In the last week, two close friends have experienced the unexpected and tragic loss of a close family member. This is a tale of two families that chose differently. One family prepared a trust while the other meant to, but never got around to it. Both losses were immediate and final.
Planning for the future can involve things like engagements, rings, and honeymoons. It should also involve a trip to the attorney to make sure all legal aspects of one’s life are in order. I’m taking my turn at adulting today to visit my new best friend, Mr. Lawyer Man. I’d scheduled this appointment two weeks ago, before I received the tear-filled phone calls from my friends. Not totally unprotected, my own family trust was created on January 7, 2008 and revised in Nevada shortly before VST died in 2020. Thankfully, we both agreed it was important.
As for my friends……
A California farmer was the soul caregiver for his medically fragile wife and son until he died last week without a will or trust. The estate is now locked, from the credit cards to the safe. Without a trust, the state will take over and plan for the family, while their current needs continue. Funds to help care for the son and wife are available, however, they aren’t accessible right now. This process is quite lengthy, leaving a burden for the extended family.
There could be answers in the locked safe, however, no one can remember the combination. Even that small bit of information could be vital. While adulting, tell someone, somewhere, the location of your important documents and how to retrieve them.
The second family lost their beloved husband, father, and grandfather after he kissed his wife goodbye and left on his drive to work on Tuesday. Rear-ended in a horrific accident that made the news, he died at the scene. At an age most men retire and golf, he preferred to continue with his career. He was one of the finest men I’ve ever met, adored by all that knew him. In the blink of an eye, he was gone.
A professional man, he prepared for those he loved. His family now grieves their loss without locked bank accounts.
My understanding is this. A trust is like a virtual box in which you place your valuables, holding instructions that will be followed when you die. It protects your assets for distribution to those you chose to include. I am not an attorney, just a very protected widow who planned while I was still the very loved wife of VST.
Decision making regarding ones own death is never comfortable or fun. Just remember, it’s the adult thing to do and this is one of those times adulting isn’t fun.
While planning your trust, there are other legal issues to consider. Create a medical directive, Power of Attorney, and other essential documents. A lawyer will give you advice on the documents you need.
There are online sites that generate these documents for free. If you choose to use them be sure to complete the final step and have them notarized. Without that step, the documents aren’t valid and you return to the group in probate. A terrible thing for any family to experience at a time of grief.
As for my two dear friends, I hope their heavenward journeys were on the wings of angels. For them, the suffering and earthly work is over. For the surviving family members, I send prayers and love.
For those of us here on earth, it’s time to get prepared for life’s one certainty. We’re all headed down the same road, not knowing the time or day. Leave a paper trail of legal wishes for the family you love so much because it will make all the difference in the world when the time comes.
Whatever you do this weekend, have some fun! Tomorrow is the first day of fall. Get out and kick up some leaves. Enjoy some hot apple cider on a crisp morning. Just be grateful to be alive. Summer 2023 is behind us!!! We made it!!!!
I’ll be back on Monday.