Author: Joy Hurt

Wow. I sneezed and it’s January 11th. During retirement I thought time would slow but it seems to have done the opposite. Although up and writing today, I’m still not 100%. I’ve been enjoying movies, chicken soup, orange juice, and lots of naps. Today I need to move my brain and body towards normal.

A few bored days ago I wasn’t feeling well enough to write for an hour or two in my drafty studio. Not quite up to reading a novel, I wanted something to do. Daily journaling has become a part of my life. Like a best friend of the “No-Tell” kind, I vent about whatever has driven me mad, made me cry, or brought me to my knees. There are also boring little repetitions about feeding Oliver or the time I rise each morning. Just stuff that I find important at the time I wrote.

Journal One, August, 2020. Reading along, day by day, I revisited my early widowhood wondering where that version of me found the strength to pick up a pencil, let alone life. Grief soaked pages told of a long and arduous journey full of adventure and great memories. These journals speak of flags planted along the way. Milestones. Successes. Failures. My journals are a place feelings of one day are vented and forgotten the next. But when read one page after the other, a mural of this new woman appeared. As I’ve grown, the new me is a reflection of the decisions I’ve made along the way. Thank goodness I like who I’ve become today.

Want to journal for yourself? Here are some tips to help you get started.

1. Find a comfortable spot to journal in a quiet area. Hate quiet? Find a chaotic place. People are different. Find a place that works for you.
2. Choose a time that you are well-nourished and rested, preferably at the same time every day. Set your timer for 15 minutes.
3. Commit to writing for 14 days in a row.
4. To begin, date your page. On the first three lines write 1, 2, 3.
5. Think of three things you’re grateful for. They can be as simple as Air, Water, Light. After you list the item, write one sentence about each telling why you are grateful. This is just to get your mind rolling. As you’re writing these three sentences, spelling doesn’t matter. As long as you can read this, it doesn’t matter the penmanship. Punctuation??? FERGETABOUTIT. Just get your words down about these three things. You may write a page about each one. You may write four words and call it good. It’s up to you.
6. Next, write about one thing that happened over the last 24 hours. This can be as simple as walking to the mail box and seeing a cloud. Write one sentence about what you saw. Continue a little about what you smelled, touched, heard, and tasted. You’ll be surprised that if you start really thinking about your day, you have so much to write, it’ll be hard to choose.
7. It’s okay if you only write 1/2 page. More is not always better. When you feel like stopping, stop.
8. Make writing in your journal a priority for two weeks and then see if journaling is something you want to continue.

Reading back through the months at Winterpast, the abundant and beautiful life I’ve experienced came flooding back. I’m so glad I saved those memories like preserved rose blossoms. Full of all the hope and wonder that comes with enjoying a spring sunrise, the words of 2020 show a woman full of hope, adventure, and faith. No matter the dark clouds, it took strength and courage to march on, one foot in front of the other.

Choose a journal that is well made and pleasing to you. Walmart has a wonderful selection with a variety of sizes and layouts. I choose to write in mechanical pencil for quick corrections. Again, remember, this isn’t something others will read. It’s meant for your eyes only, unless you choose to share. Make sure those around you know and respect that, or keep it tucked away. Words written one day will represent different feelings that those written the next. They’re a reflection of you at a single moment in time.

If you come to writer’s block, Google — “Journal prompts”. You’ll find many websites that can help you. The main point is to begin and don’t stop. Writing is life. You will discover things about yourself that you never knew. It cleanses the mind while making the sads and scaries easier to deal with.

Not at 100%, I return to my nest for more sleep. Stay well. More tomorrow.

Good Morning, Dear Readers.

Thank you for returning to see what’s up. Unfortunately, I’m down. I’ve been fighting a winter cold for a few days now. Need to take some more Nyquil and return to bed. I’ll be back tomorrow morning to fill you in on the latest.

Please stay well. Enjoy your day! Joy

Some days, there are just no words adequate. Life is too brilliant to compose into a few paragraphs. Complete happiness in a perfect moment in time. If your lucky, some days are just like that. As a writer, I need a little time to drink in these moments and contemplate life’s meaning.

I’ll be back on Monday morning. Have a wonderful weekend.

I think I can begin to follow my G0D in a more meaningful way to to help improve my life.

No. Wait.

I can begin to follow GOD in a more meaningful way thus improving my life.

No. Wait.

I WILL follow GOD through meaningful scripture which will improve my life.

No. Wait.

I FOLLOW GOD’S WORD through scripture that IS life.

