Grieving Gardener

Just days before the wedding, we were so blessed to have visitors that came to celebrate. Not just any visitors, but HAPPY visitors that had nothing buy smiles about our impending wedding, just days away. Even better, the visitors included my oldest son and his family from Michigan, and my best friend in the world and matron of Honor, CC.

Looking back, nerves were rampant on that Thursday night when everyone arrived. With HHH’s help, we decided on a favorite meal of BBQed hamburgers, ranch-style beans and chips.

That night, we served eleven hungry travelers, while catching up on all the news. There’s nothing better than hugging a grown son and daughter-in-law while enjoying the antics of three busy grandchildren. CC’s watched my kids grow up since 1979, when we were all babies. A long and wonderful friendship between two women has flourished as we’ve shared everything life has thrown their way.

After serving dinner, HHH left early to catch the end of Thursday night football. The Michigan group left to settle into their hotel, while CC and I were left to visit and plan for Friday’s activities.

All this happened within the walls of Winterpast. Thinking back to my first days of widowhood, it was Winterpast that kept me focused. April blooms were waking when I picked up the key and closed the door behind me. My own secret garden. A place to fall face first in a luscious lawn and cry. A place to mourn and heal. Now, a place to welcome my new groom and life as a wife. Winterpast has been with me through it all.

A house holds love and loss from the past, as well. When I look around at her walls and doors, it’s obvious that during her 20 years, she’s been respected and loved. It takes a lot of work to keep a 20 year old home looking like new, and like her present occupants, she’s now entering her prime.

With a whirlwind of activities the next day, I can truly say that I don’t remember much. There were details about the flowers and food to check. More guests arrived. Another bestie arrived with her husband from Central California. California guests arrived to check into their rooms in the biggest little city to the West. My son and grandchildren went treasure hunting in the desert.

All the while, my rock, Miss CC, kept me focused and grounded. When the nerves started to rattle me a bit, I’d just remember the reason for the entire event. My HHH would be standing at the end of a very long aisle waiting for me. That thought alone was enough to settle any new-bride jitters.

Friday evening, Chef KFC provided dinner for our hungry crew of 15. Sadly, KFC isn’t what it used to be. Arriving cold, we really could have done better ourselves. 1/4 cup of cold slaw cost $3. Stale biscuits. Fake butter. In what world is that okay? The chicken was hours old, wet, and greasy. And yet, no one noticed that our $100 chicken dinner was less than delicious. At least the, empty containers showed everyone ate.

That night was the last time I kissed HHH goodnight as his “girlfriend”. The next time I’d see him was at the church where the music would play as I walked down the aisle into my new life. Everything would change in 24 hours, as everything has a habit of doing.

During my short and fabulous engagement, I remember some people emphatically insisting they’d never marry. There were days in widowhood that I said the very same thing. Getting married is like moving in some ways. You start out with all your possessions in orderly boxes. When you get to your destination, things you held dear have no purpose. It’s necessary to rearrange a lot to make everything work. In the end, the new looks nothing like the old. Marriage is the same, except you’re the box and the contents include emotions and habits. In our case, it’s chaotic, but working well!

Those fiends of mine that have chosen a solitary path are happy and content. It takes strength, courage, commitment, and beauty to embrace life and continue on and widowhood, whether newly married or happily single. Choosing Happiness along the way is am important key to contentment.

HHH and I are enjoying our new life as a married couple. In a few days, we’ll celebrate our first month together. It’s hard to believe that so much has changed in just a few short weeks. Next month, I’ll legally change my name, which will take hours of patience while waiting in long lines at Social Security and DMV. Plenty of time to reflect on the many blessings I received when this wonderful man answered the first question of many.

Whatever you do today, enjoy this season. Try a new recipe. Binge on a new television series. Watch some old movies. Plan a pajama day. Do all these things while remembering the blessings that you find in your life ever single day. They’re all around you. Just look for them.

More tomorrow.

Update! After a crazy day in which my lighting issues are finally fixed, I’m need to draw from the past this morning.

I smile when I read this post written some time ago. At that time, I’d look up each IP number to identify locations of my readers. I stopped when I hit 80 countries finally believing that I AM read in many distant place. As of today, my number of reads is 812,875 and growing. From wherever you read, please know I send you love, peace, and hope for healing.

Writin’ my life to save my soul on a desert’s Nevada road,

A friendly stranger came around to share apple pie ala mode.

If you’re goin’ to stick around for awhile and keep me satisfied,

You can sit and listen while I write all about my sad old life.

He asked me if I had been alone long, in my house on dust and sand

And I replied I ‘d lots of friends, “I’m read everywhere across this land.”

