I must be honest and tell you that real grass is a bit of a diva. It needs sunlight but not too much sunlight. Water it, but not too often. Keep it trimmed, weed-free, fertilized, aerated, and whispered sweet nothings to under a full moon. What’s the reward? Patchy brown spots from our female canine and random dandelion invasions.
Enter the glorious world of artificial turf, also known as fake lawn. This is the best decision we’ve made since upgrading to heated car seats. Fake grass doesn’t care about droughts, foot traffic, or our tragic track record with the 2025 houseplants. It’s vibrantly green year-round and never throws a tantrum in the middle of summer. No more yellow patches. No more “we’ll just re-seed it next year” lies.
The back yard at Winterpast is home to the nicest “real” lawn in the world. Other than suffering with girl-dog brown spots, it’s doing well. It gets mowed two times a week to stay in tip-top shape. At the first hint of a weed, HHH and I are on the attack. It’s the prettiest shade of green although the actual variety remains a mystery.
Now, the front yard once had an equally lovely lawn, until it was ripped out by the roots and replacec with white rocks. With the up-do on the front yard in full swing, it’s time to bring on the green, even if it is artificial.
Last Saturday, HHH and I decided to drop by Kelly at the carpet center in town. Kelly is such a go-getter. Along with selling synthetic lawn, he also sells blinds, carpet, linoleum, flooring, and U-Haul rentals. In his spare time, he’s thinking of opening a nursery which is something our little town desperately needs.
We only needed to ask about his opinion of installing synthetic lawn. It turns out he’s had his for five years and other than treating it twice a year to a little “spa” treatment, his looks as good as the day it was installed.
We can’t wait until our neighbors walk by and whisper, “Wow, how do they keep it so nice?” We’ll just smile and wave, never disclosing our little secret. Low-maintenance landscaping at its finest will leave more time for lounging and less time for lawn therapy. In our drought-ridden desert, fake grass will be our best friend. No irrigation. No sprinkler system drama. No prayers for rain. Just pretty green at all times.
Of course, grass purists may sniff and say, “But, it’s not natural.” To them, we’ll reply “Try it before you knock it.” A true Master Gardener would shudder at the thought, but, here at Winterpast we need a facelift. It can’t come soon enough.
The next steps will involve finding someone to chop down one tree, grind a stump, move some rocks and get to work!!! I promise to share pictures when complete.
Cheers to the lawn that never quits! Our new synthetic grass will stay cool (figuratively) under pressure. Sometimes, the most beautiful thing about nature is being able to fake it in just the right shade of green.
