If we could eliminate one month of the year, August might be the best choice. Here in the desert, it is hot beyond hot. The spring flowers have finally given up the ghost. Sadly, the last of our mustangs are struggling with their new foals. Every August, they come down from the high country in search of food and water. It’s in our neighborhoods that they get in trouble.
It’s been hot this summer with the kind of days where the sun personally roasts you for your life choices. Our horses have returned to the neighborhood, bringing happiness to the local poo hunter and his trusty dog, Rex. Strangely enough, this man canvases the neighborhood in his little ATV, cleaning up after the horses. I’m not sure what use he has for the road apples, but he does collect them.
Our horses were missing for over 8 months, but have somehow found their way back to us. They not only eat most new plants, but can destroy a complete sprinkler system while looking for water, learning very quickly how to break lines. This is all be very expensive damage.
We had talked about putting up a fence long ago, but with a quote of $15,000, we decided there must be a cheaper way. Turning to Amazon, I started looking for deer and hog deterrents. If something works on deer and wild pigs, it just might work on horses.
There it was — “Wild Hogs Deterrent”. Now, if you know anything about wild hogs, you must know it’s hard to deter them when they move in. The advertisement read as follows: “Our wild hog repellent is made of the freshest mountain lion urine, peppermint oil and Citrus Essential Oils, emitting a strong scent, making pigs afraid and causing them to run away. Please replace the product after rain.” If these make wild hogs run away, these little balls of mountain lion pee might do the same for our skittish horses.
I’m outside, glistening while sweating like a cheese wheel in a sauna and armed with a box of “WILD HOG DETERRENT” that I bought off the internet during a sleep-deprived gardening spiral. Now ready for deployment, I must remind you that we’re not plagued by wild hogs. We have wild Mustangs.
I’ve been told there ARE lions in the hills above us, so these horses should know the scent and be afraid. Very afraid. Between that and the incessent barking of Wookie and Oliver, we might just have a chance to grow some pretty flowers after all. Apparently, the smell of lion pee tricks animals into thinking they’re about to be eaten. Terrified, they flee. Genius, right?
So there I was, crouched like a weird suburban hunter. These golf-ball-sized scented balls covered in lion pee were placed into little lace bags and then were placed around our “Rose of Sharon” plants. The instructions were very clear: “In the heat of the afternoon, place one pellet 3′-6′ apart.”
HHH and I obeyed and placed them with reverence, like sacred meatballs of fear.
And then we waited.
The outcome? Let’s just say… mixed reviews.
The Mustangs have shown up like clockwork. But this time, instead of grazing gracefully, they walked on by while one mare gave me the side-eye. The kind that says, “Ma’am, RUN!!! Mountain Lion!” while our plants remain untouched. That says something!! All I can hope is that they keep walking on by.
If any of the neighbors ask about the strange stench coming from our front yard, I’ll answer, “Just warding off the horses with predator pee,” casually, as one does when their yard smells like a safari.
In case you are wondering, the rock work is coming along. After many bruises, I’ve decided to take a little break while HHH continues on. It looks amazing. Now, let’s hope the hogs don’t decide to come for a visit.
Have a wonderful weekend!