A man without a woman is like a ship without a sail.
Is like a boat without a rudder, a fish without a tail.
A man without a woman is like a wreck upon the sand.
And if there’s one thing worse in this universe,
It’s a woman,
I said a woman,
Yes.
It’s a woman without a man. Alfred Williams, 1907
VST was mine for 32 years. I have a spoon rest in my kitchen which reads “Lucky Girl”. Reminding me of how blessed I’ve been in life, even though somedays can be pretty darn lonely.
Turning back the clock to August of 1987, I was a stunning, bright, and beautiful young single mother tending to two little boys. Madder than a wet hen at life and my predicament, I went through each day quite certain that I’d never need anyone more than myself. For goodness sakes, I had a full set of Corel. Indestructible dishes you could drop, throw, kick, or knock around with no chipping or breakage. I had matching towels in various colors. I had my own lawn mower and garden tools. No. No. No. I needed nothing, especially not a mate. How foolish.
On the other side of town, VST was pretending he wasn’t damaged goods, as well. VST was a head turning bachelor from all outward appearances. In the morning, he jogged for miles. After work, he rode more miles on his bike. His new home gave him a sense of pride and hope for the future. HIS future would be without the complications of a relationship with a woman. Bachelorhood fit him perfectly. He kept his body in tip top shape. Eating right, enjoying his three children, and making new friends, he didn’t need anything more serious. No. No. No. He needed nothing, especially not a mate. How foolish.
September 5th, at a class reunion, we clashed like two opposing weather fronts. Having been high school friends over a decade before, things were complicated now. Five children complicated. Besides. No. No. No. We needed nothing, especially not a mate.
He proposed eleven days later.
I said yes.
Thinking back to our time together, our partnership wasn’t the trendy modern day romance with all chores weighted and split 50/50. We both had to wear many hats to make things work. There wasn’t a way to divide things 50/50. Besides, how boring it would’ve been to have a checklist life. Sometimes it was fun to change lanes and trade jobs. When he was unable, I’d pick up his duties. He’d do the same for me. We both gave 100%. Not looking at each other to analyze percentages performed, but, both looking ahead as we pulled the load together. And a load it was.
As a single guy, VST was never a ship without a sail, a boat without a rudder, or a fish without a tail. He managed to cruise along at a good clip, enjoying life. He’s set his compass heading and trimmed his sails to perfection.
I, as that single mom, was on my own course. I think we moved along parallel journeys quite well, considering the storms we’d endured. We didn’t run aground or get stuck in the shallows. We kept our lives running in shipshape condition.
Looking over the 32 years, the love that kept us afloat was something we couldn’t have imagined. Love that was patient. Kind. Without envy. Not boastful. Not proud. It didn’t dishonor others. It wasn’t self seeking or easily angered. It kept no record of wrongs and didn’t delight in evil. Rejoicing in the truth, it protected us. Always trusting, strengthened by hope and perseverance. Love was a wonderful place to be. A blessing I shared with VST for decades.
Now, it’s my turn at the helm. So glad I’m not that 30-Something girl anymore, insistent life would be better alone. This Senior Citizen isn’t ready to abandon ship due to rogue winds of loneliness and despair. Nope. I’m enjoying blue skies and happy trails. Life is good. Such a lucky girl was I to have shared the journey with my VST, and lucky still to possess the strength and vision to chart my own solitary course, for now.