I love jigsaw puzzles. With focus, concentration, and time, a complete picture is made from a box of broken pieces. At first, the edges are the only obvious ones to be found. Little by little, the most recognizable shapes come together. Finally, the background becomes clear. Healing through grief is life’s most difficult puzzle. Picking up the pieces, a new life is created. Many of the pieces don’t fit anymore, but become beautiful memories that provide comfort along the way.
I’ve made so many missteps along the way while trying to force pieces into the wrong places. When you lose your spouse, all the edges are gone. I learned that the hard way. Lifelong “Should-s”, “Shouldn’t-s”, “Maybe-s”, and “Why Not’s” disappeared. Alone in my widow’s fog, I chose new rules for a new life. During the last 35 months, a picture is forming of a very different woman that I truly like. The real ME.
While forming new boundaries for my life, the centerpiece that had been missing the longest was found when I was baptized in on December 12th, 2021. Now, worries that used to shade everything are delivered to God in prayer. When the worry box in my head gets full, I ask for HIS help.
During the last 35 months, I’ve prayed myself to sleep, asked for the protection of angels around Winterpast and two little souls who rest inside. Sleeping peacefully provides healing during the worst life has to offer. Grief. The journey through loss and despair is unique to each one of us, but together, recognizable. It’s hell on earth. Plain and simple. Hell on earth.
Yesterday, while traveling to the Biggest Little City to the West with a dear friend, I was reminded that everyone’s journey through grief doesn’t always involve the loss of a spouse. It could be a Mom, Dad, sister, brother, or dear friend. It could be a beloved career or the loss of the best pet in the world. Life is full of grief. Life is also full of love and support to get us through the worst.
I’m so thankful for all the friends I’ve made during the last 35 months. People that’ve stopped to listen. Those that had a hug just for me. Those that shared a heartfelt tear while telling their stories to me. I’m so blessed to have healthy and happy days to share with them when life gets tough. This week, my dance card is overflowing with adventures. Lot’s of friends. Lot’s of love. Lot’s of pieces that have fit together to make the most beautiful picture of hope, faith, and a new life.
35 months. Life is good VST. Have fun up there in heaven. God will choose my ETA. Until then, please know life is really, really good here on earth.
Whatever you do today, find some pieces that’ve been missing. Change up the edges that aren’t working anymore. Find splashes of color that fit together to make a beautiful new picture all your own. Do some living! Spring is a lovely time of year.
More tomorrow.