Grieving Gardener

What amazing things have happened in the days in which I’ve been absent. The most life altering change is that I’ve married a most wonderful man, perfect for me in the most imperfect ways. To consider myself blessed is an understatement. Happiness has come to live at Winterpast in stacks of boxes and new belongings.

While being in the middle of the organized chaos of a move, life has been a whirlwind including the World Series, packing tape, and two dogs that have taken up fence barking with the neighbor’s dogs. No more the quiet and mundane life of the past, things are ripping around here like the King Tides of the central coast.

I promise I’ll get to the details leading up to the big event, however, I want to start with a quiet little story about the rings. During the honeymoon, the story about our wedding rings brought a tear to the eye of one or two. Perfect for the first day back at the keyboard.

When my Hubba-Hubba-Hubby (now HHH, formally known as My Mysterious Marine and Fabulous Fiancé) first proposed, we were a little stumped. If you’ve just happened to look for wedding rings, you know. If not, trust me, it’s a daunting task. Diamonds or another precious stone? Gold, titanium, or something else? Tattooed rings? The list is endless.

Both HHH and I enjoyed long and beautiful marriages to high school sweeties before cancer and COPD changed all that. Those relationships made us into two people that fell in love over the last year. Two heavenly angels now watch over us and might’ve even had a lot to do with us ending up together. We’d like to believe that they’re dancing a jig in heaven celebrating that we’ve found earthly companions with whom to continue our journey.

After becoming a widow and widower, there were many times we thought about what should be done with the rings that remained. Sell them? Gift them to family? Make them into something else? Nothing seemed right for either of us so they sat in jewelry boxes at two different houses in the same town.

After thinking about the situation, we decided the rings were a symbol of the wonderful lives we shared with former spouses. They were also a statement about the people we’d become during those relationships. What better materials from which to create rings that will be with us until we die?

And so, the plan came together.

HHH just happened to know a guy that just happened to be an amazing jeweler who just happened to be married to a jewelry design genius. Together, like old friends, the four of us sat together at their little shop and visited while a design was drawn on paper with pencil. From there, the wax prototypes were created for our approval. In a month, the real rings were ready to be picked up. I will tell you, they are blindingly spectacular.

By using our past, we created a present that we’ll enjoy long into the future. The love embedded in the gold was there long before I ever said my vows to the most handsome guy standing at the end of a very long aisle.

In the first days of our married life, we’ve found it delightful to ride around in a luxury car with painted windows. “Just Married”. “J Loves B 4-ever”. “He asked and she said “Yes””. With those few words written in white paint, the waves, honks, and well wishes have warmed our hearts. We have made more than a few people tear up as they’ve listened to our love story while sharing their own.

In the next weeks, the plan is coming together. Grievinggardener.com will remain to help those just entering the nightmare of widowhood. From the sadness, loneliness, and grief, good things can again grow. Just as the devastation remaining after a forest fire, with rains, sunshine, and the passing of time, new life comes. So it is with the journey of widowhood.

In the next months, look for a new blog that will chronicle life as a 67 year old bride. It isn’t for the weak or timid, I can assure you of that.

Whatever you do today, reflect on the first days of your own married life while remembering the beauty and fragile nature of a new marriage. That’s where HHH and now I stand as we enjoy things like Thursday Night Football and the World Series. Our Winter has past. There is so much to celebrate. I’ll tell you more tomorrow.

Working on fall cleaning late last night, I found my own space has changed so much in the last four Autumns. I spend much less time watching movies in “Zero Gravity”, floating in the weightlessness of self pity. Nope. No more of that. This woman has things to do and places to go. I’ve chosen a purposeful course of action with my eyes focused forward instead of looking down.

There is now an empty dresser in my room in which my new husband will place his belongings. There is an empty side of the closet that will hold his clothes. Every part of Winterpast is different now. That frightened young widow of 17 days who stood next to the empty pantry shuddering in sobs is healed.

