The desert is a wonderful example of life not being as it first seems. To the traveler, it is a barren and forlorn place of loneliness void of meaningful life. If circumstances had been different, I never would’ve had the chance to understand the magnificence of this amazing place. Unforgiving, for sure, but also full of life and hope even on the hottest summer days.
Summer 2023 has been mild in comparison to the three others I’ve survived. The very minute the sun slips behind western mountains, breezes cool things down a bit. Before the next sunrise, the temperature drops to more comfortable level. Until now, some nights have almost been sweater weather.
I’ve found widowhood and loneliness to be a lot like the desert. At the worst of times, grief is as unrelenting as the midday sun. Just like the desert, relief is hard to find unless you learn how to survive. Even the hottest of days holds a sunset, when one can take a deep breath of relief. So is the journey through the wilderness of widowhood. Ups and downs. Good and Bad. Turmoil and Peace.
One year ago, sitting at my kitchen table, I’d just finished my morning Bible study. Loneliness had me by the throat as I sobbed. Where in the world I’d meet some new friends? Covid quarantine was over. I was a widow of over two years in a town that I still didn’t know very well. I had neighbors who were in different stages of life than I was. Many were shut-ins confined to the privacy of their own homes. Bird songs amid the gardens can only amuse one for so long. Through my tears, I prayed that God would provide new friends.
My day held earthly plans full of errands and chores. Through a very strange route, Jesus had other ideas. HE took the wheel of my Jeep and drove me straight to an answer.
The gardens of Winterpast, my lifeline, adding a few new plants would certainly make me feel a little better. On the way to the garden center, I remembered a little church just across the tracks across from Main Street. What if they had something to offer? I decided to follow the persistent little lightbulb going off in my head and stop by.
After parking and following the signs to the office, I entered. There, 14 women sat around a table, welcoming me with their smiles.
“Why, Hello! You’re just in time! Have some fresh pie! Here’s our study materials. What’s your name? Tell us your story.”
The time? 9:58 AM.
The starting time for the weekly Bible study group? 10:00 AM. God gave me two extra minutes to settle in.
Sitting in front of each lady was a sheet of paper holding one definition in very large font.
Friend \frend\ noun
Someone who gives you freedom to be yourself;
One of the nicest things you can have;
The best thing you can be.
Miracles often appear when we’re too sad to recognize them for what they are. That day unfolded into the miracle I needed at that very moment in time. Friendships formed then and continue to this day.
If you’re trying to kick the loneliness of widowhood, the only thing you can do is put one foot in front of the other. “Fake it until you make it”, as VST used to say. Get out and nose around a bit.
Whatever you do today, do something positive in the present moment, putting aside the negatives of yesterday and the worries of tomorrow. Life is a beautiful, wonderful journey. You Gotta BE! Sing it!! You Gotta Be!!
More tomorrow.