If there’s one thing desert life teaches you, it’s to expect the unexpected. A lizard in your shoe? Sure. Your car taken over a flash flood? Why not. But the most recent addition to the growing list of “What Fresh Nonsense Is This?” arrived during last week’s second biblical-level monsoonal downpour. Our archenemy, the dastardly squirrel, came begging for cover like a wet, twitchy refugee.
Yes, that squirrel. The one who’s been treating our porch like a warzone for the past year. The one who chews through bird feeders, mockingly stares me down while I drink coffee, and once ate 150 brand new seedlings I’d just grown from seed. He’s not just a nuisance. He’s a fuzzy little menace with boundary issues. And then? He squatted on our porch like we’re old college buddies huddling out a storm together.
But let’s rewind.
The desert, in its infinite irony, decided to turn into a swamp last week. Not once, but twice. Rain came in sheets, sideways, upways, probably down from space. Burners were camped out all over town, their RVs shimmering under the weight of soaked hopes and soggy costumes. The roads turned to pudding. People with “low” houses found out just how literal “flood zone” really is. The sage plants didn’t know what to do. The dogs were confused. It was chaos.
In the middle of this monsoon madness, up scampered Sir Drenched Nibbles, aka the squirrel, eyes wide, tail limp, soaked to the bone like a rejected extra from a wildlife disaster film. He looked up at HHH, rain dripping from his whiskers, and I swear he mouthed, “Truce?”
For a split second, HHH didn’t know what to do. Do you close the door in the face of your enemy? Or do you let him huddle under the eaves while nature gives him the same cosmic wedgie it gave the rest of us?
HHH did the right thing. He chased that little bugger back out into the storm while I sat inside, sipping a Diet Coke. As he ran away, glaring at the rain I’m pretty sure he was planning where he’ll bury peanuts in revenge.
We haven’t seen him since.
Meanwhile, out here in the desert, the sun has returned with enough humidity to make our Oreos go limp. The puddles are slowly retreating. But we’ll never forget the day our furry nemesis came looking for mercy during the strange desert monsoon that left Burners questioning their life choices. As for us? The chance of storms continues this week. Bring it on!!! We’re ready.
Have a Terrific Tuesday!