nine week course to earn our Home Horticulture Certificate. Things are so different than when I enter California State University, Fresno in September, 1977. The biggest change is that college is online now. All 180 students fit nicely on the face of our iPads in one ZOOM session.

I’ll never get used to ZOOM classes. Yesterday, most of the students chose to turn off the video, leaving their image square black. Scrolling down, square after square was empty. Then, there were those who thought it cute to put a stuffed animal in their place. I’m not sure exactly what the other gardeners looked like, if they were even watching the presentation.

Our course will focus on many aspects of expert gardening knowledge. In the first week, we’ll be learning about soil, plant nutrients, and composting. I’ve never been too keen on the thought of composting, but after this investment of time and energy, I suppose we’ll develop a compost pile. It will be a good use of the leaves that should start dropping next week. With 35 mature deciduous trees, it’s probably best we recycle the leaves.

During today’s reading assignment, I absorbed details about soil texture, structure, and pH. Getting a garden to grow in the desert is an art. Although HHH and I have created a small miracle in the gardens of Winterpast, there are many more things we need to learn to fine tune our art. We’ll now better understand our successes and failures.

After soils and composting, we’ll be covering plant propagation, plants varieties, container gardening and pest management. All this in nine weeks, through an impressive curriculum created by real gardeners in our area.

The first Master Gardener Program began in 1972 in Washington. Now there are programs in all 50 states. The goal of the program is to train gardeners to educate community members of all ages about the art of gardening. Lovely!! Throughout the United States, there are thousands of people just like HHH and me that will donate their time to help others grow things. It’s quite amazing, actually.

After Part 1 of the course is completed, we’ll move into Part 2. During this part, we’ll need to apply to become a Master Gardener, after passing a background check and another exam. All this should be finished by the end of December, 2024. Followed with hours of volunteer work throughout 2025.

One point not lost on HHH and I was that our county isn’t represented by an Master Gardener Extension Office. We’ll just need to see about that! With the population growth we’re experiencing, our community will need expertise to help all the new home owners moving our way.

I’m sad to say there’s no need for a new back pack or lunch box. We’ll interact with instructors and classmates right from our kitchen counter while learning. Our books are online and all quizzes and tests will be taken on a screen. No late nights cradling a hard cover school book while juggling multiple cups of coffee. Just lots of screen time.

It’s sad that HHH and I won’t have the opportunity to stroll through the UNR campus while holding hands on the way to class. No stolen kisses between the library stacks during hours of research. Not in this day and age. So far, modern campus life is overrated.

HHH and I are already dreaming of the opportunities our Master Gardener Certificates will bring us. All this stemming from something we love dearly. Our favorite pastime.
Spending time in the garden.

Please enjoy something fun this weekend. Spend time with family and friends. Go for a walk. Watch a good movie. Do something that makes you smile. Life is short!! Enjoy the moments we have!

Confucius Says……

Fortune cookies are one of my favorite parts of any Chinese meal. In our little town, there is no shortage of Asian food. We have three existing restaurants and a Panda Express on the way. Our favorite is owned by a young man who bought the establishment from his dad. The food is always fresh, hot, and delicious.

At the end of our last meal, we carefully selected a fortune cookie for our own. Mine said, “Don’t pursue happiness — create it.” Truer words haven’t been spoken. The more you chase a butterfly, the quicker it will fly away. But, stand still and it just might settle on your shoulder. Happiness can elude those that run after it.

While chasing happiness, the focus is on things missing in life rather than true blessings resulting in frustration and unhappiness. This results in a spiral towards UN-happiness. Not productive. Be grateful for all life’s blessings because there are thousands plus one.

By doing enjoyable things that have personal meaning while staying connected with others your life will move in a positive direction. Of course, there are some days things don’t all come together. It just means you get up the next day and try again. Live gives us many opportunities for re-do’s.

HHH and I have found happiness while enjoying our first year of marriage. I’m not sure when the honeymoon phase may end, but we’re expecting it won’t. Slowly, we’re finding schedules and hobbies that work for each of us, while protecting time for each other.

The most rewarding hobby we share in common is gardening. Both of us can’t wait for the sun to rise so we can get outside and tend to the plants. What one of us hasn’t observed in the garden, the other will.

“Have you seen….?”

“Why, yes I have! Isn’t it wonderful!”

As we “OOOhhhh” and “AAAhhhhh” throughout our garden, I wonder what the surrounding neighbors are thinking. I’m sure it sounds as if we’re finding gold in the garden. Perhaps we are!

