From time to time, all of us are lucky enough to get swept up in a magical moment in which time stands still. Whether it’s with someone you’ve known most of your adult life or someone you are just getting know. Those moments can hold plenty of “Ahh – Ha’s” and are certainly times to be remembered and cherished.
Such was the experience I had on Saturday night. As an old woman, I lost my Mother and my Mom over two decades ago. One at the hand of another, the other to the ravages of cancer. I changed after those losses. One left me wondering how in the heck a “skilled” surgeon could so easily take the life of another. The other left me with a gaping hole in my heart that has taken years to heal. One biological. One, my mother-in-love.
It’s been quite some time since I’ve had the benefit of visiting with a wise Mom. One who birthed five children, raised them to productive adulthood, while managing to remain true to herself. Saturday night, I had the rare treat of spending some quality time with MM and his amazing mom, Miss B. I realized, after our evening spent talking about our respective losses of our spouses, how much I have missed interacting with a mom figure.
Miss B had decided to stay a couple nights with her eldest son, my Mysterious Marine. Now, Miss B and I have something in common right out of the gate. We both happen to think MM is an amazing guy. Of course, she has known him so much longer than I.
Our time together started by enjoying homemade Red Lobster Stuffed Mushrooms with crab.
HOMEMADE “RED LOBSTER” CRAB-STUFFED MUSHROOMS
INGREDIENTS
- 1lb fresh mushrooms
- 1⁄4cup celery, finely chopped
- 2tablespoons onions, finely chopped
- 2tablespoons red bell peppers, finely chopped
- 1⁄2lb crabmeat
- 2cups oyster crackers, crushed
- 1⁄2cup cheddar cheese, shredded
- 1⁄4teaspoon garlic powder
- 1⁄2teaspoon Old Bay Seasoning
- 1⁄4teaspoon black pepper, ground
- 1⁄4teaspoon salt
- 1egg
- 1⁄2cup water
- 6slices white cheddar cheese
- Preheat oven to 400deg F.
- Wash mushrooms and remove stems.
- Set caps aside, and chop half of the stems.
- Saute chopped mushroom stems,celery, onion and pepper in butter for 2 minutes.
- Transfer to a plate and cool in refrigerator.
- Combine sauteed vegetables and all other ingredients (except cheese slices) and mix well.
- Place mushroom caps in a sprayed or buttered baking pan stem side up.
- Spoon 1 tsp stuffing into each mushroom cap.
- Cover with a piece of sliced cheese.
- Bake for 12-15 minutes until cheese is lightly brown.
Well, it’s impossible to start off on a bad foot with these mushrooms. MM had gone to the grocery store to hand select twelve of the most beautiful mushrooms in the store. Following the instructions to the letter, the mushrooms were delicious. We enjoyed them while folks at the Preakness were enjoying their traditional crab cakes. Very fitting.
Of course, I bet my traditional $1000.00 of imaginary bucks on the long shot, who did not win. There’s good reason why I never really bet on horse races or gamble much on anything, for that matter. I’m not very good at choosing a winner. The horse I bet on WAS very pretty.
As the evening progressed, MM created a fantastic dinner of Colossal Shrimp Scampi and angel hair pasta. Steamed Broccoli completed the dinner. For desert, we shared fresh Lemon Blueberry Pound Cake, our new favorite.
As the evening unfolded, I learned of a family member with a pet monkey who loved to play with MM’s hair as a child. I learned that family is all important to this mother and son. And, I learned that some Grieving Gardeners have more in common than we originally knew. Whether widow, or widower, the loss of a spouse is devastating. The only way through the maze of grief is to talk it out. Wait it out. Pray it out. All while continuing to put one foot in front of the other. Keep on, keeping on.
Throughout the evening, as a spring thunderstorm set in, we continued to share the our own inspirational stories. As we talked, we shared thoughts like, “But how did they get through? I could have never done that. I wouldn’t have had the strength.”
Through three very different tragedies, we faced challenges in different ways. We all found courage and resilience to fight the battles we were given in the year of 2020. We all lost the loves of our lives. Yet, here we are, building new bridges across a sea of grief while holding on to beautiful new friendships we’ve made.
The evening ended way too soon. Wookie and Oliver were waiting at my house. Wookie begged and begged for a girl sleepover, so it was only fair that as the sun disappeared behind the mountains to the west, I returned home to the dogs.
This weekend, I learned that we’re all much stronger than we think. Don’t forget all the battles you’ve won while fighting your uphill battles with widowhood or widower-hood. Everyday, you prove to the world you are stronger than anyone would’ve ever thought. There isn’t anything that you can’t handle when put to the test.
Whatever you do today, think of mentors in your life that are examples of strength and resilience. As you spend time with them, remind them of their heroic deeds under the worst of circumstances. We all need to hear that once in awhile as we find our way through the wilderness of grief. You and I did good things in the midst of a sea of sadness and loss. We’d do it again in a heartbeat. Don’t forget that for a minute.
More tomorrow.