Better, but not quite there. The road is long to wisdom and understanding, and I’m only walking the first mile.

GOD speaks to my soul through HIS word.

Now, that’s a mission statement I can follow.

Following GOD’s word in an intentional way, I will find direction and correct my course.

HIS WORD will bring meaning.

No. Wait.

THE WORD is meaning.

THE WORD is life.

Life IS THE WORD.

The Bible. Such a beautiful book. Pick one up and read it. You won’t be disappointed.

Have a wonderful day. More tomorrow.

Some days, the only thing that keeps me upright is a sense of gratitude that I haven’t yet toppled over. It seems the smallest things can derail an otherwise okay day. A picture triggers a memory. A memory then triggers a tear. A tear finally triggers a frown. Well, you get the picture. A perfectly good hour can be lost to the dark side.

When VST passed, I chose focus words each month. One positive word a month that represented our relationship. In those moments life seemed too dark, I’d focus on the word of the month and ways that word represented us. Words like Friendship, Adventure, and Everlasting Love. Before long, the sadness turned to something else. Gratitude.

Gratitude for the smallest things helps me stay mindful and grounded in the abundance of wonderful events that happen every day. Just last night, my trash cans didn’t blow over in high desert winds that shook Winterpast to her timbers. What a blessing! The horses haven’t pooped in my front yard for a week. Hallalujah. My neighbor felt connected enough to call after losing a very dear friend. She is a true blessing to my heart.

Each day, there are so many things for which to be grateful, I could fill a journal. At this moment, there is the sweetest little dog laying at my feet, sleeping soundly. A little dog with which I’m lucky enough to room. As he lays sleeping, I know he’s thankful that puppy camp ended and Mom-Oh came to bring him home. A little dog can only celebrate so much before needing the safety and love of his Mom-Oh. Oliver is a very grateful little dog who smiles often, brightening my days.

When I turn on the television, which I do so rarely these day, my world starts to lose balance. Negativity flips the switch on gratitude. Fear. Confusion. Hatred. Polarity. Political insanity. It all comes flooding out of this flat screen until I start to slip into the land of pessimism. Life is too short to spend even one minute there.

Covid Fear is a great optimism extinguisher. I know of a family who spent 18 months without sharing hugs. Not one. They talked on the phone and face-timed as two-dimensional flat-screen images. No familiar smells. No feeling of the warmth of skin as one hand held another. No shared meals. No physical visits between a family that had been together every week since their beginning. All this because they were terrified of a virus they may or may not have caught no matter what they did. What a loss. What a tragedy.

Before Christmas, a friend was wondering whether or not to take her littles to see their grandparents for a holiday visit. The children wanted to see Grandma and Grandpa in the worst way. My friend wanted to see her Mom and Dad. Her family doctor gave her the best advice I’ve heard.

“Mental health is very important. You need to go and make a wonderful memory together.”

That’s just what she did. Weeks later, the happy memories of Christmas 2021 are still creating smiles. Guess what.. No Covid. Imagine that.

As gratitude for the smallest things fill hearts, others notice. There’s something different about the way a grateful person holds themselves while interacting. Other people are attracted to happiness. When you share good things, friends and family want to hear more. The more goodness you find in your life, the more goodness there is to be found. Funny how that works. Begin with health. If you have that, you’ve hit the motherload of goodness. Nothing is more precious, and good health deserves a ton of gratitude. A little sick? Be grateful you aren’t more sick. And so on. There’s always a flip side to bad and that’s the something for which we can sing praise.

Being grateful creates a more patient, compassionate, and empathetic person. It’s a way of thinking that can be learned. Just think of three things in your life for which you are grateful. Not things of your physical world. Not things you can buy at Walmart. Real things. Like a bird outside your window. Storm clouds. The sound of rain. The laughter of a child. A call from a dear friend. Those important things make life worth living. It’s a shift in the balance of thought that’ll keep you upright and moving forward, one foot at a time.

All things in life are connected. A smile is the most important kind of medicine. Spread them around and see the magic they leave in a day. Magic. Healing magic of the best kind.

Have a wonderful day. More tomorrow.

I must say, the dust bunnies are on the run these days. With Christmas boxed and returned to storage, Winterpast is sufficiently ready for company. Heck, I’ve even dusted which is something I loathe. The thought of having someone come and clean for me isn’t in my DNA at this point in life. Each day, I’ve cleaned a little something. All those little somethings have added up to a house that is crying out for a party.

