Life is a series of hard choices. As a perfectionist, I’m always looking for the right one, while second guessing myself along the way. Funny, there are probably at least 100 correct paths in any given situation. It seems lately, I’ve been choosing the dark and unlit paths, taking life two steps at a time to get through the darkness. That can set a girl up for a few stumbles.
A new path through Widow’s Wilderness always looks fresh and lovely when starting out. Just a welcoming break in the dense forest, looking inviting and safe. It seems the minute you get off a known path, the pebbles turn to rocks and, pretty soon, the low hanging branches scratch your face a bit. Before long, you realize it wasn’t a path at all, but a dead end. Life can be that way.
Needing to laugh at myself a little, I can relate to a video on You Tube. You may want to look this one up. Simply called “The Backing Up Song”, it’s taken from an interview with a woman that survived a robbery and shooting at a liquor store. The lyrics tell her story. After a great television interview, her words were auto-tuned into a clever song. Today, she sings to me. Be sure to look this one up for a chuckle. Thank goodness this sweet woman was okay.
The Backin’ Up Song Original by The Gregory Brothers and a Kansas City Woman.
I’m backin’ up, backin’ up, backin’ up, backin’ up,
‘Cause my Daddy taught me good
I’m backin’ the hell outta there
And I’m like, “Oh My God”. Oh My God, My God”.
I’m backin’ up, backin’ up, backin’ up, backin’ up
‘Cause my daddy taught me good.
And I think maybe I should faint.
But I don’t. (NO.)
My daddy taught me goooood.
Sometimes it’s just necessary to drop to our little knees and back up out of what ever situation we find unhealthy, unpleasant, disrespectful, or beneath our status in life. That could be something as simple as the choice of a movie, or something far more complex. The key is to know when to drop to your little knees and back it on out.
One year ago, I was in the wilderness of my first year of widowhood. The terrain has certainly cleared with less days of dense fog. But, I’m far from out of the woods. I can see more clearly with each step away from April 8, 2020. Looking forward to a cozy holiday season, I’m lucky I can back it up right into Winterpast to reflect and continue to heal.
As widows, our most important duty is to give ourselves time, space, self love, and emotional support. Somedays, just rest in faith. Always, we need to find humor in our mistaken paths, and keep on moving forward. The world will keep spinning, even if it gets dark before dinner.
From the bottom of my heart, I thank MY daddy for teaching me good.
Enjoy today.