During those years of self discovery, there was something that only a widow or widower understands. I was A-L-0-N-E. Before baptism and spiritual rebirth, I was in an even darker place of loneliness. For widows everywhere, my heart breaks for you. Although I only know my grief experience, I know I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. No matter how its described, its thousands of times worse and then some.

In the beginning, VST was everywhere here at Winterpast. On every wall and counter, there were pictures anchoring me to 32 years of marriage. So blessed when I met him at our class reunion, I can honestly say, we saved each other. No matter the ups and downs of married life, we were safe together. And then, the only together left was photos and old cards.

Over time, everything has changed. Winterpast is a reflection of the woman I’ve become. Although still alone, I’ve filled the void making friends with myself. That took a little doing, as I realized there were things about myself I didn’t much care for. Things I was angry about. Things I needed to change. So, with God’s help, I did.

When I remembered who I was, things changed. For the better. I stopped accepting poor treatment from others. I learned to try new things while realizing simple truths like “I hate mayonnaise now and forever more.” Somethings will never change and I learned that’s okay, too.

A little over one year ago, a wonderful guy came into my life. He lives just six miles away in a grey and white house that helped him heal. He’d lost his high school sweetheart AND his beloved dog of 16 years. He was A-L-O-N-E, as only a widow or widower can understand. He spent the same four autumns purposely changing. He painted. He gardened. He softened his heart to the Lord. He prayed. And, he found me.

Everything has changed just as everything always does. When the nights are the loneliest and the days so dark you wonder where the sun went, just keep going. Make one little, tiny change. And then another. Pretty soon, you’ll be on the road to better. Don’t miss that turn towards “Happy”. Sometimes, it’s lost behind the trees, but trust me on this, it’s there.

For the next bit of time, I’ll be a laughing, crying, doubting, embracing, quivering, shivering, bitching, forgiving, loving, sleepless, nightmare-plagued, cranky, coffee-guzzling, detail-oriented bride. One minute I’ll be singing songs from The Sound of Music, and the next minute, I’m sure I won’t have a voice at all.

By THE DAY, I’ll have ordered every possible evening dress in THE certain desired color, only to have returned them all, except one. THE DRESS. I’ll have spent time with the people in this world that I love the most. And then, I’ll walk down a very short aisle that will seem like a million miles. I’ll only make it to the end because there will stand a man with the most beautiful blue eyes waiting to take my hand. And there, the first chapter of our life’s story together will begin.

I’ll be back on October 30th. By then, I’ll have a new last name and be enjoying the honeymoon year of our new marriage. Shortly after, there’ll be some changes. I can no longer be writing as the Grieving Gardener, as I’ll certainly be Glowing and Grinning. My Mysterious Marine and Fabulous Fiancé (MMFF) will have a new name, already selected. Come back on the 30th to find out all the news! Just embrace it. Everything Changes!

Well, the last of the major details are ironed out and plans for the big day are on hold until it arrives. Ceremonial protocols are in place. Biblical scripture has been chosen. Seating charts are in place. Flowers ordered. Menu planned. All the hard work is done. If so, why do I feel there are some important details forgotten? Because I’m the bride and we’re supposed to feel that way (or so I’ve been told).

Yesterday, it became REALLY REAL. While talking to the pastor in God’s house, the ceremonial details of The Big Day became finalized. There are still details to work out with the timing for the photos. It’s always hard to wait at the reception for the couple to arrive. I hate that part. But, it’ll be necessary to take some photos after the ceremony.

My Mysterious Marine / Fabulous Fiancé has only made one request. He doesn’t want to see me on the day of the wedding until I walk down the aisle. Easy enough. Our church has a little playhouse in which to hide. Complete with little tiny chairs, the hens will squeeze in a few minutes before the service begins. I’ll be listening for the correct place in the music and then, down the aisle I’ll glide.

Yesterday, the pastor if we’d like to record the service. At first, we both gave a confident “NO”. But, video is something you can choose to never watch again. However, if you don’t have the video, you don’t have a choice later on. There are also some important people that won’t be there. For them, we changed our minds and agreed. We did request that he ask people to turn off their phones and pay attention to the service. No extra pictures in the church.