I’m read everywhere, man.

I’m read everywhere, man.

Wrote in the desert’s bare, man.

Of troubles I’ve had my share, man.

I’ve cried in the mountain air, man,

Of troubles I’ve had my share man.

I’m read everywhere.

I’m read in

Belgium, Australia, Brazil, Czech Republic, Bangladesh, Canada, China, Indonesia, Bosnia, Egypt, Germany, Lithuania, Denmark, India, Ireland, Saudi Arabia, Finland, Hungary , Malaysia, Netherlands, United Kingdom, Virgin Islands, and France.
Fans, they’re readin’.

This new friend now listened, quiet, while country names raced off my lips.

Bushy eyebrows raised a tiny bit, while on me he quite transfixed.

With grief this gard’ner told my tale, death’s horror never rang truer.

He listened awhile, at him I gazed; his eyes, bluer and bluer.

I’m read everywhere, man,

I’m read everywhere, man,

I’ve cried in the mountain air, man.

Of troubles I’ve had my share, man.

I’m read everywhere.

I’m read in

France, Greece, Japan, Jordan, Hong Kong, Korea, Mauritius, Moldova, Morocco, North Macedonia, Pakistan, Peru, Philippines, Poland, Portugal, Russia, Romania, Serbia, Singapore, South Africa, Sri Lanka, Sweden, Taiwan, Turkey, Ukraine, United States, Uruguay, Vietnam. Everywhere, and there, the fan’s, they’re readin’.

I’m read everywhere, man. I’m read everywhere.

He started reading, he now hooked. I, on display, an open book.

Two months pass, friendship grows each day, two hearts liking each other’s ways,

The stories real with Winter past, new tales to write are coming fast.

For all my friends around the world, You mean so much to this old girl.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to the 6900 readers that have taken time to support me in my writing. Your sweet comments have made me realize I AM a writer. This has made my life long dream come alive!!! If I have missed your country, please send me a comment and let me know.

I send my love to you and all your beautiful countries. Joy

A special tip of my gardener’s hat to Johnny Cash who inspired this piece.

More tomorrow.

It’s been over three weeks since Hubba-Hubba-Hubby and I exchanged vows. Already, his list of “Honey-Do’s” is overflowing. Along with the move, he is working around the clock to fix all the things that haven’t been working right for some time.

Included but not limited to the list are non-working dimmer switches, a broken medicine cabinet, a dripping faucet, and a vent on the green house that won’t hold. Of course, there are minor little things, like a request to shift the bedroom furniture. So many things that, as an older woman, I wasn’t able to handle on my own. Here is HHH to the rescue. He barely has time for football these days. Thank goodness for the “pause” feature on the remote.

After having such high hopes for Alexa and her ability to help, she is quickly being dumped by the wayside. Two’s company and three’s a crowd. It seems that once Alexa loses her ability to connect to dimmer switches, the fun is over. My Alexa plugs no longer respond. My dimmable lights are now on their brightest setting. All in all, Alexa isn’t helpful, and at some point, she’s downright obnoxious.

When HHH finally took the last of the furniture out of his house, his Alexa threw a tantrum and started glowing red. No kidding. She was none to happy to be abandoned in an empty house. Well, we’ll see how she likes being sent to the Man Cave that HHH is planning in the RV Barn. Lucky her that she’ll have a roof over her head. And so it goes with artificial intelligence. The conventional way of controlling life is so much better.

With everything else that’s been going on, we’ve also been working on our “Thank You” cards. In a normal world, that job would fall to the nesting bride, but not here at Winterpast. HHH has been ready with pen in hand to do his part, thanking everyone that helped us celebrate our wedding day! We received the most beautiful gifts. From an outdoor Flamingo light to the most beautiful crystal platter, we’ve been sending a few “Thank You” cards each day.

As at any wedding, we did receive one gift without its card. We have no way of knowing who gifted us the gorgeous crystal platter covered in roses. So fitting for us, this platter is covered with our favorite flower! If it was from you, please let us know. We LOVE it!!!!

Over the weekend, we got a call from my God Mother, Miss TJ. She just wanted to tell us “Thank You” for the card HHH spent time writing. Never had she ever received a “Thank You” card in which the groom had written a message along with the bride. Well, we just roll that way. It was fun to fill her in on the wedding and our amazing vacation through the wild west complete with bison, bear, and elk.

