Author: Joy Hurt

Happy Monday! I hope your weekend was full of fun and laughter. I must say, my weekends get better and better. Many memories are being made as the days move towards the end of the year. The last of Winterpast’s “Must Do’s” are cinched up, while her leaves drop everywhere. The garden furniture is tucked away in the barn. The wind chimes are inside. Garden buddha rests in the barn. Even the succulents are now inside.

On Saturday, Oliver carefully watched where I tucked each daffodil “ball” (really bulbs, of course, but to him, balls). I’m sure he’ll remember to bring each and every one of them to me. He worries that I bury treasures in the underground and am too stupid to find them and chew on them awhile. Yes. I’m sure a few of those daffodil bulbs will reappear.

Christmas boxes litter the house now. Easier to transport them in good weather, several trips were made with the furniture dolly to move the holidays a bit closer. Now to find places for everything without overpowering the house. Decorating for Christmas isn’t as fun when one does it alone. None the less, friends will be coming over for this or that to enjoy them with me. Thank goodness this year has blessed me with so many new and wonderful girlfriends.

While working in the garden and moving the boxes, the evening storm was inching closer and closer. By time I left for dinner with the Mysterious Marine, sleet was falling, followed by gigantic snowflakes floating down from the heavens. The unpredictability of Nevada’s high desert weather is perfect for me. You never know what you’ll experience. The only thing of which you can be sure is that it will change quickly to something else.

With the domestic chores completed, yesterday was a day for worship and fun.

A few weeks ago, I found an ad for an upcoming play. Set in Lake Tahoe in 1929, it was an interactive murder mystery in which the audience would help solve a murder. Immediately, I thought back to the days of VST and his role as “Buck Bad-am”, “Seymour”, or even “The Great and Wonderful Oz”. Acting turned out to be a great outlet for him, even though I was the one that had answered the call for actors. We’d enjoy two years with the theater, winning an award at our own version of the Tony Awards on a cold mountain evening. He’d worn his tux and I my Marilyn Monroe wig. A memorable night of fun.

The Mysterious Marine accepted my invitation to attend the Sunday Matinee. We’d attend church in the morning and then scoot across the desert towards the town to the west. Not the the biggest or the littlest, by the way. Just the town to the west.

With no time to waste, we’d grab a burger at the joint where the drive-through line snakes around the huge parking lot. The one with the freshest fries and palm tree’s in their logo. That one.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been to a restaurant that was brimming with people. The tables outside were covered with Saturday’s snow or many would have chosen to sit in the fresh air. Gobbling down our food, we were left with just enough time to make the opening lines of the play.

Upon entering the building, our first indication that we might be in the wrong place was the age of the audience. Giddy with delight, we were the youngest by a couple decades. It’s nice to feel a little younger when hair color and skin tone has secured one in the “elder” category. The youngest audience member might have been 60. Someone’s child and driver.

The building was a small performance auditorium complete with padded theater seating and stairs heading to top. The theater had seen better days, but was perfect for the play. When the emergency exits were announced, it was obvious that a fire would leave many unable to escape. Not a comforting feeling.

The play itself never came together. It was announced at the beginning that the story took place during a radio show. Because of that, the actors would all be reading from their scripts. Well, shiver me timbers! The whole point of acting in a play is to learn your lines so you can become the character and ACT! I could have easily put on a costume and taken center stage. The scripts were right off a 2022 copy machine. Right then, watching the performance became tedious and uninteresting.

Until intermission, it was painfully clear that this group of people didn’t know much about acting and had even less direction. From the backdrops (video display of Lake Tahoe), to the imaginary props, to the costumes. Nothing was believable or even interesting, including the actors.

Now, the true test of a man is to take him to something like a really bad play and observe his behavior. It definitely wasn’t MM’s customary Sunday afternoon football, which he forfeited to spend time with me. It was something he wouldn’t have chosen to do alone. He’d come out of his comfort zone for me and tried desperately through the 1.5 hours to stay awake. What he didn’t know until later was that I was experiencing the same problem. Giving us lots of laughs on the way home, the play had helped us make another great memory. Just not quite the kind the Director and Cast had hoped for.

