AT this very moment is your glass half full or half empty? Your experiences today may depend on that question and how often you choose to see it as full. Every single day, happiness is a choice we all make. Even on the darkest days, you can choose to leave the drapes closed or get up and go with the flow.
Consistently happy people seem to look at situations in life to find the good. In 2020, when grief was new, small miracles lifted my spirits every day. That I could be lifted up was a miracle in itself. Some of those miracles were hard to see at the time. Once I opened my eyes, I saw them surrounding me every day.
Take, for instance, the fact that I moved to a new house and town just 17 days after becoming a widow. Everything I’ve ever read on widowhood would’ve advised against going through a complicated sale and purchase of two properties, and the move that followed. And yet, that was exactly the thing I needed to do. I was blessed things worked out the way they did.
At the time, Covid was new. The quarantine was very real, with almost everyone hunkered down in their homes. For a woman that hadn’t driven in six years, this was golden. I could get in my Barbie Jeep and go.. And, I did, while enjoying the empty roads of the high desert plains of Northwestern Nevada.
During those days of quarantine, I enjoyed a beautiful boat ride by myself on a Lake Tahoe Yacht, the Bleu Wave. I spent nights in several casinos and slept well because there were not many guests to make noise. I ate out often at restaurants that remained open. All the while, I had time to grieve quietly, remembering what I needed to remember and forgetting the parts I chose not to.
It was during those early days I found I’d been ignoring my relationship with God. I fixed that, learning so much during hours of Bible Study. As my soul became stronger, so did earthIy relationships, forming friendships I still rely on today.
Slowly, I found the strength to rid myself of things I’d no longer need. I sold my beloved RV, while accepting I’d never have another. I made myself a beautiful nest in which to heal and did the best I could to provide myself with nourishment each day. I found I love the quiet more than anyone should and became best friends with my God AND my own soul.
So many in life don’t have the ability or will to take a step beyond the date someone dies. For whatever reason, they find themselves lingering in an empty room waiting for some answers. I did that for a time. Then, after finding strength on a mountain top in an early summer wind storm, I finally released my beloved to the universe. By releasing him, I found freedom in my own soul. Life could finally move on.
My glass through the entire process remained overflowing with goodness. With the help of family and friends, growth occurred in spite of the tragedy of cancer. Looking back with a grateful heart, I’m thankful God surrounded me with earthly angels. They all took turns carrying me when I was sure I couldn’t take another step alone.
Was it easy? NOPE. Did I wake up every morning to the question — 1/2 Full or 1/2 Empty? You betcha. Some days, it was just impossible and I’d choose sleep over wakefulness. But, I usually concluded that 1/2 full was better than empty of anything and went on. After awhile, it was just easy to choose happiness, because after everything is said and done, it IS a choice.
Whatever you do today, think about all the wonderful things that’ve happened to you since your loss and be thankful. Life is a series of journeys. Some are just plain great, while others are the most difficult in life. Look for the good in life as you make your way. You’ll be surprised how much beauty surrounds you!!
More tomorrow.