Our beloved friends and family members are being so supportive. They’ll begin arriving the Thursday before the big day, and then party will begin. Until then, there are yards to mow and cobwebs to sweep in preparation for their visits. I’ve cleaned the guest room and bathroom many times over, wanting a 5-star review from my guests.

As the last of my houseplants die, I’ve been buying replacements. The African Violets should be in bloom when our big day arrives. Autumn is here turning Winterpast into a mural of reds, yellows, golds, and browns from leaves that are now falling. What a show the roses have given us this year! Thanks to MMFF, the yard has 8 new rose bushes, 1 apple tree, two Japanese Maples, and three hosta’s during the summer of 2023.

Next week, it’s again time to turn off the water for the year. It’s quite the routine, opening a valve here and shutting one off over there. The watering system of Winterpast is intricate and extensive, keeping the 1/2 acre of gardens watered twice a day. It’ll be nice to take a break from the demands of constant repairs and upkeep of the aged system, a chore about which MMFF never complains.

Today, my attention we be focused on shopping for the honeymoon. It’s time for new jeans and hoodies. We’ll need them as we start out on our new life together. Thankfully, our vacation won’t involve airplanes because in this crazy world, it might take us a week to arrive at our destination. We’re depending on a more traditional and luxurious form of transportation to whisk us away on our honeymoon.

Whatever you do today, enjoy the fall season. Check out the Halloween decorations that are appearing everywhere. If you live close to the Goddess of the Central Coast, you’ll already know that you can find a beautiful array of scarecrows in residence for the month of October. If you’re not, start a tradition of your own and put a few up in your neighborhood. Enjoy that morning cuppa and relax!!! It’s fall!

More tomorrow.

I pray you’ll be our eyes, and watch us where we go
And help us to be wise in times when we don’t know
Let this be our prayer, when we lose our way
Lead us to the place, guide us with your grace
To a place where we’ll be safe

I pray we ‘Il find your light, and hold it in our hearts
When stars go out each night,
Remind us where you are
Let this be our prayer, when shadows fill our day
Help us find a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we’ll be safe

A world where pain and sorrow will be ended
And every heart that’s broken will he mended
And we’ll remember we are all God’s children
Reaching out to touch you
Reaching to the sky

We ask that life be kind, and watch us from above
We hope each soul will find another soul to love
Let this be our prayer, just like every child

Who needs to find a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we’ll be safe
Needs to find a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we’ll be safe _{Written by David Foster}

Last night was full of music and laughter as we created the play list for a reception. I couldn’t help but reflect on how times have changed. Once, not that long ago, one needed to hire a disc jockey to play real records. Now, two sexagenarians can sit on the couch and listen to any genre of music while selecting their favorite tunes.

The wedding party and I will be entering our little church to the English version of “The Prayer”. I just found this song yesterday, and by the end, I was crying. Last night, I played it for my Mysterious Marine and Fabulous Fiancé. By the end of the song, he, too, was crying. So, it’s a winner. The whole church will be sniffling.

So far, we’ve selected everything from Motown to Sinatra, with a movie tune thrown in for good measure. With our reception being five hours and our current list three hours, we need 20 more songs to complete the list.

If you decide to make your own Alexa-compatible playlist, you need to install the Amazon Music app on your phone or iPad. Then, you simply request the songs you like and create your own list. You can make it public or private, and then ask your Alexa to play the songs in order, or randomly. As simple as that.

We had several songs that we both chose. There were a few that were new to one or the other of us. But, for the most part, MMFF’s selections mirrored mine and mine his. Just another area in which we are so similar.

Today, we are meeting with our Pastor to go over the details. I’m hoping we don’t need a rehearsal, but perhaps we do. I’m thinking it’s pretty easy to walk through a door and down an aisle. In reality, it will probably be the longest 45′ walk of my life. Thank goodness there will be bright blue eyes waiting at the end, and warm hands to grab mine that will be shaking. Everything else will fall into place.