Sometimes an event that comes across Facebook can be a wonderful surprise. Sometimes, the event turns out to be a bust. You’ll never know unless you get off the couch and try something new. Find humor in the experience while staying awake, if at all possible. It makes the little lady pretty happy. MM, I owe you one.

Today, I’m off to volunteer at the church to accept Christmas boxes for children around the world. As a drop off location, our church is hoping to collect around 2,000 boxes from the surrounding area. Each box will be sent to a child in a distant land as a gesture of love and good will. Volunteering can be so much fun and this is a great time of year to help others. Feeling down? Get out. Go to town. You are needed. Just remember to smile and have a little fun while you help others.

More tomorrow.

We have an understanding, you and I.
We sit in silence; nothing needs to be said.

I know the weight you carry.
You hold your head high, but inside you cry.

The life of a soldier is not an easy one.

Memories haunt you!
But you stand tall and show no fear.

The life of a soldier is not an easy one.

You hear voices of days past come rushing to your head.
You think to yourself, “He was a good one; why is he dead?”

You wonder if you should have done things differently.
No time to think, only react.

The life of a soldier is not an easy one.

The guilt is too much to bear.
Although you were wounded, you question,

“Why him and not me?”
You can’t forget the faces that were there.

The life of a soldier is not an easy one.

We have an understanding, you and I.
You’re a soldier for life; and it has not been an easy one

– Jodi M. Kucera

Please pray for the young men that fight on in the Ukraine. On either side, they are sons, brothers, fathers, uncles, and friends. They follow the orders passed down from leaders that do not fight beside them. They all need our prayers.

Do something to honor Veteran’s today. Without them, we wouldn’t enjoy the beautiful freedoms we have today.

A special “Thank You” to my special sons who sacrificed more than 40 years of their youth while serving our country. I love you, Jason and Darren. Mom

Have a wonderful weekend. I’ll be back on Monday.

Here’s wishing us the bluest sky

Knowing something better’s around the corner.

Finding that our own verses rhyme

While singing to forget our sorrows.

Turning from past doubt and sadness

For surely, something better’s around the corner.

Cheers to beautiful days ahead

Not as empty as the ones behind us.

Enjoying optimistic thoughts and ways

While quietly, happiness has found us.

Accepting the loss of yesterday

For surely better things are on the way.

Finally rockin’ out with a scream and shout

Remembering what living’s all about.

Accepting God’s grace and what that brings

For in tomorrow, we’ll find better things

Here’s wishing us the bluest sky

Surely better times are around the corner

Finding all our verses rhyme

While loudly singing the very best chorus

Accepting yesterday’s doubt and sadness

The past is gone. It’s well behind us

So here’s to what the future brings

For tomorrow, we’ll find better things.

Yes, God has for us many better things

Just around the corner.

JH, 2022 _{Borrowed from The Kinks}

More tomorrow

Last night, my roots grew a little deeper into the desert town I call home. Invited to an amazing Election Night Watch Party, the day drug on until 5 PM when my chariot arrived. Chivalry isn’t dead in my little town. The Mysterious Marine would not let his date drive on the wet and potentially icy roads. It could be a very late night.

With Oliver tucked in for the evening, I decided that hearing MM’s voice would be too disturbing for him. Oliver absolutely adores MM, losing his mind in his presence.

Layered and bundled, I decided to wait on the front porch to enjoy a little fresh air and the new blanketing of snow. With my purse in hand, I opened the door to find I had visiting friends. Three mustangs were sauntering across my yard in the calmest way. Just as slow as you please.

Clip.

Clop.

Clip.

Clop.

The first two horses were in good shape except for the fact that their winter coat hadn’t filled in yet. It’s early for the first snow. The third horse was the one that made me sad. Wasting and extremely thin, it followed behind the other two. A hard winter will take a toll on the herd. That guy might be a casualty. Only where I live can you open your door to find mustangs in the front yard. It’s sometimes hard to remember they’re wild animals and wild animals get old and die. Just a fact of life. That being said, I hope they do it in my yard.

The party was held at the Golf Course Club House. Impressive and perfect in size and amenities, everyone arrived to turn the place into election headquarters for one very nervous mayoral candidate. Red, White, and Blue were the colors of choice. In a very short time, the food and decorations were in place and the waiting began.