Writing “Thank You” cards gave me a chance to acknowledge some beautiful women in Ashton, Idaho that made a memory on our trip. I’d taken time to write “Just Married” on our new luxury car much to HHH’s initial dismay. Once we got on the road, he realized how much fun it could be. Seriously. If you just want to have a little excitement in life, write “Just Married” on your window and go for a drive. You’ll meet people that want nothing more than to wish you well.

The women in Ashton were the co-owners of “The Frostop” on Highway 20. If you ever happen by there, you MUST stop and try their food. Amazing ladies have fun coming out to customers to take orders and deliver food right to the car door. Yes. They were both crying when we told them our story and showed them our rings. They needed a “Thank You” for brightening our day.

With all the “Thank You” cards done, our next wedding task will be to sort through pictures, keeping the best ones for an album. Remembering back to our special day, I’ve never attended a wedding more unique, inviting, and full of love. In reviewing the pictures, it made us feel good to see all the smiles as we made memories of our first evening as husband and wife. It just doesn’t get better than that.

Whatever you do today, if you’ve just received gifts for any reason, don’t forget that it’s proper to send an “Thank You”. It’s rude to receive a gift and forget to thank the giver and it’s never too late.

More tomorrow.

Monday, August 28, 2022 is a day I’ll never forget. Although not my first adventure in dating as a senior citizen, it would turn out to be the sweetest and most definitely the last time I’d meet someone new. On this day, I noticed the cutest profile on an internet dating site. Twinkling eyes, fit and trim, there was something special about his smile. Most of his profile pictures were of outdoor adventures involving fish.

Now, there’s a dark secret I’ve never blogged about until now. I. HATE. FISH. Hate the smell. The texture. Even the thought of their bodies gasping as they’re pulled from the depths. Every second year, I might decide to try fish, but it never goes well with always the same result.

I. HATE. FISH.

But, here was this adorable fisherman holding an odd fish I couldn’t identify. Along with the fishing pictures, there was another that caught my eye. Although not fish-related, this same man was standing, arm-in-arm, with two young people. I could only assume at that point these must be the grandchildren that put him up to the idea of internet dating.

Returning time and again to this man’s profile, there was just something telling me to reach out. And so, I did.

I sent a smile.

Nothing.

I sent a “Thumb’s Up”.

Nothing.

I sent a heart emoji.

Still nothing.

Hmmmm.

This man just might be too wild for me.

I’d never seen him around town, so it was doubtful we had friends in common. I doubt any of my Bible Study friends would be interested in helping me identify this cutie-patootie. I was on my own on this quest.

Finally, with nothing left to lose, I’d send him a question about the mysterious fish in the picture. Fishing pictures are often deceiving. Hold a fish closer to the camera and it can look “whale-like”. Stand further away, it can have the appearance of a large minnow. There was no other choice. I had a burning question that needed answering.

It did take a short time for him to answer. Any true fisherman can be reeled-in with questions regarding his most prized catch. He tried his best to resist answering and with good reason.

My profile pictures were not those taken when I was 30 and truly beautiful. They weren’t of me at the beach in a string bikini or even of my outrageous summer tan of 2022. In one I was wearing my black and white teacher dress while holding my new set of Craftsman Tools. The others were without makeup and in my serious, horn-rimmed reading glasses. All featured my smile, but not all were the most flattering. In fact, I wouldn’t have responded to these pictures, except for the fact that they reflected someone real.

But, my Hubba-Hubba-Husband took a chance on that Monday in August of 2022. Tired and not really in the mood to try another relationship, as he healed from a long journey through widowerhood, he decided that my question needed the proper answer. It all started there.

For that reason alone, I just might need to learn how to fish under his careful eye. I might need to take a bite of freshly caught trout eaten under a star-lit sky on our first camping trip together. I might need to try Macadamia-encrusted Mahi Mahi on the beach in Hawaii. Or some other type of fish as we cruise the waters off the coast of Mexico.

Of course, my question WAS irresistible. Why wouldn’t it be? Words are LIFE. It required an honest and in-depth answer that led to hours of conversation and a first date during which he cooked a gourmet meal (including fresh fish) for me at his beautiful home. Two strangers that weren’t strange at all, but just very tired of being lonely while being alone.

The days, weeks, and months unfolded until, on August 28 2023, he asked the burning question that came deep from his heart. Of course, now you know my answer to that one. YES, for that day and to the end of our forever. YES.

But, what question could I possibly have asked that would’ve been so intriguing? Beguiling? Irresistible? There was only one possibility. Please don’t judge. It was the best one I could come up with.

“So….

Just how big is your fish?”

The rest unfolded into our adorably sweet love story, the details of which you need to stay tuned to learn.