We are writing our own original vows. No surprise there. MMFF has limited the word count to 100. That will be tough for a writer. Actually 100 word manuscripts are tough for anyone. Try it if you don’t believe me. To have an impactful message in 100 words is almost impossible on the first try. I will honor his request, but am hoping he’ll grant me a higher word count.

Today will be my day to work in the yard and garden, while escaping wedding madness for a bit. I’m still replacing house plants after the terrible tragedy of death last week. A few more have passed on. The Ficus benjamina is dropping its leaves after such a hard lesson learned.

Whatever you do today, keep listening to music. Go back to your high school days. If you have an Alexa, ask her to play 50’s, 60’s, or 70’s music. Back then, people actually played the instruments and sang songs that they wrote themselves. Incredible artists help raise us into the unique individuals we are today.

As the days get closer to the wedding, I’m really enjoying the life of the bride! As my “To-Do” list gets shorter another important detail pops into my head. And so it goes around here.

I’m finding that the more that MM and I share our news, the more fun this engagement becomes. It doesn’t matter who. Friend or stranger. The news of two sexagenarians marrying makes people smile.

Saturday, found us traveling to a nearby valley to attend the wedding of a young relative. The couple was of the appropriate age. In their 20’s, it was only fitting that they had six bridesmaids, six groomsmen, a junior bridesmaid, and one darling flower girl.

The weatherman had been threatening rain for two weeks. On that very morning, bright blue sky broke through heavy clouds, giving them the weather that every bride would love. I’m pretty sure their pictures will be fabulous, as the light had that perfect fall quality that I hope to see at my own wedding. The only droplets falling when they married at 2 PM were the bride’s tears.

The Mayor, (soon to be my brother-in-law), did a great job with the ceremony. As this was HIS oldest grandchild, it was hard for him to get through some of the words himself. Especially when the cutest bride was speaking her vows through tears of her own.

After the ceremony and a wait for pictures, the party moved into a barn. Not a moment too soon, as the rain started.

It’s hard to compare weddings, especially when the bride and groom are at such different seasons of life. The wedding of a couple with their entire life ahead of them is different than that of a couple that is in the Autumn of their lives. Each union has its own unique qualities.

This week, it’s time to buckle down and get the last details ironed out. We’ll be meeting with our pastor to talk about the marriage ceremony. There are vows to be written and music to be selected for the church. The venue, food, cake, and music have been selected, but now need fine-tuning. When thinking of the normal cost of weddings these days, I’m proud to say we’ve kept under budget.

A new friend who just happens to be a professional is going do the photography. Not only does he do an occasional wedding from time to time, he is THE photographer for the huge rodeo in the biggest little city to the west, along with their air races. If this man is shooting rodeo competition from inside the ring, he’ll be able to get some great shots of our family as they celebrate our day!

As all couples do, we’ll be off on a beautiful honeymoon to parts kept secret for now. I’ll be taking at least a week off to enjoy my new married life. But, that’s a little while from now.

Through all of this, I guess I’ve been glowing. It’s been a long time since I’ve glowed about anything. People smile and tell me happiness looks good on me. Let me tell you all, it feels great.

When I think back through my experiences since January of 2020, I thank God that MM was waiting for me at this fork in the road. Sweet MM with his enchanting smile and sparkling blue eyes. There is no doubt in our minds that God planned the next part of our journey just for us.

Whatever you do today, listen to some of your favorite tunes. Music lightens the load and can brighten your spirit. If you have a chance to attend a wedding, do it while wearing a smile. Remember, happiness is something wonderful to share with others.

More tomorrow.

Oy.

Vey.

Me, oh My, a stick in eye!

Down to the last of the details, my head is swimming with so many little bits of nonsense. Just what is the perfect shade of rose to compliment my dress (which isn’t white, by the way). Which shoes will let me dance until my legs are about to fall off? Who will join my reception crew? I can see how a bride turns into a crazy, detail driven BRIDEZILLA and I can’t let that happen to me.