Making new girlfriends is risky business. Hoping for the best, I’ve invited four lovely women to share snacks and laughter at Winterpast on Friday afternoon! All friends from church, two of them took me to lunch on my birthday. They made an otherwise dreadful day wonderful. Sitting in the restaurant for hours, we talked and laughed until the lunch crowd was gone and the candles were being lit for dinner. It was divine.

With the entire week ahead, I plan to to continue polishing and preparing for their arrival. I wish Miss Firecracker was here to help ignite this party. She always knew the most adorable ways to make any occasion festive. I’ll need to call her for suggestions. These days, she hard to catch as she rolls around town in her brand new shiny black Cadillac. Hopefully I can ask her for suggestions on just the right snacks for a group of five ladies.

CC and Da Girl would be great additions, too. They’re just too far away, both having families and duties tethering them in California. That’s the downside to moving late in life. While I had VST, we were a feral couple who made new acquaintances easily. Lifelong friendships take a lifetime of days to form. Sadly, so do lifetime love affairs. Starting from the beginning is tricky.

Last night at Bible Study, prayer requests flooded in. Many told of a family member or friend in need of a miracle. Personal stories were shared for collective prayer. We’re a family of our choosing. Just like in any family, intimate details of tragedy and sadness are discussed. It isn’t just any church that works like ours. So many Mega Churches hold hundreds for Sunday Morning service. Ours runs around 50 people. Fifty people that know each other well and cherish the times we spend together.

A sweet friend entered the building yesterday her face told she was distraught. A brain injury troubles her life and every day is an exhausting challenge. She was at the end of her rope yesterday.

“Joy, it’s a dog eat dog world and my heart is made of Milk-Bones these days.”

Giving her a quiet hug, I thanked God that my brain isn’t suffering. How unusual it is to find a safe place where others are aware of personal pain when a friend enters the room. Truly comforting and wonderful. My church family is my life line, too.

I wish all the women from the church were coming to visit, but for now, I’ll start with four. Looking on Pinterest for some ideas on luncheon icebreakers, we’ll embark on this journey of deeper friendship.

Oliver had better be on his best behavior. Just like any child, I’ll get him something to distract his little brain while we humans visit. A new bone or toy should do it. Being a 25 pound sausage, he is just a bundle of energy when company shows up. I can’t risk a broken hip because he decides to jump on someone.

Speaking of the little guy, today, his Puppy Camp Extravaganza is over.

Over the desert and through the plains,

To Oliver’s kennel I go.

The Jeep knows the way, today is the day

Hallelujah!

There’s no snow!

Happy to have made it through my 2nd New Year’s Eve alone, it’s time that things get back to normal around here. 2022 has some wonderful things in store for me. Starting this week, my dance card is filling up with activities for me and me alone. Stay tuned. More tomorrow.

On the sunniest Saturday, while tidying the office in a Goodbye to 2021, I forgot something important and essential. Resolutions. In this complicated world, I can’t plan for everything, but in the past, general goals in life have served me well. VST would remind me that before shooting arrows, they need to be aimed. Every morning over coffee, the goals of the day were discussed and then a plan was made to accomplish them.

I miss that.

A Lot.

My resolutions are similar to the ones I made last year. Some of them were accomplished and some of them will challenge me for life. With that thought, these are the ten top goals I embrace as I start of the new year!!!