Whatever you do today, don’t judge widowed people on their journey to start the next chapter in life. At 64, it took courage, independence and guts to make it through four lonely summers as one solitary woman. Why would an courage, independent, and gutsy 67 year old woman marry? She finally met the right guy. I assure you, waiting for HHH made every twist and turn in the road worth it!

More tomorrow.

Another day of moving is done with not much left except a little bit of this and a little bit of that. In each room at HHH’s beautiful home, there are those items that haven’t made the cut. Now, decisions need to be made about whether things are wants or needs. This is occurring at Winterpast, as well. It seems that the more I clean and purge the more things appear that need cleaning and purging.

Yesterday, our pantry became the focal point. As a bachelorette, I didn’t focus on being prepared for nightly dinners. Breakfast might’ve been a bowl of cereal. If needed, I’d run to the Tee Pee Bar and Grill for a quick burger at lunch and call it good. As long as the pantry was stocked with plenty of chips and dip, I was perfectly happy. Of course, I always kept chicken noodle soup on hand for the occasional cold.

With a tiny pantry for two, the need for more room became obvious. HHH has nifty wire shelves that he attached to the inside of his door, immediately increasing storage space. The first problem is that my pantry door is glass, not wood. The second hiccup is that my shelves need to be 24″ wide and the hardware store only sells the 18″ variety. Amazon always comes to the rescue when you need them.

The second problem is that I have a glass pantry door. Everything on the shelves and the shelves themselves would look pretty tacky through the glass. With a little more thought, my cupboard door is transparent no more. A covering of thick paper did the trick, almost looking like it was meant to be that way. Problem solved, the shelving will go up today!

Hubba-Hubba-Hubby has changed me over the last year. One thing I came to admire early in our relationship was that HHH would always have dinner planned. Usually a great dinner, freshly cooked or grilled, and always balanced. As a life-long athlete, his meals are always nutritious and delicious. Slowly, I’m beginning to love cooking as much as watching the world series and football.

After a full day of moving, when asked about last night’s plans for dinner, the answer was simple. Filet Mignon, grilled mushrooms, home-grown baked potatoes, fresh broccoli, and ice-cream sundaes for dessert. It just doesn’t get better than that.

Tonight, you’ll find me roasting Cornish game hens, stuffed with onions and celery and slathered with a rub of lemon-pepper, basil, poultry seasoning, and olive oil. With that, we’ll enjoy those hens with mushroom rice (from scratch, not a box) and a fresh garden salad. The cuisine is now excellent here at Winterpast.

HHH makes everything a special adventure. Want to plant some bulbs? By the time you turn the first shovel of dirt, HHH will have you so excited, you can’t help but want to plant 15 more. He’s got a unique and positive way of looking at every day life. There isn’t anything that can’t be fixed or rearranged to make things better. I love him deeply for his endearing quality of positivity.

As we settle into our married life, HHH continues to support and encourage my writing. Even though writing requires long stretches in which I need to remain focused in thought, he remains patient and quiet until the computer clicks off. I find writing while he’s watching the morning news is just about the most calming feeling in the world. I guess that’s one of the reasons we’re such a great match.

This weekend, we have two strong Navy seamen to come help us move the last of the heavy furniture. At Saturday’s end, we’ll finally have a couch and love seat in our very own living room. We’ll also have two guest rooms set up for drop in company. Then, it will be time to fine tune, hang pictures, and unpack for the holidays. Life is just one big stack of boxes these days.

Through all of this, Wookie and Oliver have been pretty darn good. They love being together all the time and don’t have so many frenzied moments of zoomies as they greet each other. They are still guilty of fence barking, which remains a focus of their training at this point. Both are pretty darn mouthy, but sincerely trying to do better.

Whatever you do this weekend, try to get outside for a bit. Autumn is such a lovely time of year. So, put on a jacket and go for a walk. As for us, we’ll continue handling the dregs of moving. Don’t forget to turn your clocks back tomorrow night! It’s only the best day of the year! An extra hour of sleep!

I’ll be back Monday to share stories of the wedding and more! Happy Friday!!!!!

Everything can be going along fine. Just fine. Even breath-takingly fine! And then, with the ingenuity of Ghanaian’s (those from Ghana), that sense of safety and “fine-ness” can be shaken to its core. If you’ve never been hacked, count yourself as a very lucky person. If you’ve never been rolled by a Ghanaian, count yourself even luckier. Here’s my cautionary tale of woe.

I’m an Airbnb gal. I’ve used this service many times before, always finding the cutest little places to stay with the kindest of hosts. From my limited experiences, the pictures have been exactly what I’ve received upon arrival. I’ve found things sparkling clean and the hosts ready with helpful hints about surrounding activities and things to see.

