Reflections from a Soldier’s Mom

In only a few short months, I’ll no longer be the mom of a deployed Master Sargent of the United States Air Force. For the last 25 years, I’ve been a military mom. There are no hidden benefits to being a military mom. No discounts or awards. No parades honoring us. When our children are deployed, there are not too many groups that remember us as we silently count the days until our kids come home. Blue Star Mothers of America offers support to each Mom while they worry in collective silence.

No one wants to become a member of American Gold Star Mothers. These mom’s have given the ultimate sacrifice with the loss of a child in the service. No one wants to get an invitation to that group. Their Mission statement shows direction while requiring fortitude. Finding strength in the fellowship of other Gold Star Mothers,  they strive to keep the memory of our sons and daughters alive by working to help veterans, those currently serving in the military, their families and our communities. No one asks for an invitation to that group.

My oldest son, Master Sargent J (MSJ), has been in the United States Air Force the longest. Now in the Air National Guard, he’s looking forward to retirement in a few short months.

I so remember the day VST and I drove him to a hotel near Sacramento, California to begin his journey towards boot camp in Texas and then beyond. A clunky high school graduate, he was half man, half child, skipping off on an adventure called life. VST and I cried our way home that day, not believing that the boy we both raised was going off to find his own way.

Years and years of training and dedication led him on a great career path. He patiently accepted every order treating it as the opportunity it was. His wife and children paid the price of hours, days, and weeks away from him during his service. Everything was winding down, with monthly soldiering taking time away from his family. Creating a successful business and raising three children, his hands were already full when he got orders for deployment to the Middle East at 42 years of age. 6 months in the desert.

When deployment orders come, young families put everything to the side. Plans to expand a business, vacation, get a new car, or do something new to the house are on hold. Everything comes to a stand still while making arrangements for the absence. My son’s deployment this time was especially difficult during the pandemic.

Mom’s are usually the last to get the news.

“Hey, Mom. Going to the desert. But, don’t worry. It’s a safe base. Safe. Safe. Really, Really Safe.”

That safe, really, really safe base was in harm’s way a few weeks ago. Calls stopped. Messages were short.

“I’m okay, Mom. I love you, Mom. Don’t worry, Mom. ”

Safe.

Safe.

Really, Really Safe.

Repeat those thoughts.

That’s what a military mom must do, over and over again. Don’t worry. Know you are loved. Know they are trained to survive and conquer. And pray. A lot.

Today, I’m sending off another care package. This one’s for Valentine’s Day. Hard to figure out what to send to a desert quite unlike my own addressed to a grown man of 42 who moved away at 18. Of course, what would a Gardener send? A tomato kit. What would a retired teacher send? Conversation Hearts. Lots of other little goodies filled the Flat Rate Shipping Box from USPS. There is a military discount at the post office not limited to mothers.

I filled the empty spaces in the box with prayers and love. Filled the box with good wishes and lots of wonderful memories. My son and those deployed with him deserve the prayers of a grateful nation. Without our soldiers around the world, things would surely not be as safe as they are today.

Look online for a ways you can support a soldier or his family. Troops are sent to places long distances from their homes and moms. If there is a base near you, contact them to see what programs are in place. If not, consider writing to a soldier that is deployed. Just because we are not at war, (at the present time), don’t forget that men and women are giving time out of their lives so we can be safe at home.

Be grateful for all the branches of our military and don’t forget to send prayers. It’s a scary time for our world right now for Mom’s everywhere.

More tomorrow.