Well, here we are. New Year’s Eve morning! A day we’ve been waiting for, as this year keeps knocking us back while we struggle and trudge ahead. It amazes me that when talking to people about this year, almost no one has a glowing report. It’s been a difficult one of tears and loss for so many. I long for something positive when I turn to televised news. As that hasn’t happened in months, I stopped tuning in. Funny thing, I’ve felt better ever since.
For those of you robbed of your loved ones, I send my love and prayers. Disease and death will find us all, although untimely death seems all the more cruel. On this side, I find comfort in accepting that I didn’t cause Cancer to take VST. I didn’t have any way to stop it. I do have the strength to carry on.
April 7th was the blackest of days for me. The inevitable was coming, the hour unknown. A deep sleep had come to VST and evaded me. With thoughts of the other side, I prayed his journey would be swift. Prayers answered, he went home on the 8th. I was left on this side of that huge chasm to figure things out until it’s my turn.
On the other side they wait for us, those that crossed before. A sea of energy and light, radiant happiness and peace. A place with no pain of a sprained ankle or lonely days in Covid isolation. A place that is so inspirational and quieting, I wait patiently and celebrate another year.
On this side of the New Year, I plan to ring out the old with plans for the future. Ideas, new and fresh, spring to my mind. 365 days as a widow will be finished, with memories saved in a new book. Winterpast will flourish with her leafings and blooms, while the bird families come back to build nests in my trees. Next Christmas and New Year’s will be spent cruising under the Golden Gate bridge towards Hawaii, with reservations already in place. Life will jump over midnight tonight into 12:01 tomorrow morning, landing on the other side.
Today is a day I’ll watch our favorite movie, “When Harry Met Sally”. No matter how many times we watched it together, it never got old. It represents us in so many ways. Then, it will be on to “An Affair to Remember”. All while enjoying Chinese food from a restaurant here in town. Oliver and I will probably be asleep way before the stroke of midnight, up to write on the first day of the new year, 2021.
2021. Even the name of the year counts on. Through the loneliest of widow’s wilderness I counted my steps, one after the other, helping me to this spot. We must go on to brighter days, while looking around and realizing the space we are in now is beautiful, all on its own.
Tomorrow, I’ll meet you on the other side. I’ll have more to share. See you then.