On our honeymoon, we were lucky enough to rent a tiny little cabin in West Yellowstone. A gem of a find, it’d been recently renovated. Everything was squeaky clean, which is hard to accomplish when one owns a cabin. I know, having owned my own for a short time.

Our host, Michelle, carefully laid out the rules and regulations, along with sending best wishes for our honeymoon. There was everything a young-ish newly married couple would need. We made morning breakfasts in a teeny tiny little kitchen complete with a toaster, pots and pans, and silverware. You get the idea. Airbnb’s can be much better than a hotel room for two honeymooners.

Since then, I’ve already booked a house for Valentine’s Day, and was looking for another fun place to visit in the next few weeks when disaster hit. by Ghanaian hackers, I was booked at a resort. Not just any resort, but a resort with a PARTIAL down-payment of $599.00 for November 5th-10th for a place that offered a boathouse complete with ski boat. It was Cabin #2 of 5. I was given the address and complete instructions on how to get THERE.

One little problem.

THERE just happened to be in GHANA.

The hackers were in the process of booking massages when I discovered the “Non-refundable” charges. There I was, chatting away with some guy in Ghana about the most delightful times to enjoy spa treatments for me and my friends. To say my eyes were hemorrhaging was an understatement. With a immediate call to my bank to cancel the credit card, and a ringy-dingy to Airbnb, the hackers were stopped in their tracks.

Or so I thought.

About an hour later, I received a call seemingly from Oklahoma. It was the hacker, who assured me he wasn’t a terrible person, but only helping me because all my information is now on the dark web. Really. Isn’t that just a wedding present beyond belief????? I slammed it in his ear. Most likely he is sitting in some tree in Ghana trying to find some scared little woman to scam. Not me, Buster Brown.

Blocked his number right back to Ghana.

Oy.

Vey.

After canceling my card and ordering a new one, changing all the accounts that charges that card, and having a heart-to-heart with Airbnb, I then found my email was also hacked. All this involved a day of frustration while repairing the hack . Thank goodness I’ve got the most loving new groom to hold my hand and tell me everything would be fixed. And, it is.

I’ve no information on how these people got into my account. I cannot understand how evil people get away with so much theft and corruption at the hands of the innocent. I have learned some valuable lessons and have some suggestions.

If at all possible, use a credit card with a very low limit with which to book trips or shop on Amazon. Be sure to use ever single security tool your site offers. If they want you to change your password once a month, do it. Check your bank account on a daily basis, making sure all charges are yours. The very minute that there is a problem, start taking down names, numbers, and notes. Document everything, and in the end, everything will be fixed.

A big thanks to my bank and Airbnb. So many times, these huge companies are demonized. They handled the crooks and will be investigating further. The associates that helped me were kind and detail oriented.

On top of the on-going move, I must admit I’m a bit frazzled at the moment. I had a perfectly clean studio awaiting a gorgeous oak bedroom set. Now, I have a clean kitchen and dining room, with all the overflow moved into the studio. Moving does put me in mind of sliding puzzles I played with as a child. Things move this way and that until finally, everything has a place or is discarded. Heaven only knows how bad it would be without my Lovely Lobster Talisman.

Whatever you do today, don’t let the fear of hacking keep you from dreaming about a little trip somewhere. Airbnb is such a fun way to visit new places. Even after this horrendous little nightmare, I can’t wait until our first Valentine’s Day as husband and wife. I’m already planning and it will be wonderful. And no, Ghana isn’t on the list.

Happy November!!!

It all started out with the perfect plan. Yesterday was to be the first quiet day we would’ve enjoy in weeks. Just a simple day of retirement starring the two newlyweds. The plan was quite an easy one. We’d practice being lazy. Stay in jammies all day. Watch a movie or two. Prepare for Halloween. That would be our goal, even though Winterpast is in total disarray with boxes stacked to the rafters. We’d ignore the mess for one day.

Closing our eyes to immediate sleep, we opened them a bit later than usual. The clock showed 5:15 AM when I got my first cuppa and went to our desk to write. Early risers, both, we’re also very quiet morning people. With the news playing softly in the background, I blogged. Writing comes as naturally now as when I used to write with my only company being Oliver as he snored at my feet. The day’s plans were unfolding perfectly.

Around 8AM, I made us a hearty breakfast of bacon and eggs. After that, I refilled our cookie jar with Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies made with semi-sweet and milk chocolate chips from scratch. A still lazy HHH inquired about the delicious aroma wafting in the kitchen.