1. Improved Diet. For me, this includes what I eat, as well as when. Being single, meals times are of my choosing. Breakfast is simple, being built into my routine. It’s the other two that need more structure. With a sugar and flour free diet, my body is the happiest. Carbs are limited to 20 grams a day, which leaves plenty of room for veggies and occasional fruits. Christmas was a diet-free zone, but Christmas is over now. Back to reality.
2. Exercise. Living in a neighborhood with beautiful paved streets and limited traffic, I’ve no excuse to avoid walking. With a high concentration of retired Seniors, the neighborhood is safe, quiet, and inviting. Under the blue skies and white puffy clouds is the perfect place to mentally prewrite upcoming blog posts as I stretch my legs. Oliver agrees with this goal and plans to join me. Couldn’t ask for a better walking partner than him.
3. Budget Effectively. 2021 was a costly year for me. On the best day, just living is expensive and my little town is no exception. The unexpected HVAC replacement in June caught me off guard. Looking around, the next few years will be full of other unforeseen breaks and replacements. With expenses at a minimum now, I need to plan more carefully for the rainy days sure to come.
4. Publish! My new interest. How different from the 1900’s. It’s possible to publish all on my own, with tools readily available on the internet. With time ticking away and a brain in my head, this hobby of mine I’ll continue. Free webinars with the most popular online DYI publishing site await scheduling. Choosing a front row seat, I’ll be sure to take lots of notes. 2022 will find my projects published. Watercolor painting and crocheting await. Don’t forget your creative side.
5. READ! Just READ, Already! Without reading, I never would have run across the beautiful story about WINTERPAST and thus, found the perfect name for my home. Reading transports me to places and times I want to visit. A favorite past time of mine, I plan to do more.
6. Develop New Friendships. I’ll explore my new neighborhood, beginning with my street. I want to learn the names of everyone living here, being the kind of neighbor they can call when there’s a need. Springtime is a great time to meet new people as I add details to my front yard project. I’m lucky to live in a neighborhood full of friendly faces I haven’t met yet.
7. Visit Old Friends. I plan to be a house-guest this year. From northern Washington to the Central Coast of California, I plan to visit people I haven’t seen in a long, long time. Time is fleeting. I need to gas up and get going.
8. Eliminate Excess Baggage. Take that however you like. Physical suitcases? Emotional baggage? Junk in the cupboards? 2022 is the year of the purge. Never knowing when it’ll be time to downsize again, I’ll be ready. With adorable thrift stores in town, I’ll be donating in a big way. Blogging will rid my brain of unnecessary clutter as I share life with faithful readers.
9. Be a Tourist. I live in a tourist area. People come from all over the world to see the mustangs or the fossilized remains of the Ichthyosaur, a marine animal whose bones rest in the mountains of Nevada. Ghost towns. Rock fields. Top Gun. The grand Sierra’s. I plan to be a tourist this year, learning of all the wonderful places that are within a short distance of Winterpast.
10. Live Every Moment. No matter the success of keeping 1-9, I will keep #10. The last two years taught me that we all have an unknown expiration date. Age matters not and each one of us has limited time. I refuse to wait for things to happen or a travel partner to appear. Days will be of my own creation and liking. I intend to explode out of bed at dark thirty every morning to write. Because, WRITING IS LIFE and LIFE I CHOOSE.

Resolve to make your own resolutions!!!!! Make your target Success. With arrows in our quiver and goals in our heads, we can’t miss.

You were born at the stroke of midnight!!!! We love you already, so please don’t be shy. There’s no way we’ll accept the possibility that you’ll hold the horror of the last two years. Just by being you, you hold hope of peace, love, health and happiness. We’ve closed the book on 2021. You did your best with what you had to work. Climbing out of hell was a tough assignment for you. We need to cut you some slack. It’s you who is the star of the moment while holding our tomorrows for the next four seasons.

I personally want to greet you with open arms. You’ll hold so many firsts for us all. You hold healing for our broken world. I can feel it in my heart. For this, we’re all waiting breathlessly. I’m excited for my 3rd gardening season here at Winterpast. I’m looking forward to meeting my new neighbors across the street that don’t even know they’re purchasing the yet unlisted house. With hours and hours of hot tub soaking, while deepening a golden tan, Oliver and I plan to enjoy many adventures together as we forge a new path.

Every day, I’m choosing happiness, health, and hope. As a newly-baptized Christian, this will be my first full year living for God. There are always things on the horizon that are focal points for positivity. I’ll reach for those things and smile, sprinkling fun into my life in any way possible. From silly, mindless giggles to well planned activities, my life will include much more fun this year.

2022 will be the year I start my 3rd year as a widow. I’m no longer the Grieving Gardener as much as The Gardener who Grieves. No longer debilitating and mind numbing, there are more trips into memory land that result in smiles and awe at the wonderful life I shared with VST. By choice, we’ll smile in unison, me from here, VST from there. So much goodness to remember and celebrate on this the 34th year of our marriage.

As Covid loses its stranglehold on the world, we’ll all venture back into life. The sun will never feel so grand on our skin as when we all join hands to rejoice together. It’s happening in 2022. Ready those play clothes and get ready to join the fun.

2022, you make me giddy as I greet you. I write your name over and over. Such a beautiful number, not like 2021. Counting on by two’s from a nightmare towards beauty.

Welcome!!! We want you. We love you already!! We celebrate you!! Please don’t disappoint.

Well, it’s official. The world has started to celebrate the New Year!!!!! Waking early has it’s benefits. Watching the fireworks in Australia jump-started my 2022 celebration as the sun rises on the high desert plains of Northwestern Nevada. Heaven knows I’ll never make it to midnight tonight. Two full days to celebrate!! It just doesn’t get better than that.

