The Stories Farm Wives Share

A few weeks ago, HHH and I shared the most beautiful evening with friends. Our beloved Bee Lady and her friend invited us for an enchanting evening at her farm. Think of a lovely farm setting overlooking a field of alfalfa. The side yard dotted with more than ten lovely bee hives. The corral filled with three amazing donkeys, as cute as they could be. Luscious lawn, beautiful flowers, and gorgeous shade trees. Tranquil beauty at its best.

As I said before, her home is as lovely as they come. It makes me think back to my time at the ranch. I know how much work it takes to make a ranch look picture-book lovely. I’ve been there and done that. It’s time consuming, back braking, and never ending.

It’s magical when Miss Bee Lady and I share stories. Having both been farmer’s widows, we understand the shared stories, even though they happened in two different states. Any farm wife shudders at the word “irrigation” and all that encompasses. At one time or another, every farm wife has had the irrigation story to end all.

Stories of long rides in open-windowed pickup trucks when the smell of mowed alfalfa is intoxicating. Spring evenings when the whole world is one big sprout. Harvest abundance so great it drowns you in zucchinis. Quiet evenings on the farm when you listen to hear the faint hoot of an owl calling her littles to come out for flight school. Crickets. Doves. The wail of coyotes. So many memories known only to those that are lucky enough to have farmed.

Looking around her lovely ranch made me remember funny things that happened on my own. One of the best that comes to mind is when I was put in charge of buying phone line.

This was in the early 1990’s when there was still a need for something called a “Land Line” or phone wired into the house walls. For the first few years on the ranch, we had to pay a hefty charge because our drive way was the boundary for two separate phone companies. If our house had been on the east side of the drive, it would have saved us $70 a month. But, because it was on the west side, we were charged the fee on the 1st of every month on top of the regular bill of $17.92/ month.

After learning we needed a POTS line (Plain Old Telephone Service), a phone representative suggested installing a pole and phone line on the East side and then running an overhead line overhead to the West side of the drive and into our house.

Easy Peazy. After paying a hefty amount for the purchase and installation of a real, honest to goodness power pole, we were ready for the line.

I went to the best hardware store in town. The kind that has everything Lowe’s or Home Depot are lacking. Upon explaining that I needed to buy wire for the phone system, he explained that they were all out.

However, I could buy 300 feet of six strand Gopher-Proof sprinkler wire that would do the trick.

Now, at the time, I was still blonde and cute. But, even at that time, I knew that 300 feet of Gopher-Proof sprinkler wire was going to do nothing but irritate my husband to the max. The associate assured me that it would work perfectly, so I made my non-returnable purchase.

When my husband got home, he was absolutely pleased that I was so innovative. To my total amazement, it would absolutely work. Maybe even better than real phone line.

And so, for 15 years, all phone calls originated in the middle of our 40 acre vineyard, stretching 300 feet to the ranch house roof where our phone would ring. That line carried messages of graduations, harvests, job offers, incoming weather, births, deaths, and everything in between. As far as I know, the line is still in use today.

Whatever you do today, think about funny stories in your own life and jot them down. Life was so different in the 1900’s. Simpler. Cleaner. More honest. Something hard to describe unless you were there. How blessed I am to have experienced such a life.

More tomorrow.