Then, the fun began. With our brand-new freezer at the proper temperature of 6F, we decided to move all our frozen foods to their new home. I cannot tell you what fun we had organizing our combined frozens on the proper shelves. It was during this time I realized we both have meat hoarding tendencies. It’s delightful to open the door to see a vast array of available food ready for our nightly dinners.

A bit of Autumn advice. It’s a great time of year to go through your pantry. Inspect the expiration dates on each item and discard the old, while keeping a replacement list. The oldest thing we found had expired in 2016. Some things never expire, no matter the date. Dried beans, rice, or pasta to list a few. But, other things should go. Be on the look out for dented cans or bottles of liquid that have collected sediment in the bottom. Food poisoning isn’t a way we want to start wedded bliss.

With much sorting and purging, our kitchen is coming together. A new set of Ninja Never-Stick pots and pans that arrived, requiring unpacking and storage space. By then, the day was half over.

No jammies.

No movies.

No cuddling on the couch.

Just a suggestion that it would be nice to bring another load of belongings to Winterpast. With both of us agreeing it was totally necessary, off we went across town. Sixteen boxes and a load of clothes later, we decided that a pizza created by Chef “Papa Murphy” would be delicious followed by and ice cream desert created by Chef Steve.

With all the boxes needing unloading, we finished as we were greeted by Wookie and Oliver who both wondered just WHEN we might be thinking about giving them their dinner. Dogs are the best when it comes to helping us humans remember to stop and eat.

All in all, our quiet day of relaxation didn’t unfold the way we’d imagined. And yet, the best days are often spontaneous. The kids got a great brushing from Dad-Oh, while Mom-Oh went to work organizing late into the night. With continued work, Winterpast will again be orderly, just in time for our first Thanksgiving as a married couple.

As for moving, it’s exhausting and rewarding all at the same time. I had forgotten how much fun it is to be married to someone you like more than anyone else in the world. No matter what mundane tasks of life arise, if you’re with your bestie, it can’t help but be a great time.

By the way, Halloween was a bust in our neighborhood. We had only three littles that were brave enough to ring the bell. YES, we did buy candy especially for the event, and YES, we did leave the light on. The cold temperatures must have kept them away.

Whatever you do today, be thankful that you aren’t in the middle of a move. If you are moving, take a day off and don’t work through it like we did. Getting married and moving are two of life’s greatest stressors. Self-care, Pizza, and an ice cream sundae are essential to get through.

****** Today is the first day of “National Write A Novel Month”, more fondly referred to as NaNoWriMo. Here’s the plan. You write 1500 words a day for the month and you have a novel. There are no other rules than to write. Please look up their website for more information. I’m starting today. Happy writing.

More tomorrow.

If only moving was effortless! The Mrs. in the pic doesn’t seem to have a sore back or tired arms like we do.

Our move is in full swing with my Hubba-Hubba-Husband doing the heavy lifting while leaving the unpacking to me. Unpacking can be fun if the things you are unpacking weren’t just packed up the day before. In this case, the boxes unpacked yesterday held the content of one kitchen which is being moved to another.

Under the watchful eye of the most adorable little kitchen talisman made from a true Maine Lobster claw, no fragile items have been broken. Ten kitchen boxes have been unpacked, with the contents run through the dishwasher and placed in new cupboards. I’m pretty lucky to be acquiring new gadgets whose purpose HHH will demonstrate.

HHH is our Master Chef. Each morning, he peruses recipes on Facebook to find the right one for our dinner. He thinks nothing of dropping everything to run to Walmart for one missing item. He SINGS in the kitchen, yes he does! With a dreamy voice, he gets lost as he dances in the delicious aromas he creates. Am I Dreaming????? This is the best. EVER!!!!

Every Master Chef needs lots of pantry and freezer storage. With a purging of some wonderful cabinets, our garage storage is ready for the winter. The new upright freezer arrived yesterday, complete with the internal temperature on the door. For those garden parties for 40, the freezer can be turned into a giant refrigerator. Never have I ever seen a convertible freezer/refrigerator and now, we own one chilled to 6 degrees per the chef’s orders.

Of course, living alone for so long, I never never a second refrigerator or freezer in the garage. As far as I’m concerned, this honeymooner will enjoy every single snow, hoping for the one that renders us housebound. We’ll be prepared.

We’ve transported the 2023 potato crop to Winterpast. From HHH’s garden, we harvested 30 pounds of Russets, Yukon Gold, and Baby Reds. Growing potatoes was a garden highlight, for sure. If you haven’t attempted this, you must. The plants themselves are beautiful, but harvesting is even better. You just never know what lays just below the surface. These potatoes taste like no others.