Yesterday, we decided our very first “Hearts of Gold” cantaloupe was ready to pick. Nervously, we cut into it to find beautiful orange flesh of perfect sweetness and texture. Our first. These bring $10 a piece at the upcoming cantaloupe festival. Well, maybe we are growing gold!

The zucchinis, squash, eggplant, bell peppers, and tomatoes are in full production. We’re done with all the fruit except pears, which are always last. The strawberry bush is enjoying the cooler weather while roses and flowers continue to put on a show.

With our love for gardening, it was a no brainer that we’re both attending University to take a Master Gardeners Course. University of Nevada, Reno is offering the class which begins with a zoom conference today at noon. How fun to meet other gardeners in the area who love plants as much as we do.

Whatever you do today, think about growing something before winter comes. Herbs are a nice place to start. We plan to dehydrate basil, oregano, thyme, and chives for use in our Thanksgiving dinner. As a matter of fact, we’ll be enjoy our homegrown potatoes and bread butter pickles then, as well. Give it some thought. It might become your new hobby.

More tomorrow.

July 31, 2024February 4, 2026

Growing a Garden of Friends

While enjoying a great conversation a few days ago, my bestie, CC, and I discussed the blessings found in new friendships. Enjoying a mindful minute, I too time to reflect on our conversation while appreciating how beautifully my friendships have bloomed while continuing to grow. Sometimes, it’s easy to believe these things just happen by themselves. The truth is that great friendships take work.

Communication is key to any successful relationship. When I first met HHH, we both agreed that honest and continual communication would be the cornerstone to our marriage. Speaking and listening are both necessary to nourish any deep relationship. While enjoying our first year of marriage, we continue to learn about each other through healthy conversations.

It’s also important to make time for those you love. Thinking back to my childhood, I remember days when neighbors would stop by just to say “Hello”. My dad would actually stop working to sit under the Mulberry tree a spell. Mom would bring out fresh lemonade and cookies, while kids were expected to be seen and not heard. Country folk know how to enjoy a visit under the tree to discuss the latest crop prices or talk of upcoming weather. Nothing better than making time for a friends!

Here in the desert, surprise visits aren’t something experienced very often. On Sunday, I enjoyed one from a friend who dropped off a gorgeous bouquet of flowers. Such unexpected kindness was special, indeed.

She and I recently found ourselves needing to find forgiveness over a silly misunderstanding. Both being stubborn and silly, we’d been at an arm’s length until she broke the ice. The misunderstanding came about because of texting. It’s my suggestion that no one depends on texting for important things. When did it become too cumbersome to call someone to talk for a minute? Oy. Vey. This crazy world in which we live.

At any rate, with mutual apologies offered and forgiveness accepted, our friendship lives to bloom another day. With continued communication, respect, empathy and flexibility, I see us being friends until we are old and grey.

Oh wait…… we ARE old and grey.

Well, you get the picture.

Remember, true friends love you unconditionally. They are with you without judgement through the ups and downs of life. If you start to derail, they’re confidant enough to help you get back on track. Though you may not always agree, during bad times they’ll have your back. Most importantly, they can be trusted to speak highly of you when you aren’t there to defend yourself.

Yes, friendships in the garden of life are the most beautiful blooms of all. Whatever you do today, take inventory of your own besties and give them a call. It’s been too long.

More tomorrow.

July 30, 2024February 4, 2026

A Little Kindness Goes a Long Way

Oh, the drama of the world. Somedays it’s best to turn off the outside noise and focus on dust bunnies. Heaven knows, there are plenty multiplying here at Winterpast. I’m not sure why this is such a dusty summer, but it sure it. That’s a great place to turn my attention, away from the drama all over the world.

How I long for the olden days of the 1900’s. We’d wait four years to cheer for our country as American athletes did their best to represent us. Heck, I loved the Olympics so much, I visited Innsbruck, Austria just to see that little Tyrolean Village in the summer of 1977. How disappointed I was to find out it was nothing like the Olympian town I’d witnessed just a few month before on television. I should have known the Olympics were fabricated for television right then.

A couple days ago, an Egyptian Judo expert refused to shake the hand of an Israeli Judo expert. At the Olympics, no less. Really? Where have the simplest acts of kindness gone? Is it just too late? Even at the Olympics??

Random Acts of Kindness are positive actions that changes the givers thinking. A connection to others in a way nothing else is. A simple smile can change someone’s day for the better. I know of someone this happened to.

