It’s all fun and games until the weakly assignment includes the words “create” “Newsletter” and “Microsoft Office 365” in the same sentence. Add the words “photos”, “videos”, and “citations” in the same paragraph, and this is the thing my nightmares are made of. You see, as a 1900’s model here, I’m still learning about this wonderful little box on my desk. It was my practice 5 years ago to send paper Newsletters home in homework folders. This newsletter is for a college assignment, to be sent and accepted by a college and graded.
Oy Vey.
The content part is second nature. No problem-o. Having created “Mrs. Hurt’s Sneaky Peek at Next Week” every Friday since the fall of 1996, I have this down. A need for the newsletter arose that year because I had a student with very special needs. He was an adorable boy with the best attitude. He was two years older than the rest of the students in my class due to his challenges. If we would’ve been at a larger school, he would have spent a few hours a day in my class. We were tiny. He attended class all day, every day.
Early in the year, Mom, THE PRINCIPAL, and I decided that it would be of help if Mom had all lesson plans for the following week to preteach the lessons over the weekend. An extremely educated woman, she was an older mother. This boy was her first of three children. She’d turn this little situation around and her son would be absolutely normal by the end of his 1st Grade year. In her denial, she’d will this to be true. Bless her heart. She was a mama bear at her finest.
And so, Mrs. Hurt’s Sneaky Peek at Next Week was born. I found other parents were frontloading their children with enrichment about subjects we’d be studying. The newsletter helped everyone. It also held me accountable for all the subjects I’d finish teaching by Friday. Hence, my absolute fixation on time management. Teaching school does that to you.
For those of you not familiar with the classroom of the 2022, let me clear something up.
On any school work day, we start with 450 minutes. That’s 7.5 hours. Now, right away, take 85 minutes off the top for lunch and two recesses. That leaves 365 minutes of working time during the day. 200 of those minutes are dedicated to word decoding and comprehension, grammar, punctuation, handwriting, and vocabulary. And in learning about proper classroom behavior. That can take down the entire 200 minutes on some days. On a great day, we have 165 minutes left. Monday through Thursday, the kids leave the room for 45 minutes. Each day it’s for a different reason. Computers, PE, Art, Music, and Library. 120 minutes left, if I did the math right.
Well, we can’t forget math. Every day, math consumes 80 minutes. So now, we have 40 minutes. Settling in with the flag salute, announcements, and “Show and Tell” all take 20 of that. 20 minutes left.
Have you ever watched kittens? They play and play and play, and then fall over and sleep? Littles are a lot like that. A good rule of thumb used to be that a child’s keen attention to something is one minute per year of life. So, my six year olds really key in for the first six minutes of a lesson. After that, kittens. And just like kittens, they are the cutest little people in the world. Master teachers wrap there day in 15 minute segments of fun activities, and breeze through from morning until night. After 23 years of improvement, at this point in life, I am a master teacher.
With 20 minutes in which to fit everything else, you can see, there is no time to waste. Not one minute. I didn’t subtract time for the occasional fire drill, assembly, or other little time munchers. Just wanted you to understand a little about the classroom.
Now, back to the Newsletter. When I read the assignment, of which I had one full week to complete, I was gloating with happiness. I could do this one in my sleep, or so I thought. I started right away with a template with elementary school style. Off I went, not paying attention to the pre-designed format. I had four pages of beauty as I pushed Save. Great. But the Newsletter was formatted differently. It was 9 pages of things I hadn’t put in places to which the computer moved them. It was a disaster. And so the week began.
Finally, after six trying days, the Newsletter was complete. A thing of beauty. I could move it anywhere and everything stayed put. I was feeling absolutely giddy with delight. It was an “A+++” assignment for sure. I went into my college site and hit import.
Nothing happened. The submission box would not populate. A
ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? I HAVE “A+++” INPUT. IT MUST POPULATE THE BOX.
Time and time again, I massaged the entire situation. It would try to populate, no assignment would appear in the box. No pretty pink “Welcome Back to School” badge. No cute picture of Mrs. Hurt with her long flowing hair. No information about important dates. No research about the benefits of parent engagement in the classroom. No pleas for classroom helpers. None of it. Just an empty Submission box, with the clock ticking towards Monday.
Finally, after saving the file as a .PDF and employing the help of the sweetest tech lady from the college, my box populated. Totally. I submitted. Entirely. I was mentally fried, but my little assignment which would normally have consumed an hour, took almost 15.
Oy Vey.
Thinking all was well with my world, I bravely looked into the assignment for this next week. My heart dropped to my toes.
No. No. No, No, No.
“Next week, you will create a 20 side Microsoft PowerPoint presentation complete with…………………..”
I blacked out for a bit. Might have said a few un-teacher-ly things.
Such is the life of the coed. Even at 66, there are uncharted waters as I paddle down a river called college. I hear tell of some rapids ahead.
I was always an A student in school. From kindergarten. Shining star in the classroom.
Please, God. Hear my plea. I only need a C to renew my credential. I need this for my new job. Please hear my request. Even a C- will work in this situation.
With that off my chest, and just so you know, I currently have an A-. It’s the minus that just rubs me the wrong way.
Stay tuned as the saga of Mrs. Hurt and the Computer unfolds.