From another mover across town, HHH scored on a stash of canning jars. All sizes. Next year, we’ll be gardening with purpose as we grow our own food. It doesn’t get better than that. The old apricot, Granny Smith apple, plum, and pear trees, and blue berry bushhad better sleep well. We’ll be depending on them next year.

There are some things that will stay behind. HHH’s favorite peach and nectarine trees. His grape vines. The cutest yard and garden areas. All will be left for the new renters enjoyment. And just like that, we are a married couple of two with our very own rental over which to fret.

Wookie and Oliver are a bit perplexed by the events of the last few weeks. We are home for a short time, leave, and then return with boxes. It’s all been very strange for them since Mom-Oh and Dad began walking around with beautiful new wedding rings. This move can’t go on forever, and then things will settle down.

Today is the second Halloween we’ll treat the kids to candy. Last year, we were across town at HHH’s house. It’s always fun to see the costumed littles as they brave the long walk to the front door. This year, the temperatures are really low with a current temp of 28F. Once the sun sets, it’s downright cold. We’ll see how many littles come to Winterpast. The porch light will be on for the first time since April 2020.

As we combine two homes, there are so many things that we no longer need. Currently, we have four bedroom sets and only three rooms in which to place them. We have two dining room sets with only one dining room. And so it goes with every room in the house. As things have happened so many times in the last year, another happy accident occurred.

After no inquiries on a perfectly good queen size bed, frame, dresser, chair, and bedding, HHH called the thrift store to come retrieve everything. We’d no sooner made the decision and placed the call and we received a call from The Mayor.

A family member signed necessary paperwork to lease an apartment yesterday. As it turns out, they’re just starting out in life and need everything. Quick as a cricket, we set them up in fine style. One bedroom, a love seat, AND a dining room table. They had strong bodies, a truck, and trailer with which move the items. A great combination resulting in room for our new guest bedroom room set! Win-Win!

As the World Series continue, it’s a lovely time to chase dust bunnies and then cuddle in with HHH. I can say that married life has been adorably sweet and comfy. It’s wonderful to laugh and talk with my best friend. I’d forgotten how much I’d missed companionship while talking about life late into the night.

With the new changes to my blog site AND all the other activities, I’m turning in early these days. Fall is such a lovely time of year to be a new bride in love.

I’ll be back tomorrow with the latest.

Happy Halloween!!

What amazing things have happened in the days in which I’ve been absent. The most life altering change is that I’ve married a most wonderful man, perfect for me in the most imperfect ways. To consider myself blessed is an understatement. Happiness has come to live at Winterpast in stacks of boxes and new belongings.

While being in the middle of the organized chaos of a move, life has been a whirlwind including the World Series, packing tape, and two dogs that have taken up fence barking with the neighbor’s dogs. No more the quiet and mundane life of the past, things are ripping around here like the King Tides of the central coast.

I promise I’ll get to the details leading up to the big event, however, I want to start with a quiet little story about the rings. During the honeymoon, the story about our wedding rings brought a tear to the eye of one or two. Perfect for the first day back at the keyboard.

When my Hubba-Hubba-Hubby (now HHH, formally known as My Mysterious Marine and Fabulous Fiancé) first proposed, we were a little stumped. If you’ve just happened to look for wedding rings, you know. If not, trust me, it’s a daunting task. Diamonds or another precious stone? Gold, titanium, or something else? Tattooed rings? The list is endless.

Both HHH and I enjoyed long and beautiful marriages to high school sweeties before cancer and COPD changed all that. Those relationships made us into two people that fell in love over the last year. Two heavenly angels now watch over us and might’ve even had a lot to do with us ending up together. We’d like to believe that they’re dancing a jig in heaven celebrating that we’ve found earthly companions with whom to continue our journey.

After becoming a widow and widower, there were many times we thought about what should be done with the rings that remained. Sell them? Gift them to family? Make them into something else? Nothing seemed right for either of us so they sat in jewelry boxes at two different houses in the same town.

After thinking about the situation, we decided the rings were a symbol of the wonderful lives we shared with former spouses. They were also a statement about the people we’d become during those relationships. What better materials from which to create rings that will be with us until we die?

And so, the plan came together.

HHH just happened to know a guy that just happened to be an amazing jeweler who just happened to be married to a jewelry design genius. Together, like old friends, the four of us sat together at their little shop and visited while a design was drawn on paper with pencil. From there, the wax prototypes were created for our approval. In a month, the real rings were ready to be picked up. I will tell you, they are blindingly spectacular.