The local grocery store had done an amazing job with the cold cut trays. Ham, turkey, and roast beef, sat along side several types of cheeses. A variety of crackers and dip rounded out the food choices for the evening. With enough food for an army these were the perfect snacks for a very nervous crowd.

A school board candidate, a city council candidate, and the mayor all stood waiting with the rest of us for results. Voting ended at 7 PM, with an anxious crowd waiting to find our results at Silverstateelection.nv.gov. After an hour of waiting with not one vote counted, it was time to call it a night and head home. In the day and age of computers, there is no excuse for a broken system. It should be the best in the world. Not what we found last night.

This morning, as I anxiously brought up the site, I was happy to see that our candidate is indeed the new mayor of our town. With opportunities for growth surrounding us, we need a strong man to bring businesses and industry into our area. I’m not sure at what time last night the party ended, but now, the real work begins.

Wandering about with the Mysterious Marine last night, it was exciting to meet so many lifelong friends. That’s something that’s missing when your childhood home is hundreds of miles away. MM went through school here still holding track records that remain unbroken to this day. He remembers when our town had one flashing light for a stop sign at the center of town. A time when a man’s handshake sealed the deal. I met people he knew from that time in life. Good solid people that came to celebrate with the new mayor and his family.

As for this very special family, there are so many adjectives to describe them. They are loyal, tight, funny, unique, opinionated, informed, educated, and community oriented. There were so many brothers, sister-in-laws, nieces, nephews, grand-nieces and nephews, (and relations I know I’m forgetting), it will take a while to remember all the names and faces. Mr. Mayor alone has 25 grandchildren and 3 great-grandchildren. There are four brothers and wives. That should give you an idea of what I’m up against.

The children that were present last night were adorable. From the tiniest little great granddaughter to the 26 year old grandson I talked with awhile, this family is a hoot. One grandson just adopted “Pigly”, a little piglet in the process of being housetrained. Whether we were at the bar watching national election results or eating at the table, everyone made me feel special and one of the gang.

One guest last night has a special place in my heart. J works for the sanitation department. It was he that came to my rescue some time ago to fix my ailing sewage lift station. I didn’t talk to him directly, but to his boss, (another relative of MM). Seeing this man reminded me that I owe a pizza lunch to this crew. They helped fix a situation that twirled my world. It was nice to be able to tell a boss what a wonderful bunch of men he has working for him. I doubt the sanitation department ever gets many compliments.

As all parties do, this one came to an end for us around 8 PM. With work today for MM, and early morning writing for me, we called it a night when election results were still not available. Not sure what time they were posted last night, but they were up this morning.

It appears the bickering and back biting will continue. That’s what national candidates are known for. My state has a new governor and a new senator both of whom we so desperately needed. Will they be able to change very much? Probably not, but it feels good that our candidates won.

Personally, I can’t wait for an invite to the office of the new mayor of our town. He won’t start until January, but I’m sure he’s already planning his grand entrance on the scene. These five brothers are just like that! There will be more parties and events that will be new and different. All the while, this town becomes my home more and more each day.

Whatever you do today, enjoy the fact that the political commercials are over for now. Get outside for a little fresh air. With Thanksgiving just two weeks away, we have so much to be grateful for.

More tomorrow.

November 8th! Election Day!

Please! Let the commercials stop! I have heard this time and time again. Something needs to be done to stop the insanity. Although we don’t know them and will probably never meet them, they sneak like thieves through our cable boxes and pollute our lives. Along with the Pharmaceutical commercials for drugs that I certainly don’t need and most definitely would never take, they have worn out their welcome.

In the 1900’s, when people ran for office, they were out meeting people. Shock of all shocks, some would even ring a doorbell to shake a hand. Well, those days are long gone.

The saddest thing of all is that they don’t know the 5 Second Rule (if something can’t be fixed in 5 seconds, don’t mention it). I wouldn’t mind commercials that actually told information about the candidate instead of the consistent mud slinging that is US politics. I cringe when I hear people repeating information straight from the television screen. Sadly, propaganda does work.

How fun it would be to have some musical jingles advertising great cereal or hearty beer.

From the land of sky blue waters (waters),
From the land of pines, lofty balsams,
Comes the beer refreshing,
Hamm’s, the beer refreshing.

or

My Bologna has a first name,
It’s O-S-C-A-R.
My bologna has a second name,
It’s M-A-Y-E-R.
Oh I love to eat it everyday,
And if you ask me why I’ll say,
Cause’ Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A!!!!