Yesterday, I visited the venue. The doors to “our” room were closed, but the reception coordinator was there to take payment and give advice. There is one small detail that has me worried. At the very minute I put one satin slipper on the aisle towards MM, we get the keys to the reception hall. At least the tablecloths will be on all the tables. Other than that, in a very short time, the room will be transformed into our reception hall. I’m still looking for willing friends and family that’ll miss a few minutes of the big moment in order to help us with the hall.

We knew this little detail when we booked the venue. Another group has the room rented until 4:00. Somehow, in jeans and t-shirts on a sunny day in August, it didn’t seem like a big deal. Now, I’m beginning to recognize our flawed thinking. We are decorating minimalists and know our guests will make the wedding, not centerpieces. The delivery of the food and cake are a bit worrisome , but I know the reception crew we choose will make it happen.

With the hall paid for, I was off to order the food. Meats, cheeses, fresh rolls, and three types of salads are on the menu. With chocolate and cake, the food should be delicious and no guest should leave hungry. The very young woman who helped me with my order was adorable. Likewise, she thought it adorable that someone so old would be getting married. Lovely child. Just lovely. All I need is a food angel to pick up the trays and get them to the reception on time.

The last detail on yesterday’s agenda was a trip to the local flower angel. She’s my sister in Christ and will make sure that everything is perfect on the big day. She’s even letting us borrow a couple arrangements for the wedding. My bouquet will look as if was picked from an English garden that morning. That’s a skill to be able to create that look when one lives in the desert. Hanging out with the flowers was my favorite task of the day.

The jeweler touched base with us yesterday. Custom rings will be finished in a week. I can’t wait to see the final product. How amazing it’s been to watch a handful of gold and diamonds turn into something entirely different! Our pasts behind us, we’ll pledge vows and then step into the bright new world together. The jeweler has assured me he will make rings garden friendly. Good thing, because I don’t plan to take mine off very often. Diamonds and cashmere. Doesn’t every girl garden that way?

Tomorrow we’re attending our first family wedding as an engaged couple. The bride registered for a mop system. You heard that right. An “O-Cedar Rinse Clean Mop with 3 Heads”. I have that very system and love it so much. This bride is delightfully practical. Now, I can’t say for sure, but, a mop just might be in her future. If you don’t have one, check it out. It’s worthy adding to a bridal registry.

There are many more details still to cover. From music to a guest book, these things are starting to disturb my normal bedtime routine. Last night, I finally finished assembling 100 adorable favors, each taking several steps to complete. Another project completed.

Whatever you do today, think back to your own wedding preparations and day. Think of all the work you did, or didn’t do because you were smart and eloped. Then, say a little prayer for this Desert Bride who will be in full freak-out mode for the next few weeks. All prayers and good vibes are certainly appreciated.

With Monday stuffed with out-of-town appointments, I’ll be back on Tuesday. Until then, keep calm and carry on.

Wedding coordination continues as the excitement builds every day. These tasks more suited for youngsters, but MM and I are holding our own. Every aspect of THE big day has been visited and planned. Some parts have almost completed themselves, which is a good feeling. Details seem to have been preplanned with us being the last to know.

MM’s sweet mom was fretting about a wedding present. With two full homes, we have most things you would consider giving a young couple starting their lives together. We’ve got two kitchens, twice the wall decorations, and furniture to give away. She was really struggling over finding the proper gift so she asked what we would like.

The perfect gift just popped into my brain. Winterpast doesn’t have a proper apple tree. Now, we do have apricot, plum, and pear. There ARE two apple trees of Chinese origin. Let me tell you, the Chinese were trying to overthrow our country by introducing us to this variety. The fruit isn’t good for cooking. For that matter, it’s not good for eating being prone to worms and rot. A cardboard tasting version with very little apple flavor. A worthless variety, every summer I need to clean up after the abundant crop these two trees produce.

And then, we have the Crab Apple, which is almost as bad as the Chinese Apples. Worthless.

