In this mask covered world in which we live, it seems an impossibility to make new friends. No way to show a smile or concern, it becomes difficult to direct a new conversation towards someone that can’t see half a face in which to gauge intent. So, we all just hurry in and scurry out, missing those moments which were once used to connect with others. In doing so, we miss a million chances to make new friendships.
Since April and my move to this new town, I’ve become best of friends with myself. I know all my favorite habits. Opinions on television shows. Best dinner routines. Favorite snacks. Things that bring me down and those that cheer me up. I know them all. While quarantining, I’ve become an advocate and best friend to one. Myself. Never have I been so alone, yet never have I had such great company. I’ve slowed to a pace in which I listen to my own voice, checking on whether new opinions still match up with my heart’s core values.
The garden has talked to me in brilliant roses shaded in yellows and coral. The birds throw in their opinions as they flit and fly here and there. Oliver speaks his peace, giving me heck if I don’t grant him the proper amount of respect. The trees watch over us all, still holding back their leaves of green. The garden has a lot to say about my mental state. Right now, it says I’ve been a little less diligent on keeping the grounds spotless. Perhaps a little more consumed I’ve been about the days that are rolling on towards April 8 and VST’s heavenersary.
Thank goodness the phone does ring from time to time. My bestie, CC, keeps tabs on my shenanigans. Speaking to her, I hear my true self. She knows exactly what’s in my heart and what’s missing. Thank goodness someone does. When I get a little ahead of myself, she reminds me that I need to take things just a little slower. Our best conversations of late have been those of real girl secrets told over giggles and sighs. Secrets you tell someone that shares only best wishes for you. To have a CC in your life makes you a very blessed person, indeed.
CC snapped our wedding pictures the day VST and I married. Quietly capturing two young lovers exchanging vows, she gave me the greatest gift all those years ago. A visual feast of one of the best days for VST and me. The ghosts of those gone before gaze back from my wedding album. Our parents all gone ahead, now have fun with VST in heaven. A sister, dear old friends, and acquaintances, remain only in images on paper, now. CC caught all that in pictures, giving us the best wedding present we could’ve asked for.
Through the years, we’ve shared child rearing, a house once, long ago, divorce nightmares, dance floors and dates, 2nd weddings, and cancer’s theft of our beloved husbands. Now, we share widowhood. It cloaks our conversations in odd ways. We both know what the other experienced. There are days when we discuss the hows and whys of our widowhoods, and there are days we’d both like to forget.
These days, we have lots to discuss and laugh about in the ways of Senior Citizen Dating. At our age, we might be expected to be in dual rockers, knitting socks and sweaters for grandchildren. But, we’re far from that stage of life. Having a best friend that knows me better than anyone else in the world is comforting. As we exchange findings in our dating research, we’ve found new topics in which to howl with laughter. Laughter remains the best cure for what ails anyone, and we find our conversations delightfully healing.
The day I met CC, we were at a community meeting, protesting proposed apartments in our little suburb. CC and I talked after the meeting and it was obvious. We were both interested in our quiet neighborhood, wanting it to remain that way. There was also a fiery spark of friendship between us. With one Hello, we became friends of the very best kind, long before the day of masks and political correctness, in a time when a smile to another could be reciprocated and returned.
As Joni says,
“And the seaons, they go round and round
and the painted ponies go up and down.
We’re captive on the carousel of time
We can’t return, we can only look
Behind from where we came,
And go round and round and round in the circle game.
I’m so lucky CC is in my orbital space. I’m glad we took a chance on Friendship over forty years ago on that spring day as we held babies, our own. Riding those ponies through the seasons, we are, she and I. Friends to the end.
Say Hello to people today. Smile at your neighbors. Take a chance and wave. You just never know when you might meet a new friend.