September 24, 2020, I began blogging without a clear goal. Yes, there were murky thoughts of completing a book. But that was all in “SOMEDAY” status. Each morning, I’d look up stats for my blog and remember squealing when ten readers appeared during the preceding 24 hours. There was only one constant. I wrote, every day, inching along with the encouragement provided by those first few readers.
Slowly, my readership increased, I remember the excitement I felt when I reached 50 readers. It was an amazing feeling. But, it didn’t meet a set goal. An un-aimed arrow always hits its target, they say. My arrow sailed gracefully through thin air hitting nothing.
After a few months, while watching my numbers continue to grow, I set a few goals and upon reaching them, said a little “Ya-Hooooo”. I continued writing.
In the last 24 hours, I’ve had 1,401 reads. My total number of readers is now over 534,000. Not shattering in the world of the internet, by any means. My past readers come from more than 80 countries and all 50 states. It’s time to set some real goals, so I know when to plant my flags. Slowly, I’ve climbed one mountain top after another.
When journeying through life, goals help us move along, rather like a tow strap. I can’t imagine not having daily, weekly, monthly, and annual goals, monitoring them for needed adjustments. It’s just the way I keep rolling forward.
Thinking about the future, I wonder when I’ll embrace the fact that I’m a published author. The blog is one milestone along my journey. But, when I close my eyes at night, I don’t yet believe I’m a true writer. So, what will it be? The first day my book is advertised on Amazon? My first sale? My first book signing? When I write my first very first book available in hardback, e-book, and audio versions? Will it be on the high desert of Northwestern Nevada, or from some tropical beach far away? All goals I need to choose. Until I do, I won’t know where to plant my flags, and they’re getting pretty heavy to carry along.
During the past three years, goals have helped me get through some tough days in the wilderness of widowhood. During April, 2020, I journaled hourly accomplishments while struggling to breathe. There were so many things needing to be done as I readied Oliver and I for our big move. I’d make a list of three things. When they were completed, I’d list three more. Without tiny goals, I wouldn’t have had things ready for the moving truck.
Tiny accomplishments grew into bigger ones. Journal-ing along the way left a bread crumb trail of memories. What a long, strange trip it’s been. One that none of us could’ve predicted, packing punches delivered one after the other. Each time the knock down blow was delivered, I regrouped and stood tall again. Here I am on the brink of returning to some sort of normal. Bruised, but standing.
I have a big flag to run up the pole on April 8th, 2023. Three years will have past since I lost VST. During those years, the journey’s been treacherous. Some days, the winds, rain, and snow have been blinding. Sand storms have caused me to hunker down until they ceased. Each storm left me stronger and more determined to move forward. That’s the point right?
Don’t.
Get.
Stuck.
In.
The
Mud.
I find the approach to each heaven-ersary a little more harrowing than all the last. No one can warn a grieving gardener about that for it’s an experience all its own, individual and unique to each person. Grief doesn’t go away, the experience just becomes more complex. While living a new life, old ghosts pop up out of no where. An entire adult life of memories doesn’t just grieve away easily.
This year my flag is huge, and reads “An Appeal to Heaven“. In these crazy times, we can all hope for someone to show us the way, following our leaders. We can try things we’ve heard might be helpful during a crisis. We can wait for stimulus checks, and new laws to lead us in the direction of someone else’s choosing. But, when all else fails, and hopefully before that, An Appeal to Heaven will show the way.
Pick milestones along your journey and remember to plant your flags. You need them flying high as a celebration of your accomplishments, and a sign to others behind you that things are improving with time. Above all, carry on and keep going forward because, there’s no going back.
More tomorrow.