Yes. A Granny Smith apple tree would be about the best gift any person on this planet could give us. Sure, we need a peach and a nectarine, but a Granny Smith tree would give us pies and applesauce for the rest of our days together.

When I mentioned that this would be a gift we’d both love and cherish, she just gave me a look. It’s not every day a new bride would celebrate the thought of a new tree for her garden. But then, I’m not your average, everyday new bride. These days, I’m a Glowing, Grinning, Gardener.

After deciding on the gift of a tree, MM and I jumped in the pickup and visited a REAL nursery. The kind of place that charges the correct price for the quality of plants they sell. Not a big box store that sells off brands that are prone to early death. There, in the tree section, sat the last two Granny’s. All the other types of fruit trees were in groups that would create small orchards. In the Granny section, there were just two left, and one would soon be ours.

After carefully looking over the trees, we selected the better of the two. A young employee delivered it to the pickup as we talked along the way. Enjoying his second year of work at the nursery, he was lucky enough to have another job and loved them both. Even the employees were of high quality at that place.

When we arrived home, MM again worked his magic, properly planting the Granny next to the little bridge in the back yard. There, we’ll enjoy many seasons with her.

MM’s mom did ask that we buy a big one so we can enjoy its apples together. All being in the Autumn of our lives, I understood her words all too well. Plant apple trees while you still can. Make pies while you can still serve them to your family. Applesauce works well when you have fewer teeth than you started your life with. Nothing finishes a great dinner better than a fabulous piece of pie.

Our first wedding present was a huge success. Gardeners love nothing more than gifts for the garden. Winterpast is our favorite place, holding memories of family, friends, and us. Welcome home, Granny. Enjoy this most beautiful season of life with us!

Whatever you do today, consider visiting to a REAL nursery or farm. It might involve driving a few miles if you live in a city, but try. A winery? An apple orchard? A pumpkin patch? Take a day and experience a little Autumn fun. Don’t forget to take a sweatshirt or coat. Enjoy a crisp fresh apple along the road . It’s Autumn!!

More tomorrow.

Well, things didn’t go so well for the first inhabitants of the greenhouse. In fact, the 12-hour visit to the lush and very humid oasis resulted in the death of five seasoned plants. Total destruction, with no chance for recovery.

Two days ago, with Autumn breezes churning the air, I took all my houseplants out to the greenhouse for a little rejuvenation. Rest and relaxation. A change of scenery. My thoughts were that I could do fall cleaning in preparation for the wedding while the plants enjoyed some sunshine.

Everything was fine in the beginning. With many trips from one house to the other, the plants seemed to be loving it when they were all in place. Using the nearest hose, I gave them all a good shot of Miracle Grow as I watered the pea-gravel floor again. After they were all settled I shut the door and went back inside. It was late afternoon, with the greenhouse receiving three more hours of full sun.

I never gave the plants another thought until yesterday around 11. I thought the sun was high enough in the sky to create some humidity creating water droplets on the walls and leaves. Expecting happy plants on a day with cool mid-day temps, I opened the door to be overcome with horror and disbelief.

The inside temperature in the greenhouse was 100+. Even with gallons of water applied to the floor, there was zero humidity.

The plants were either in a state of true stress OR worse. D-E-A-D. I think I could’ve suffered a major sunburn myself. Springing to action, I removed those plants that hadn’t yet burned.

The pathos plants that’ve lived with me for over 10 years were burned to death. Their lifeless little leaves were now blackened. MM had just commented on how well they were doing in rooms with very little light. Well, no more.

The Dracaena’s all died, frying where I’d placed them. Each pot was so hot, it was hard to carry them to the trash were they received last rights.

Surprisingly, the Ficus bejamina tree, which I thought would’ve been the most fragile, survived.

The Sanseveria were on their way out, but luckily, I arrived in time. Another hour, and there would’ve been more reportable deaths.

Thank goodness, the new African Violets didn’t make the trip. Even I know they are just too fragile to survive such a change. There would’ve been nine deaths to report. As it is, they are growing well with new blooms to open soon.

