A year of firsts. Widowhood is that if nothing else. Some things are done for the first time. Some things are done for the first time alone. First time to contemplate a life before widowhood. First time to see things from an opposing point of view when it is too late for apologies. First time to understand the true beauty of being with your soulmate. First time to grasp the tragedy of losing that. A lot of firsts to digest.
I awoke this morning to an odd combination of weather alerts. A Fire Winter Storm Watch for Lake Tahoe. In my little town, 68 miles away, a Fire Weather Warning. Such great news to receive before coffee. I had planned to go to Tahoe once more before the winter snows begin, with reservations for Monday-Wednesday next, my last visit being relaxing and fun. Oliver has reservations for his Doggie Sleep Over Extravaganza. But, navigating snow is not something I feel like dealing with, so my plans may need to change.
I have already written about my first experience 4-wheeling in the snow last spring. I have yet to experience driving in the snow and ice alone. I am sure that will be a post all of its own. On yesterday’s daily walk, a neighbor was out shoveling horse poop. Folks that is the cold, hard truth of living with mustangs. They poop. A lot. If not cleaned up immediately, more mustangs come and poop on top of original poop. It is not romantic, wonderful, or convenient. You need a flat shovel at the ready. You get the idea.
The neighbor informed me that the snow isn’t a big deal here, which I had already researched. In his six years here, there has only been one time that the storm dropped 5″. He had purchased a snow plow for his lawn tractor and has used it one time, and that was because he had just bought it and wanted to. So, as far as being snowed in for days, which was the case in VC, I plan to have hot chocolate and enjoy every flake. That will be a good first, as poor VST would just about worry the snow right out of the sky.
On the 12th, I am going to my First meeting of the Veterans Coalition here in town. To say I am excited is an understatement. I plan to help in any way I can, being that NEW volunteer that so many groups long for. This group has raised money for 8,000+ wreaths for the cemetery here in town ($10 each, not bad for a little volunteer group). December 19th, one wreath will lovingly be placed on every grave. The group also helps with funerals of fallen heroes at the cemetery and I’m going to sign up to help with as many of those as I can. One first discovered, is that I have way too much time on my hands with nothing to fill it. This is just what I need.
A First illness is under control thanks to Tele-Doc-On-The-Screen and Valtrex. Just as she said, it appears meds were started so early, a nasty outbreak may not happen. I am fully aware an illness it is, using the next week to rest and nap. Thank goodness Valtrex works for me.
For the First time, I am fall cleaning and decorating for Christmas alone. Last year, VST was really into it. He even purchased his own special office decorations that I am excited to hang this year. He was jolly and enjoying every minute, until I came up with a cold which I promptly shared with him. It was a sweet, even if sniffly, last Christmas together in our winter wonderland. No gift exchange. No big meal. Just two old people making sure they had everything needed to mend. We had been invited to an A Street gathering, but he sweetly asked if we could celebrate romantically, just the two of us. I will never forget his sweet request, a bittersweet First. This will be the First time I need to give myself holiday memories all my own.
Make a list of your own Firsts. You will be amazed at how many you have already accomplished. Be sure you prepare for difficult holiday Firsts and plan how to make them your own, while honoring the thoughts of all the wonderful holidays past.