Some days, you’re the windshield, someday you’re the bug. Yesterday, Oliver was definitely the bug. And, he’s lucky I coudn’t find my fly swatter.
Oliver is a most difficult dog. From the moment I brought him homesix years ago, I should’ve known. First of all, he was a discount dog, reduced more than 60%. The breeder even drove him two hours to meet me in the snow-covered parking lot of a huge casino in the biggest little city west of us.
All puppies are adorable. Oliver even more so than the average puppy. Wet from car sickness on the mountain roads, he shivered as he melted into my arms. I mean, really. How much trouble can one little twelve-pound puppy be? Especially a really cute one with green eyes.
Today, I can tell you. Oliver is the worst dog I’ve ever owned in my life. Of course, he’s also the cutest and the best cuddler. In case you’re wondering why I’ve put up with so much, it’s because he’s with us for the long haul. If you were thinking about taking him off my hands, forgetaboutit. We’ll suffer through the carnage until he’s through with this stage of life. At this rate, I predict that will take about ten more years.
HHH went overboard for Christmas. With thoughtful and sweet gifts, he went the extra mile. There were gifts for everything I love. A beautiful cross necklace. A splendid piece of furniture, well hidden in wrapping. Heirloom seeds and sprouting trays. A little of this and a lot of that.
The most unique gift is a 1,000-piece puzzle of the Majestic Princess, our last cruise ship. From shore, he snapped a picture, photographing the complete ship in all her splendor. Who would’ve known you could order a wooden puzzle from a personal photo? He did.
Beginning on Christmas evening, with both of us working, it’s taking some time. There is an expanse of blue sky, lots of ocean, and then, the ship.
When we began, we knew the canine vacuum known as Oliver hovered below the table. He’ll eat anything and everything. It doesn’t need to be food. If it smells like us, all the better. So, we’d both be on the lookout for Destructo-dog.
The first night, we both worked on the puzzle for hours, finally deciding to get some sleep and continue the next morning. In the morning, I got some coffee and went to work. Sometime between sipping coffee and separating puzzle pieces, one was knocked to the ground. Hearing a strange munching sound, it was too late. Our beautiful puzzle is now a 999-piece puzzle while Oliver is banished from the dining room.
There are days I would like to pack a little backpack and send him on his way. It wouldn’t work. He’s micro-chipped and whoever found the little beast would quickly return him.
The missing piece will be part of the story of the puzzle. Planning to decoupage it and hang it on the wall, there will be one piece of water missing. When people ask what happened, we’ll gladly tell them all about it.
Whatever you do today, avoid looking into the eyes of a sweet little discount dog on a cold winter’s day. He’ll melt your heart and you’ll lose your life to the little beast, no matter how destructive.
Oliver………….
Oy Vey.