Dear God,
Do you have a minute to talk? Through sheer faith in you, I’ve made it through some pretty fierce times recently. As the last of winter’s raging winds howl outside my house, I decided there are some things I’ve needed to say for awhile.
First of all, Thank you, God, for carrying me through the raging fires of Cancer, the loss of VST, and the loneliness of widowhood. You’ve been beside me through nights when the loss was blacker than the darkness. Lonelier than prison walls. You’ve also been there when happiness overwhelmed the sads. Present for all of my 65 years, you’ve sometimes cheered me on, and other times wept at the poor choices I’ve made along the way. I’ve only needed to ask for strength to carry on, and you’ve always provided what’s been needed in my life. For all those gifts, I’m eternally grateful.
So many times in my life, you’ve answered my prayers. You’ve given me beautiful and healthy babies to love and children to raise, a husband that cherished me throughout our lives together, and a multitude of blessings, too numerous to count. When my prayers weren’t answered, I accepted that your plan would unfold, even if it wasn’t the plan we would’ve wished for. You’ve offered a heavenly sanctuary for VST and everyone else ever loved and lost to heaven. In that, you have answered my prayers with the knowledge that VST is safe and happy with you.
A gift I could use right about now is clarity. Clarity in decision making. In relationships. In choosing new people to share my life. Clarity in life, helping me to rise above fear and doubt. As a mere mortal woman, the waters of life can get muddied. A few road signs along the way would sure help as I make my way in this complicated world.
Today, as my friends and I were shopping at a Garden Center, I noticed your smile in the spring flowers there. As the wind made leaves dance, I heard your whispers of happiness. As stray snow flakes fell from a random cloud on high, I saw you wave to me. The natural beauty with which you have blanketed the high desert in which I live is a treat for my eyes. I feel the need to thank you for that natural beauty surrounding me every time I leave Winterpast.
Lord, in my world, I smile more often now. You’ve blessed me with friends and family that have supported me through the last year. You’ve provided for my every need, through days of doctors, cancer, and death. You carried me through the flames as I lost VST, preventing me from being burned in the process. You’ve helped me to heal through faith, hope, trust, and love. For these gifts I am truly grateful.
It has been said that “She who kneels before God can stand before anything.” I kneel now, thanking you for the recent blessing you have bestowed on me. Truly answering my quiet and heartfelt prayers, I thank you for hearing my plea and answering me with the beautiful gift of love and peace.
God, I hope you rest sometimes. This old world is a place full of busy demons. Please, take in some happiness and wonder at the beauty that is your creation. Don’t give up on us. We are doing the best we can in very hard times.
Thanks for listening, God. If you run into my sweet and humble VST, would you please give him a special “Hello” from me? Fill him in on the happiness that’s surrounding me these days. It is because of your love and care that I can and will go on. That goes for VST, too.
With Love and Adoration,
Your Faithful Servant,
Joy