There is a pleasantly nice woman that works at a local store here in town. She has back issues and it’s apparent she suffers through her work days. Somedays, her employer allows her a chair, while other days, she stands, wincing as she scans codes. She rarely smiles

One day, HHH and I were in buying something. HHH had witnessed something outrageous across the store and made a simple but hilarious comment. What he said wasn’t important. It was that she found it as funny as we did and the three of us broke into laughter. Three strangers sharing a belly laugh. Now, that’s priceless.

Since then, her back doesn’t seem to have improved. However, she always has a broad smile for us when we shop. We, in turn, always try to get in her line. A shared bit of laughter has changed the way we see our time in that store. Hers, too, it seems.

When I came to my little town, without knowing it, I started planting a friendship garden full of strangers I’ve since gotten to know. Their smiles and encouragement bloom year round and for that I’m truly grateful.

Some of the best random acts of kindness are anonymous, spontaneous, and unplanned. When the time is right, you just know.

Pay for something that’s not yours.

Pick up a piece of trash you didn’t drop.

Teach something.

Rescue another living being from a rough situation.

Pay a visit to a shut in, even if only by a phone call.

Carry something heavy for someone else for a little bit.

Write a heart-felt Thank-You note.

All the while, smile, smile, smile. That smile costs nothing and can mean the world to another going through a rough time.

Whatever you do today, think about doing a random act of kindness this week. Just one. Maybe even something secret and anonymous. You will be surprised how it affects your day!

July 29, 2024February 4, 2026

1/2 Full or 1/2 Empty

AT this very moment is your glass half full or half empty? Your experiences today may depend on that question and how often you choose to see it as full. Every single day, happiness is a choice we all make. Even on the darkest days, you can choose to leave the drapes closed or get up and go with the flow.

Consistently happy people seem to look at situations in life to find the good. In 2020, when grief was new, small miracles lifted my spirits every day. That I could be lifted up was a miracle in itself. Some of those miracles were hard to see at the time. Once I opened my eyes, I saw them surrounding me every day.

Take, for instance, the fact that I moved to a new house and town just 17 days after becoming a widow. Everything I’ve ever read on widowhood would’ve advised against going through a complicated sale and purchase of two properties, and the move that followed. And yet, that was exactly the thing I needed to do. I was blessed things worked out the way they did.

At the time, Covid was new. The quarantine was very real, with almost everyone hunkered down in their homes. For a woman that hadn’t driven in six years, this was golden. I could get in my Barbie Jeep and go.. And, I did, while enjoying the empty roads of the high desert plains of Northwestern Nevada.

During those days of quarantine, I enjoyed a beautiful boat ride by myself on a Lake Tahoe Yacht, the Bleu Wave. I spent nights in several casinos and slept well because there were not many guests to make noise. I ate out often at restaurants that remained open. All the while, I had time to grieve quietly, remembering what I needed to remember and forgetting the parts I chose not to.

It was during those early days I found I’d been ignoring my relationship with God. I fixed that, learning so much during hours of Bible Study. As my soul became stronger, so did earthIy relationships, forming friendships I still rely on today.

Slowly, I found the strength to rid myself of things I’d no longer need. I sold my beloved RV, while accepting I’d never have another. I made myself a beautiful nest in which to heal and did the best I could to provide myself with nourishment each day. I found I love the quiet more than anyone should and became best friends with my God AND my own soul.

So many in life don’t have the ability or will to take a step beyond the date someone dies. For whatever reason, they find themselves lingering in an empty room waiting for some answers. I did that for a time. Then, after finding strength on a mountain top in an early summer wind storm, I finally released my beloved to the universe. By releasing him, I found freedom in my own soul. Life could finally move on.

My glass through the entire process remained overflowing with goodness. With the help of family and friends, growth occurred in spite of the tragedy of cancer. Looking back with a grateful heart, I’m thankful God surrounded me with earthly angels. They all took turns carrying me when I was sure I couldn’t take another step alone.

Was it easy? NOPE. Did I wake up every morning to the question — 1/2 Full or 1/2 Empty? You betcha. Some days, it was just impossible and I’d choose sleep over wakefulness. But, I usually concluded that 1/2 full was better than empty of anything and went on. After awhile, it was just easy to choose happiness, because after everything is said and done, it IS a choice.

Whatever you do today, think about all the wonderful things that’ve happened to you since your loss and be thankful. Life is a series of journeys. Some are just plain great, while others are the most difficult in life. Look for the good in life as you make your way. You’ll be surprised how much beauty surrounds you!!

More tomorrow.