Come to think of it, maybe forgettable political ads aren’t so bad after all. At least they don’t create earworms (songs stuck in your head).

Even after falling back on Sunday, time is zooming by. Here we are on the day of election returns. This day will have more significance to me than those in the past. You see, I know the mayoral candidate for our town. In fact, the Mysterious Marine has asked me to be his date for the “Watch Party” at the local golf course not far from Out of Town Park.

Not being sure what one wears to a “Watch Party”, I’ll decide that later today. There will be food, drinks, and a large television on which to watch results as they roll in. Come to think of it, I’ve never known the mayor of a town before.

To complicate the day, the first snow of the year is about to fall. When I taught in Virginia City, we made it the entire school year without a snow day. How crazy it was to be at 6200 feet in the winter and listen to all the other schools getting random cozy days in which to sip hot cocoa and stay in jammies all day. It wasn’t to be Virginia City Middle School in the winter of 2015-2016.

The following year, I had many snow days. That was the year of snow-mageddon as VST shoveled foot after foot of the white stuff from our decks and driveway. We had 12′ of standing snow. Who knows how many feet he really shoveled, as it was an ongoing process. We never called the snow guy because VST WAS the guy.

Today, I’ll see what falls. I may or may not need to shovel snow to make it to the party at 5. If there is too much falling, I may need to watch the results from the comfort of Winterpast. Hot cocoa and election results in jammies works for me, too.

Our town does has some pressing issues on which to vote. The most important one is in support of the Fire Department that desperately needs continued funding. Hard to believe that a town of 20,000+ can run on a mostly volunteered fire department. That speaks to the perils and problems of life in a small town.

With that said, my post will be short this morning. So much to do in preparation for the festivities. Tomorrow, we’ll all look to 2024…….and the insanity will begin all over again. Such is life in the USA.

Whatever you do today, find it in your heart to vote. If you’ve already done so, Thank You for making your voice heard. If you haven’t voted, please do. It’s what makes our country great.

More tomorrow.

I love adding images to my blog. Today’s message is especially important for me. It’s so easy to backslide into distraction, perfection, or negativity instead of choosing loving and showing it through purposeful thoughts and actions. I took the time to visit www.handsfreemama.com. What a lovely site. Truly worthy of a visit.

Although opportunities to share love are all around us, the actual art of spreading love takes intent and focus. Last week, I volunteered to collect food for our community outreach. The truth of the matter is that this outreach comes almost exclusively from our church. From the sorting, storage, packing, distributions, the volunteers are our members. The church is our home base. But, that information can’t be share, lest those on the “unloving side of life” might get their feathers ruffled.

Persecution of Christians is alive and well. Trust that little fact. It’s getting worse every day. One unhappy hen can cause the rest to stop laying. There were some community members that didn’t like the thought of the “Who’s of Who-ville” spreading love and good will. Although the hen house was upset for a little while, feathers were eventually smoothed and the collection drive went on in spite of the drama.

On another day, one unhappy cluck-er got really upset because shopping carts were borrowed to transport the donated food on mile to the west. Really???? I can’t think of a more trustworthy group than a bunch of elderly church members collecting food for the poor. With a trailer, the baskets made it much easier to transport the donations. What kind of store manager would find a problem with that? The one that runs the store I don’t shop at because it is so poorly run. That one.

Drama is a choice, as well. At handsfreemama.com, Rachel talked about a “5 Second Rule”. Don’t share a negative opinion about something that takes more than 5 seconds to fix. Sharing these negative opinions can do lifelong damage if it involves weight, hair styles, or other physical attributes. Decisions made in haste can derail a perfectly wonderful Thanksgiving food drive. Now, wouldn’t that be a great rule for grumpy store managers? One raging complaint a lot more than 5 seconds to fix while emptying baskets and making up barrels on rolling dollies to handle the donations.

Drama can suck the love right out of the best situations. Working the food drive was such a positive and lovely thing to do. I only saw a handful of familiar faces, but the strangers that donated were beautiful in every way. From those that donated a single can to the person that snuck a $100 bill into our jar, they all made my volunteer shift magical.

