A writer’s best friend is often coffee. Writing in the dark of early morning, it’s surely mine. As darkness turns to shadows and then full sun, I sit clickity-clacking away while Oliver sleeps on his bed. He knows. We got to work every summer morning at 4:30 AM. There’s time for rest later in the day when the temperatures soar past the century mark.
Coffee is such a strange drink. I started drinking it my Freshman year in college. Over the last 50 years, there have been times when I’ve consumed a pot a day, and other times when I’ve gone a year without any. At present, the pot starts boiling each morning while I’m still half asleep.
There is a story about a young widow that I’d like to share on this beautiful Friday morning. It’s good to take a look at how we handle adversity, whether it’s something minor, or a biggee such as widow-hood. Think about it.
The Story of the Carrot, the Egg and the Coffee Bean
A young widow went to her mother to explain about the struggles of her new life as a widow. She didn’t know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired struggling each day. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots.
In the second she placed two eggs.
In the last, she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. Next, she pulled the eggs out and placed them on a plate. Finally, she filled two cups with the steaming java. Returning to the kitchen table, she placed the three things in front of her daughter.
“Tell me what you see,” were her words to the troubled young woman.
“Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” the daughter replied, punctuated with a significant eye-roll. With a knowing smile, she then asked her daughter to examine and describe the carrots. She did so, noting they were soft and mushy.
The mom then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it, pull off the shell, and share her observations about the hard-boiled egg. She did, telling her mom although the egg looked the same on the outside, the inside was now fully hardened.
Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter relaxed and released a smile as she tasted its rich aroma. They sat together for awhile, two women looking out upon the garden while enjoying the morning joe.
“So what’s your point, Mom?” The young widow had relaxed a bit, wanting to get to the bottom of this strange experiment. She needed her mother’s wisdom at this time in her life. Her mom didn’t disappoint.
Each object faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently.
The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. If boiled long enough, it would’ve become mush.
The egg had started out as something fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected the liquid interior. After sitting in the boiling water for a time, its inside became hardened.
But those coffee beans found a unique way around the situation. Before they were boiled, they were hard and bitter. Not many people munch on a cup of coffee beans in the morning. After boiling, it was the beans that had changed the water.
“Which are you?” she asked her daughter. “Adversity knocked on your door and came right in. How are you going to respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean? You’re smart. You’re strong. You’re beautiful. Even though life is hard right now, it’s also as beautiful as the garden outside this window. Be brave. Be bold. Be yourself. But, always strive to be the coffee.”
I got to thinking about this analogy that the mother used and I had to ask myself.
Am I like the carrot that starts strong, but with adversity, wilts to a soft and mushy pulp?
Am I like the egg that starts with a malleable heart that hardens with the heat? When faced with a difficult trial – do I become hard boiled? Does my outer shell look the same, while on the inside a hard bitterness has taken control??
Or am I like the coffee bean, actually changing the hot water, the very circumstance that brought the pain in the first place. With hot water, the bean gives the best of itself to create something totally wonderful while simmering in boiling water.
When the hour is darkest and trials are at their greatest, how to handle adversity?
Be the coffee. Try your best to be the coffee.
On this beautiful Friday leading up to a fantastic weekend, remember to be the Coffee. May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy. The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything—they just make the best of everything that comes along their way. Be the coffee and carry on.
I’ll be back on Monday!