Who would even think that creating, purchasing, and setting a headstone would become a nearly impossible task? Of all the things I’ve gone through as a widow, this wasn’t something I considered as difficult. It seemed it would be something easily done. Two years later, I’ve found out differently.
Choosing the right place to memorialize VST took some consideration. There are family plots in the Central Valley of California, but that’s too far away. VST wasn’t a US Veteran, so that eliminated the National Cemetery in my town. Although his ashes will be spread, I wanted a place to go. A place to think. A place to grieve. A place for friends and family to remember him. Virginia City, Nevada was the last place we dreamed and lived together. My “Bionic Cowboy” was never happier than taking his daily walks on the boardwalk. Everyone in town knew VST. A headstone would be fitting there.
The next step was to find a stone cutter to create the headstone. This was not to be an easy task. In case you haven’t done this lately, you are in for a surprise. In the biggest little city to the west of me, headstones are ordered online. Can you pick your own slab? No. You can’t even see what it might look like when finished. All are computer-generated and delivered by Fed Ex. That didn’t sit well with me, but the next part was horrifying.
“I’m planning to place the headstone in the cemetery at Virginia City. How much will it cost to set it in concrete?” I asked.
“Virginia City?” he asked with a puzzled expression.
“Yes. Is that a problem?”
“We don’t set headstones there. You can come pick it up when it arrives and set it yourself.”
Excuse Me, Mr. Funeral Guy????? Are you kidding me??? You’re kidding, right???? This little old 66 year old woman is going to come to your office, pick up a 180 lb. headstone, hoist it in the back of my Jeep, travel to Virginia City Cemetery and set the stone in concrete? Has this man lost his flippin’ mind????????
These days, I’m constantly floored by society. In this case, Mr. Funeral Guy (MFG) works in the business of grief. Wearing shorts and tapping his little flip-flopped sandal, our conversation was obviously going no where. Besides, he had a tee-time and was sure I knew that. Only one thing raced through my mind.
FERGETABOUTIT!
I wasn’t purchasing a headstone online. This wasn’t a casual purchase. This was a stone that will last hundreds of years, like the others in the Virginia City Cemetery. Although two years have passed, I’m a grieving widow. Widows don’t set their husbands headstones as they did in the prairie days. Zero Stars for Mr. Funeral Guy.
T and K met in on a sad day in the Central Valley at a real headstone manufacturer. They chose all the elements, lovingly creating a beautiful headstone. Even so, it took months to create. The headstone will still need to be transported to Virginia City by family, but it feels more personal coming from the Central Valley where VST became a man, married me, raised our children, and became a Grandpa.
I met with the Virginia City Cemetery care taker, Donald, almost six months ago. On a fall day, we walked around the cemetery to choose the right spot. As it turns out, when placing a headstone in Virginia City Cemetery, you just pick a spot. There are no pristine rows of manicured plots. In a mosaic of headstones, you just find a spot you like and claim it. Donald knows who is buried where. He makes the rules.
“How do I select the spot once I find it?” I asked.
“Just set a rock on it.” Donald replied.
Just so you understand, Virginia City is a big pile of rocks. Big rocks. Little rocks. It’s a town that has been mined numerous times. Everything sits on one big pile of rocks. This is not a green cemetery. It’s a rock cemetery. One rock looks just like all the rest.
Finally, I found the perfect spot. VST’s headstone overlooks all of VC and The DunMovin’ House. VST always had to know what was happening around town. From his spot, C Street and all the excitement of the tourists can be seen and heard. From this little cemetery hill, the Washoe Zephyr Winds will gently blow from the west towards the east. From where we came together to where he left me alone. In my new little town, evening winds will pass over VC to me, connecting my past with my present.
On April 8th, we’ll meet in Virginia City one last time. Neighbors, friends, children, grandchildren. I hope the Sheriff stops by.
Donald did agree to set VST’s stone. Thank goodness that isn’t something I need to worry about. I’ll put a little heart in the concrete for good measure. With all the yards and yards of concrete work VST and I did over the decades, signing our pieces was something we always enjoyed.
After we’re done, we’ll have a meal at Virginia City’s finest restaurant, CafĂ© del Rio. So many happy memories were made on the side of Mt. Davidson, elevation 6200 ft. Although our life story ended on April 8th, 2020, it’s a story I’ll remember with love for the rest of my life.
More tomorrow.