Someone commented that this year’s collection was smaller than last year. Someone else was discussing the fact that no one has offered to donate turkeys. Yet another person worried about the number of volunteers that haven’t signed up to help with distribution. In the end, love will cover every need of this endeavor and the families that need food for Thanksgiving will enjoy a lovely dinner.

Last week, one man was walking into Walmart when I asked if he would like to help.

“Heck, I’m the one that needs help.”

I was so glad the name of our church was on the front of the flyer. If you are finding your dollars have shrunk to nothing while store brand turkeys are at $1.88 lb. or more, remember your local churches. Our church is hosting a home cooked meal on Thanksgiving Day for anyone that is alone. I would venture to guess that the grumps that rained on our parade aren’t into helping those in need to enjoy a warm meal on Thanksgiving. I’m so blessed to be surrounded by those that get great happiness in choosing love every day, even when it’s not the most convenient.

To show love is a decision. It’s not a magical thing that overtakes people. True love takes some effort. Sometimes a decision to show love can be difficult. Those are the times love is the most intense and beautiful. When done right, there is nothing more brilliant than acts of love. Love truly does make the world go around.

Today, take a moment to look at handsfreemama.com. There is a place to click on her blog and see what she has to say about life. What a lovely woman. Truly.

More tomorrow.

Standing in front of Walmart on a cold autumn day while asking for food for the needy was a reality check on many levels. First of all, I can describe desert extremes in great detail, but standing outside in the cold for two hours was experiencing it first hand. Even with multiple layers of clothing, I was glad I hadn’t signed up for more than two days of exposure.

I mentioned the cold temperatures to my Sister in Christ, Widowed Wizard. Now, this is a woman that knows exactly who she is and the jobs she has left to complete on this earth. She wasn’t nearly as bundled as me.

“Cold is all in your mind,” smiling warmly as she said those words.

Interesting and brilliant on so many levels. I just wish my mind would’ve put me in the warmth of Hawaii for the next two hours, because, it was high desert cold outside the doors of Walmart.

Focusing on the reason for being outside yesterday reminded me of the hundreds of people in our little town that don’t have their very own Winterpast in which to drink hot coffee and blog. They are out there right this moment. Cold isn’t in their minds but sucking the life out of them under our bridges or behind our buildings.

Abraham Harold Maslow (/ˈmæzloʊ/; April 1, 1908 – June 8, 1970) was an American psychologist who was best known for creating Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, a theory of psychological health predicated on fulfilling innate human needs in priority, culminating in self-actualization. Maslow was a psychology professor at Brandeis University, Brooklyn College, New School for Social Research, and Columbia University. He stressed the importance of focusing on the positive qualities in people, as opposed to treating them as a “bag of symptoms”.(Wikipedia)

It’s interesting that Maslow placed Love and Belonging at a lower spot than Esteem or Self Actualization. Before taking off on an airplane, the flight attendants always remind us to put on our own oxygen before helping others. That applies to life and self-love, as well. How many times I’ve nearly broken while attempting perfection when we all know there is no such thing. Loving ourselves unconditionally is a nearly impossible task for most of us. At least that is a truth for me.

Standing outside Walmart yesterday, was this 66 year old woman finding her way through life in a body that is never going to be the prettiest, the smartest or the most clever. But I’m pretty enough to smile back at the woman in the mirror, smart enough to avoid drowning in the rain while admiring the clouds, and clever enough to create a life worth living. That’s my reality. The more I embrace basic truths about my life, the happier I’m becoming.

Yesterday, as people streamed by on their way into the store, I was amazed at how many took the time take a flyer and even more amazed when they came back with a sack of food for our Thanksgiving food drive. Self-Actualization at it’s finest. Worrying about others before themselves.

I did find some humor in those two hours.

One fine lady took my flyer and got a very worried look on her face.

“I can tell you this. The day this world stops eating innocent birds is the day I’ll have respect for people. Horrible. Barbaric. Chopping heads off to stuff their guts at Thanksgiving. Bet the turkeys of the world aren’t thankful, now are they?”

Not knowing what the Christian reply would be, I needn’t have worried. She didn’t miss a beat.

“But, you aren’t asking for turkeys here. I can help out with everything on this list. Just stop murdering birds, okay? Awful. Just awful.”