Fifteen healthy plants went on vacation. Only ten came home. They are resting, still traumatized by their trip to the other house.

Today is a new day, with plans to order the greenhouse shade cloth. Before guests arrive at Winterpast, replacement plants will grace my windowsills.

“Oh, what lovely plants you have! What a green thumb! I wish my plants would grow this well! What’s your secret? The greenhouse?”

Welllll……..

Actually……..

Yes.

That, and a really good nursery at which to buy replacements. Let’s keep that one our little secret. Okay?

Whatever you do today, if it involves the unknown, start small while checking for unknown results. If you move a plant to a new location, check on it every few hours for the first few days. You might save yourself some grief. Happy Gardening!!!

More tomorrow.

At Last! My house plants have some respite from dry desert conditions. Yesterday, they all moved into their new digs until the wedding! Nothing like some humidity to spruce them up a bit. It’s time I give an update on the greenhouse.

Greenhouses are the desired possession of the suburban home owner in these parts. They do come with drawbacks, many discovered over the summer.

1. Unless you live in constant 70 degree weather, (in which case you don’t need a greenhouse), there is some down time. In fact, there are times of the year they are unusable without extreme effort. Even then, questionable. Under the intense desert sun, my greenhouse is just too hot. Think of burning weeds with a magnifying glass. Similar heat in the greenhouse. Next summer’s goal is to find a way to ventilate. Perhaps I need to remove a couple side panels? A drape of shade cloth? Something can and will be done, but I haven’t found the answer yet.
2. Greenhouses must be watered. A Lot. Meaning, the ground in the greenhouse, not just the plants inside. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I didn’t expect the amount of water it would take to saturate the ground, providing consistent humidity. It will take some time to season the soil under the pea gravel floor to provide the necessary humidity. The water bill will reflect the luxury of my new hobby, no doubt.
3. Heat will be necessary in the winter. The smaller part of the investment was a thermostat for heating and cooling. The larger expense will go to the electrician that will need to run power to the little house. And so, the project will take on a life of its own.

The positive points of owning a greenhouse are obvious. It’s a tropical paradise in the middle of the desert. When I need a little humidity and extra oxygen from all the growth, I can step into my little oasis. 10′ x 14′ of lush greenery and soothing humidity. My ferns and geraniums will overwinter there, being safe from the winter storms and snow. Our prize strawberry plant will find a safe spot and continue to bloom and produce a little longer than normal. As soon as the heater is installed, that is.

So far, I have two potting benches on which to play. Today, I’m going to get some needed accessories, such as a garbage can to store my potting soil and mulch. Pots and tools will find their place. Slowly, it will turn into a playhouse of wonder and a most loved spot here at Winterpast.

If you are thinking of a greenhouse of your own, be sure to get the biggest one you can afford. This size is big enough for two people to work without stepping on one another. Choose the appropriate material for the “floor”. (Pea gravel is working well.) Carefully consider the foundation. Having a concrete foundation on which to anchor the greenhouse made a big difference here in the high desert wind.

Speaking of the Zephyr winds….

Our first wind damage occurred last week. One of the roof vents and panels ripped away from the greenhouse. Poof. Ripped off. The fix will take some careful design work and MM is on it. These aluminum structures are not for the winds of the high desert plains. Although mine is in a protected area of the gardens, it’s still vulnerable. Other than that one panel, the rest of the structure survived.

It’s ability to withstand snow pack remains to be seen. It will be a chore to remove the snow from the roof each day. The good thing is that we don’t get much here on the high desert plains of Northwestern Nevada.

With Autumn officially here, the trees have started dropping their leaves and the next phase of work begins. Fall clean-up. I hope the roses will continue blooming a little longer for wedding photos in the back yard. In just a few weeks, life will change here at Winterpast. For such blessings I am so grateful.

