Standing in front of Walmart on a cold autumn day while asking for food for the needy was a reality check on many levels. First of all, I can describe desert extremes in great detail, but standing outside in the cold for two hours was experiencing it first hand. Even with multiple layers of clothing, I was glad I hadn’t signed up for more than two days of exposure.
I mentioned the cold temperatures to my Sister in Christ, Widowed Wizard. Now, this is a woman that knows exactly who she is and the jobs she has left to complete on this earth. She wasn’t nearly as bundled as me.
“Cold is all in your mind,” smiling warmly as she said those words.
Interesting and brilliant on so many levels. I just wish my mind would’ve put me in the warmth of Hawaii for the next two hours, because, it was high desert cold outside the doors of Walmart.
Focusing on the reason for being outside yesterday reminded me of the hundreds of people in our little town that don’t have their very own Winterpast in which to drink hot coffee and blog. They are out there right this moment. Cold isn’t in their minds but sucking the life out of them under our bridges or behind our buildings.
Abraham Harold Maslow (/ˈmæzloʊ/; April 1, 1908 – June 8, 1970) was an American psychologist who was best known for creating Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, a theory of psychological health predicated on fulfilling innate human needs in priority, culminating in self-actualization. Maslow was a psychology professor at Brandeis University, Brooklyn College, New School for Social Research, and Columbia University. He stressed the importance of focusing on the positive qualities in people, as opposed to treating them as a “bag of symptoms”.(Wikipedia)
It’s interesting that Maslow placed Love and Belonging at a lower spot than Esteem or Self Actualization. Before taking off on an airplane, the flight attendants always remind us to put on our own oxygen before helping others. That applies to life and self-love, as well. How many times I’ve nearly broken while attempting perfection when we all know there is no such thing. Loving ourselves unconditionally is a nearly impossible task for most of us. At least that is a truth for me.
Standing outside Walmart yesterday, was this 66 year old woman finding her way through life in a body that is never going to be the prettiest, the smartest or the most clever. But I’m pretty enough to smile back at the woman in the mirror, smart enough to avoid drowning in the rain while admiring the clouds, and clever enough to create a life worth living. That’s my reality. The more I embrace basic truths about my life, the happier I’m becoming.
Yesterday, as people streamed by on their way into the store, I was amazed at how many took the time take a flyer and even more amazed when they came back with a sack of food for our Thanksgiving food drive. Self-Actualization at it’s finest. Worrying about others before themselves.
I did find some humor in those two hours.
One fine lady took my flyer and got a very worried look on her face.
“I can tell you this. The day this world stops eating innocent birds is the day I’ll have respect for people. Horrible. Barbaric. Chopping heads off to stuff their guts at Thanksgiving. Bet the turkeys of the world aren’t thankful, now are they?”
Not knowing what the Christian reply would be, I needn’t have worried. She didn’t miss a beat.
“But, you aren’t asking for turkeys here. I can help out with everything on this list. Just stop murdering birds, okay? Awful. Just awful.”
Muttering to herself, she walked away as she read our grocery wish list. More to think about. I do believe she was a few clicks above Self-Actualization.
Thinking about life in between the contacts I made, the Law of Attraction came to mind. It suggests that positive thoughts bring positive results into a person’s life, while negative thoughts bring negative outcomes. When we start to like ourselves just a little, our perception of the world around us will change. Miracles become more visible and happiness may land on our shoulder for awhile if we only accept it.
My life has been full of so many “Should’s”, “Shouldn’ts”, “How Could You’s?”, and “Why Did You’s?”. It’s high time for a few “Why not? Give it a try’s!” mixed with a good dose of mental hugs and high fives. Continued self-criticism creates a very dark environment making it almost impossible to live a full and rich life. I’m still trying to accept those thoughts as my new reality. Some days are harder than others.
Loving yourself involves accepting reality and then making your own path.
In an act of love, accept three small things about yourself. Forgive yourself for three different things. High five yourself for yet 3 more. This human condition didn’t come with a play book. Thank goodness. Individuality makes life beautiful. When we find inner appreciation for who we are, we can find out appreciation for others in our world.
Reality is reality. Don’t stay stuck in the mud. Sometimes you just need to stand in the cold for two hours to realize you need to get moving again.
This weekend is the perfect time for reflection and fun. Oliver is going to get pampered at the spa. Without any real plans, the weekend is an open canvas on which I plan to make a splash. Please come back on Monday to read all about it.
More Monday.