Muttering to herself, she walked away as she read our grocery wish list. More to think about. I do believe she was a few clicks above Self-Actualization.

Thinking about life in between the contacts I made, the Law of Attraction came to mind. It suggests that positive thoughts bring positive results into a person’s life, while negative thoughts bring negative outcomes. When we start to like ourselves just a little, our perception of the world around us will change. Miracles become more visible and happiness may land on our shoulder for awhile if we only accept it.

My life has been full of so many “Should’s”, “Shouldn’ts”, “How Could You’s?”, and “Why Did You’s?”. It’s high time for a few “Why not? Give it a try’s!” mixed with a good dose of mental hugs and high fives. Continued self-criticism creates a very dark environment making it almost impossible to live a full and rich life. I’m still trying to accept those thoughts as my new reality. Some days are harder than others.

Loving yourself involves accepting reality and then making your own path.

In an act of love, accept three small things about yourself. Forgive yourself for three different things. High five yourself for yet 3 more. This human condition didn’t come with a play book. Thank goodness. Individuality makes life beautiful. When we find inner appreciation for who we are, we can find out appreciation for others in our world.

Reality is reality. Don’t stay stuck in the mud. Sometimes you just need to stand in the cold for two hours to realize you need to get moving again.

This weekend is the perfect time for reflection and fun. Oliver is going to get pampered at the spa. Without any real plans, the weekend is an open canvas on which I plan to make a splash. Please come back on Monday to read all about it.

More Monday.

Be Kind. Be Kind. Be Kind. Repeat for two hours in the freezing cold. That’s what I’ll be doing today.

Our community does such amazing things in the time of need. Right now, winter is knocking at the door. The days are short. The nights are in the 30’s. Gas is over $4.50 a gallon. The shelves in the stores are either empty or stocked with overpriced goods. The holiday season is upon us and there are people that need kindness and help. Small town people take care of their own. That’s just what we do.

When the sign-up sheets were passed around at church asking for help with the food drive, I was one of the first to sign up. Yes. I remember Thanksgiving 2020, when I was a brand new widow facing the holidays. It was “then-strangers-now-friends” that greeted me with their smiles and hugs. I bought everything on their dinner list and brought it out to some very cold but also very happy volunteers.

That memory that took little money and an even smaller amount of time to make stuck with me. In July, on a day when I needed friends the most, it was the memory of that cold November day and the warmth from those community members that steered me to my new church friends. That day, Jesus did take the wheel, taking me to a Bible study that was two minutes from starting. The Lord works in mysterious ways. He sure does.

Yes.

You bet I’ll be there. Today. In the cold. Smiling in front of the grocery store with free hugs for anyone that needs one.

Being kind doesn’t cost anything. It isn’t something you wrap up with a bow or take hours to plan. You need to practice it once in awhile or else you might sour. Our world is home to people with many problems. Everyone needs kindness on a daily basis.

There’s another word that we could all practice being a bit more.

CORDIAL

 adjective

cor·​dial | \ ˈkȯr-jəl  \

Definition of cordial

1. showing or marked by warm and often hearty friendliness, favor, or approval. a cordial welcome: politely pleasant and friendly

2.  sincerely or deeply felt

3.  tending to revive, cheer, or invigorate

Of course, that is the definition when used as an adjective. After dealing with the un-kind among us, we all might need the noun version.

Today, for two hours, I’ll find all the kindness I can give which will warm my heart against the biting cold of Nevada’s high desert. Having lived in this environment for over 8 1/2 years now, I have plenty of extra warm clothes to fight the wind. If it rains, I have a large umbrella. Grumps will walk on by. Bags of needed holiday food will magically appear. The two hours will go by in a flash.

Today, whatever you do, be kind at least once. It costs nothing. It takes no time. Kindness is a mindset. You need to practice it until it becomes second nature. Smile when you don’t feel like it. Say “Hello” to someone that looks like they need a “Hello”. Remember to have a grateful heart. Grateful hearts are the burning ember that keeps us going and doing. So, get out there and fan your own flames.

More tomorrow.

Time. Such a strange thing. It can race by in the blink of an eye, or take an eternity for just one hour to pass. But, pass it does. It’s hard to believe that 31 months ago, VST and I were in a struggle with time. Wishing like heck there was more time for doctors to discover a cure for the cancer that cut his life short. Longing for just a few minutes to catch our breath and bearings while precious seconds together stopped at the end of his life.