By using our past, we created a present that we’ll enjoy long into the future. The love embedded in the gold was there long before I ever said my vows to the most handsome guy standing at the end of a very long aisle.

In the first days of our married life, we’ve found it delightful to ride around in a luxury car with painted windows. “Just Married”. “J Loves B 4-ever”. “He asked and she said “Yes””. With those few words written in white paint, the waves, honks, and well wishes have warmed our hearts. We have made more than a few people tear up as they’ve listened to our love story while sharing their own.

In the next weeks, the plan is coming together. Grievinggardener.com will remain to help those just entering the nightmare of widowhood. From the sadness, loneliness, and grief, good things can again grow. Just as the devastation remaining after a forest fire, with rains, sunshine, and the passing of time, new life comes. So it is with the journey of widowhood.

In the next months, look for a new blog that will chronicle life as a 67 year old bride. It isn’t for the weak or timid, I can assure you of that.

Whatever you do today, reflect on the first days of your own married life while remembering the beauty and fragile nature of a new marriage. That’s where HHH and now I stand as we enjoy things like Thursday Night Football and the World Series. Our Winter has past. There is so much to celebrate. I’ll tell you more tomorrow.

Working on fall cleaning late last night, I found my own space has changed so much in the last four Autumns. I spend much less time watching movies in “Zero Gravity”, floating in the weightlessness of self pity. Nope. No more of that. This woman has things to do and places to go. I’ve chosen a purposeful course of action with my eyes focused forward instead of looking down.

There is now an empty dresser in my room in which my new husband will place his belongings. There is an empty side of the closet that will hold his clothes. Every part of Winterpast is different now. That frightened young widow of 17 days who stood next to the empty pantry shuddering in sobs is healed.

During those years of self discovery, there was something that only a widow or widower understands. I was A-L-0-N-E. Before baptism and spiritual rebirth, I was in an even darker place of loneliness. For widows everywhere, my heart breaks for you. Although I only know my grief experience, I know I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. No matter how its described, its thousands of times worse and then some.

In the beginning, VST was everywhere here at Winterpast. On every wall and counter, there were pictures anchoring me to 32 years of marriage. So blessed when I met him at our class reunion, I can honestly say, we saved each other. No matter the ups and downs of married life, we were safe together. And then, the only together left was photos and old cards.

Over time, everything has changed. Winterpast is a reflection of the woman I’ve become. Although still alone, I’ve filled the void making friends with myself. That took a little doing, as I realized there were things about myself I didn’t much care for. Things I was angry about. Things I needed to change. So, with God’s help, I did.

When I remembered who I was, things changed. For the better. I stopped accepting poor treatment from others. I learned to try new things while realizing simple truths like “I hate mayonnaise now and forever more.” Somethings will never change and I learned that’s okay, too.

A little over one year ago, a wonderful guy came into my life. He lives just six miles away in a grey and white house that helped him heal. He’d lost his high school sweetheart AND his beloved dog of 16 years. He was A-L-O-N-E, as only a widow or widower can understand. He spent the same four autumns purposely changing. He painted. He gardened. He softened his heart to the Lord. He prayed. And, he found me.

Everything has changed just as everything always does. When the nights are the loneliest and the days so dark you wonder where the sun went, just keep going. Make one little, tiny change. And then another. Pretty soon, you’ll be on the road to better. Don’t miss that turn towards “Happy”. Sometimes, it’s lost behind the trees, but trust me on this, it’s there.

For the next bit of time, I’ll be a laughing, crying, doubting, embracing, quivering, shivering, bitching, forgiving, loving, sleepless, nightmare-plagued, cranky, coffee-guzzling, detail-oriented bride. One minute I’ll be singing songs from The Sound of Music, and the next minute, I’m sure I won’t have a voice at all.

By THE DAY, I’ll have ordered every possible evening dress in THE certain desired color, only to have returned them all, except one. THE DRESS. I’ll have spent time with the people in this world that I love the most. And then, I’ll walk down a very short aisle that will seem like a million miles. I’ll only make it to the end because there will stand a man with the most beautiful blue eyes waiting to take my hand. And there, the first chapter of our life’s story together will begin.

I’ll be back on October 30th. By then, I’ll have a new last name and be enjoying the honeymoon year of our new marriage. Shortly after, there’ll be some changes. I can no longer be writing as the Grieving Gardener, as I’ll certainly be Glowing and Grinning. My Mysterious Marine and Fabulous Fiancé (MMFF) will have a new name, already selected. Come back on the 30th to find out all the news! Just embrace it. Everything Changes!