Whatever you do today, think about poking around outside. If you don’t have a garden, think about raising a plant. Terrariums are a wonderful hobby. Tiny little greenhouses that you micromanage from your kitchen table. Plants clean the air and add something to a home. Give it a try.

More tomorrow.

Blessings surround Winterpast. Ollie and the Wookie are having the time of their lives racing through the first leaves of fall. I’ve put the first bit of water in the greenhouse, which is just now cool enough to use. There are roses to trim and trees to feed. MM and I continue to plan our upcoming nuptials. But, a sense of loss looms large.

A dear friend has now been a widow for seven long days. I met her while VST was still alive. In fact, it was she who introduced us to the magic of Winterpast. Her expertise as a realtor helped me through my first week of widowhood while I was selling one home and moving into another. We both lost our husbands suddenly in violent and tragic ways. I know exactly how I felt when it happened to me. I haven’t a clue of what she is experiencing right now, but I’m pretty sure it’s hell.

This weekend, I decided to put together some gifts for her because at this time, words are clumsy. There’s no advice. No magic wand that can given her a short cut. Time WILL make things better, but the question is “How much?”. In her case, their love will last until the 12th of never, and that’s a long, long time.

Remembering back to April 2020, there were some things that kept me moving forward. They weren’t given to me through the advice of a counselor. All the grief specialists were hiding behind their locked doors, fearing the virus. They were little things I dreamed up that worked.

My first comfort, then and forever more, has been God. Plain and simple. God. I began studying the Bible. The most fascinating book on the planet. Real miracles changed my life after I was baptized December 12, 2021.

There were earthly rituals and items that helped, as well.

This very friend, now in anguish and shock gave me a special gift when I was a new widow. A garden angel that would light the night. For four years, this solar angel has glowed throughout the night, reminding me that real angels surround my life and keep me safe.

Another friend had given me a solar rainbow-maker for my window. Just when I’d least expect it, little rainbows would appear throughout the house. Little promises that life won’t remain dark and daunting.

For twelve long months, released balloons on 8th day of the month at 10:30 AM. You’d find me on the back lawn crying as I watched balloons ascend towards the heavens. Each month, there’d be one more added to the bunch. Making my fingers release the string became easier with time. 111 balloons released over 365 days carried a lot of grief heavenward.

I bought very soft, comfy pajamas in which to quarantine and hermitize. In some ways, Covid came at the perfect time for me. There didn’t need to be an excuse to stay home and avoid others. It was provided by the government. In those early days, I spent time unpacking and organizing, two chores that showed obvious results. About the only two things I could control as I started on my journey as one.

I chose a focus word a month. Single words described my life with VST. Friendship. Love. Adventure. Each time I became overwhelmed, the word of the month would remind me of countless memories, all precious and cherished. After remembering all the reasons I chose the word, I’d feel better and could continue on.

Each month, I bought one Christmas gift that represented the monthly word. On Christmas Eve, 2020, VST and I shared a private party. I’d written a letter to myself each month which reflected a life headed on a healthy journey.

Writing is life. Remember that. I journaled. Even if I had nothing to report on but the weather, I journaled. The time I got up. The time I went to bed. Everything in between. It’s all there. Some of it is cringeworthy. Other bits hilarious. There are a few books wrapped up in those journals that are neatly tucked away, unlike Grievinggardener.com, which also helped.

Yesterday, I filled a bag for my friend with items to help her begin her journey. Included was the little garden angel. She has a new job watching over her rightful owner. I put a ribbon on the rainbow maker, because everyone needs a promise of hope during their darkest days. A soft comfy nightgown will warm her on the crisp fall nights. A journal and pretty pen will help her put her thoughts on paper. And finally, a canister of helium and a box of tissues.

The sadness I feel for her is deep. Sometimes, it’s necessary to do something because nothing else that can be done. Right?

Whatever you do today, contact one widow and brighten her day. Tell her a new joke. Find out the latest news on her end. Spend time listening to her. Let her know you love her. Widowhood isn’t for the faint of heart. It takes courage, fortitude, resilience, and a community of best friends.

More tomorrow.