Have a wonderful day! Whatever you do, choose happiness.

More tomorrow. Joy

Your started out with one thing going for you. You weren’t 2020. For that we all loved you and eagerly accepted you. You were a time for new dreams to come to life and for faith to be renewed. But, you were also full of viral isolation, loss, and grief. None of that because of you, but during you. For that, we are happy to wish you well as we look towards the first sunrise of 2022.

Personally, I’ve grown into a better version of the woman I’m meant to be. Passing the one year milestone of VST’s death, I thought things would surely be better. Uncharted and just as wild, Year-Two of widowhood challenged me in new and unexpected ways. As your days rolled on, the cloud of grief didn’t magically lift after 365 days without VST. Marching in a formation of one has been difficult on some days while rewarding on others.

You brought God into my life again as I struggled through four seasons of independence. In a Southern Baptist church in my dusty little town, you introduced me to my extended family who’ve helped me over some rough spots. God has shown me examples of his miracles at work, while guiding me towards new life through repentance and acceptance of Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. December 12th was the day of my Holy Baptism. Coming through life’s fires a little bruised but unburned, faith has been the conduit through which I’ve experienced unexpected and undeserved second chances. Reborn into the hugs and support of new friends, I celebrated your birth with renewed inner peace and happiness. All things are possible through God.

There were days when life was just one big sewer repair or Air Conditioning nightmare. Days when the mustang poop got on my last nerve. Long days full of rose blossoms and nights with moons so full you could reach out and touch them. Through each and every day, something new showed me I’m okay all on my own. Solitary confinement isn’t that bad if you learn to like the one your with.

You’ve given me one year of great health. Now, that’s a special thing. Not just “OK” health. Not health in which I’ve gotten through bad days. No-Sir-ee. 365 days of wonderful health in which I chose to do whatever I wanted. I ate whatever seemed tasty while watching the magical world around me. I felt deeply with a full heart, use my brain to make tough decisions while making my way through more Widow’s Wilderness. Hiking the Sierra’s has nothing over navigating Widowhood. In fact, it would seem a breeze in comparison.

Not once throughout this year have I wished I was back in Virginia City or California. Through four seasons, I’ve learned about Winterpast and her little secrets. New plants and trees have come back to life with water. My street sings with the laughter of new children. My waves aren’t to strangers anymore, but real neighbors with names. The kind that stop to chat when I’m outside working in the yard. The mustangs have decided I’m not the new kid on the block anymore, but a safe place to hang out.

You’ve been the year I can no longer say I don’t drive in the snow. Having driven in two blizzards and a pretty severe windstorm, my “Barbie Jeep” (VST named her) and I have become great friends. Trusting her more after getting new tires, I’m not tethered to my little town, but happy to venture East or West in search of entertainment and better shopping. You were the year I went back to the ocean VST and I loved so much. Finding comfort in the arms of family and old friends, you hold memories of a special week of sea shells and visits with Auntie TJ and The Convertible Goddess of the Central Coast of California. It just doesn’t get better than that.

You were unkind in some ways, robbing me of Miss Firecracker. Oh the fun we could have had, if only. But, time marches on, and you were also the year that gave her the Merriest of Christmas’s, as she now lives close to family. Although Donner Pass presents a physical barrier between the two of us, nothing can break the bonds of Best Friends Forever. Gal Pal Extraordinaire, Miss Firecracker, your new town will never be the same as you ring in the New Year.

You gave us a summer of California smoke, chokingly rude. Fires that destroyed some of the most beautiful forests in the world. Forests that will not return in my lifetime. You reminded me that I DO live in a DESERT. What was I thinking????? With an entire summer of blazing heat, you reminded me that Air Conditioning is an invention of the God’s. You also reminded me that desert evenings are one of the loveliest anywhere in the world.

You’ve been a great teacher, although at times, I was stubbornly unaccepting of the lessons you taught. Through the year, you’ve brought over 115,000 readers to my blog. You’ve helped me realize I have a precious gift that I can’t waste. The gift of writing. I’m a published writer. It’s no longer something I hope to be SOMEDAY. I climbed right over that mountain top in 2021.

You’ll be around a few more hours. I bet you are a little tired of us, too. After all, a year only has 365 days to give, and you’ve given it the best you had. Rest now, 2021. Being a memory will be easier work. No expectations of anything other than what you were while you were here. I’ll love some things about you and despise others, but, remember you we will forever.

With Faith, Hope, Love, and Dreams, we walk on towards 2022. We’re waiting to see what lies ahead. Thanks for the memories.