When I lost VST in the middle of Covid, there was no one around. If you haven’t ever experienced days or weeks totally alone, I can tell you a few things I learned.

You are stronger than you think.

You will remember to care for your basic needs.

Although your shirt may be on backwards, you’ll still remember to put one on before you walk to the post office.

You will learn to talk and listen to yourself, hopefully becoming your own very best friend.

In the end, when your friends do come to your rescue, you will understand the true value and meaning of the word “Friend”. One of the nicest things you can have. One of the best things you can be.

In those days and weeks in which I moved to a town in which I knew only two people, I needed grief support. There were no groups. No preachers making rounds to see lonely widows. No long time neighbors that had watched our kids grow into adults. Quite frankly, there was no one familiar except a random woman I happened to meet at Walmart. Pretty dismal.

It was during that time I found a wonderful service offered by the Chapel of the Light in Fresno, California. Offered under the heading “Grief and Healing” was the service called “Daily Email Affirmations”. I’m on my 3rd year of emails, enjoying them in different ways now. Taking away wisdom and truths that I missed the first 2 times.

Each day, an short email arrives which focuses on an appropriate aspect of grief. Grief is such a strange thing. In the beginning, I viewed it as a very long trip through a very dark forest. Those first days, the foliage and trees were so thick it was all I could do to watch one foot fall in front of the other. But slowly, the forest thinned. The first time my grief lifted a bit, my life became was meadow-like. The the peace felt was beyond understanding. Sure enough, there are still plenty of forests I’ll need to pass through. It’s the passing through that can be tough.

If you are in the middle of the forest, try signing up for these emails. If you are in a meadow right now, use the light to sign up for the emails. They have helped me in so many ways, being another silent friend I can count on morning after morning. Somedays we just say a brief “Hi”, while other days, we sit together for a bit. It’s nice just to have another layer of support.

Grief never really goes away. We get stronger and better able to handle it. It’s the price we all pay for loving someone deeply. Pretty fair trade off. Besides, we get to keep the memories.

Whatever you do today, take time to be grateful for at least three things that happen in 15 minutes. Then repeat. You’ll be surprised how many wonderful things continue to happen every hour, even when we turn our thoughts towards our grief.

Time. Such a strange thing. It can race by in the blink of an eye, or take an eternity for just one hour to pass. But, pass it does. Use it wisely.

More tomorrow.

A November 1st Welcome to you!!! Hard to believe that Christmas is in 54 days according to the internet. And we all know the internet is never wrong……

Years ago, I decided that Christmas decorations need to be displayed for longer than a few weeks in December. Red and green are my favorite colors. Not really sure why I don’t just use them for my accent colors. At any rate, November 1st is the day I start decorating. Now that I’m the chief box mover, it takes a bit more time to move Christmas from the barn to the house.

Having a birthday in December, along with having the name “Joy”, the number of my Christmas boxes increase each year. The cutest “Joy” decorations find their way to Winterpast. Coffee cups, wall hangings, and other decorations that are all personalized just for me. Such a lucky gal.

Almost finished with Fall Cleaning, it’s on to rearranging and sprucing up. I plant to start with a slow introduction of red and green, not adding true Christmas decorations until the week before Thanksgiving.

My favorite decorations have always come from my Godmother, Auntie TJ. Through the years, she has given me the most beautiful and special things. We’re both Sagittarians, our birthdays falling just days part. Knowing me so well, her gifts are always perfect, while arriving right on time.

Fellow Sagittarian’s, you can probably relate to my feelings about a December birthday. By the time it rolls around each year, I’m not in the mood for a cake with candles. I prefer Christmas goodies only served once a year. For me, a December birthday is the biggest bother of all. One more thing that needs to be squished into a list of celebrations, parties, and gatherings. I’d much rather celebrate the reason for the season. In comparison to that, my birthday in quite insignificant and an unwanted bother.

Off to the barn I go to start the process. Whatever you do today, enjoy the beauty of Autumn. It’s never to early to start planning your Thanksgiving menu. In this the day of unexplainable and unpredictable shortages, early planning may help insure you have everything you will need only 23 days from now. 0y vey.

More tomorrow.