Oy Vey.
February has arrived and I’m no closer to releasing the new blog. For new widows and widowers, I must apologize. In September, 2020, I was where you are today. Lost, fearful, heart-broken, alone, and lonely, I poured my sadness into my posts. My life has changed so much since then. The painful and involved journey of grieving finally lead me to healing and peace.
For those interested, I encourage you to start reading the blog from the beginning. There, you may find words that comforts you on your journey through the wilderness of widowhood. It’s been my intention for the start that it would be so.
To go back in time, look to the right today’s post. Click on “Archives”. Scroll down to September 2020. Once on September 31, scroll down again to find the very first post dated September 24, 2020 and begin reading. Repeat that process for each month after that.
There are a few things about the blog that you must know.
- I don’t have a Master’s in Fine Art in Creative Writing. This blog started with a woman devastated by pain and filled with words begging release to the universe. In the beginning, I’d squeal with delight if I two readers a day visited this Grieving Gardener. As my readership increased, I started looking up IP addresses to identify the countries in which my readers lived. Daily readers slowly increased as I poured out my heart day after day.
For a long time, I wrote every single day. In the midst of Covid while knowing very few people in town, the gardens of Winterpast, (my new home) and Oliver (my little dog) gave me a reason to get out of bed at 4:00 am every morning. I was punctual but not always a very good editor. That remains true to this day.
Some have commented that my grammar isn’t always correct, or my spelling perfect. Sometimes, when deep in thought, I might write “Pants” when I mean “Boots”. Please, please, please, let me know! Unlike Artificial Intelligence, this very real and human woman makes errors. I don’t revisit past blogs very often. I left the pain in that widow’s voice along the way as I healed.
2. My stories are all too real although people or places are usually disguised. I own the many mistakes made along my journey. There were “Northern-Star” moments, calling for corrections in my direction. Every new widow and widower has moments in which they might’ve used better judgement. Just try to remember to continue on your own, authentic path. Most importantly, forgive yourself along the way. Life can be messy sometimes.
Just like Joni Mitchell and her rehabilitation from a brain aneurism, I had to relearn the most basic life skills in a new environment with rules all my own. At 64, I’d never been an adult woman alone in the world. It’s obvious in some of the posts and even more obvious to me when I reflect on things omitted.
3. I can tell you one truth. Everything written was with the best intent to help to at least one widow in the world. I hope my words have accomplished that goal.
4. Winterpast — The name on the plaque my my front door, I dedicated my new home to God in this name. My winter has passed for now and I’m enjoying every bit of happiness I can find.
5. My late husband did have a real name followed by PsyD. For now, I choose to keep that as my own. VST is a nickname given by Auntie TJ on a most special visit. To her, he remains VST to this very day. Keep some things about your late spouse as your own.
6. In the beginning, I taught myself the in’s and out’s of blogging. So simple to begin, I set up my blog site in an afternoon. I’ve learned about the workings of the site, but still the weakest in that area. In the beginning, I didn’t realize I could add pictures and videos. When I found out I could, I probably used too many. I rarely use original pictures, but rather ones I find online. Sometimes, copyrighted music is blocked after publishing. Just life.
7. If interested in writing your own blog, research sites with good reviews. The site I now use is clunky and hard to navigate. I promise the new blog will appear soon. The new site seems to be easier to use, I just need to use it. This honeymooning has rearranged my life just a bit.
8. Is blogging expensive? It can be. Like anything, there are plenty of additional services you can add to your website. Usually, discounts are offered during the first year. Be careful to keep current on your payments. Your Domain Name (ie–Grievinggardener.com) will be yours alone unless you default on payments. Then, it can be snatched by someone else.
Writers must write. Writing is life. Long ago, wise people gave me important advice.
Just tell the story.
Whatever you do today, think about letting your words carry away a little pain and grief away from your heart. Choose a time and place that is comfortable for you and just begin. Tell YOUR story. You might be surprised what your written words tell you!
More tomorrow.