Reflecting on my relationship with VST, I’ve been thinking about what it was that made US work so well. Thirty-three years is a very long time to live with someone, while still wishing it would continue forever. Day after day, that’s how we found our lives, until his forever ended. As normal people do, we had our differences and spats, but the underlying desire to be together couldn’t be denied. While in the same space, carrying out totally different tasks, we were at peace. It wasn’t just by chance. We were a match.
A few days ago, it was suggested that I complete an online quiz to identify my Love Languages. I’d heard of Love Languages before, but didn’t exactly know what they were or why they were important. So, I took the quiz. In which the five Love Languages were listed as follows.
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
- Acts of Service
- Words of Affirmation
- Receiving of Gifts.
Before ever beginning the quiz, I knew where I stood. I could answer for VST, as well. Spending time with those we love was our main love Langauge. Gifts or pretty words didn’t sway us one way or another. Time spent with either of us was a true sign of caring. VST and I spent a lot of time with friends and family. Those hours with loved ones gave us many happy memories that we often shared together.
The least important to us was gift giving, and so, we had few traditions in our married life that included wrapped gifts. Christmas Eve was our special day to shop together. Each of us could pick out whatever we wanted knowing it would be the perfect gift, and not require the frustration of return lines. The stores were always quiet on Christmas Eve morning, making it enjoyable and romantic to select gifts for each other and head home to holiday fun.
Birthdays and Anniversary’s were celebrated with a card and meal. Again, the time we spent together was the most beautiful thing we could share. I would rather have been with VST more than anyone else in the world. Going to the dump? I was the first in the truck. To Lowe’s on a lumber buying expedition? Let me get my shoes. The task at hand didn’t matter because we were a twosome. How many times we were house-flippin-grungy, holding hands, and talking on the way into Lowe’s. People would often smile at us, two cute little old senior citizens that were still sweet on each other. True.
Acts of Service came to mind when I thought about all the things VST did for me, just because. He knew I was 100% capable of dealing with whatever needed to be accomplished in our lives. Yet, he would never send me out to handle tough tasks alone. We’d work together. His acts of love and devotion when caring for his parents made their last years on Earth heavenly, as we shared our time and love with them on a daily basis. This was the man I was lucky enough to love.
I patiently took the quiz, with the results right in line with what I already knew. The correlation between the results and the success of our relationship was clear. We spoke the same language during our marriage. 100%.
- Quality Time –40%
- Physical Touch –25%
- Acts of Service — 25%
- Words of Affirmation — 7%
- Receiving Gifts — 3%
I had to laugh, as I thought back to the reunion and our first dance together. It was evident in that first 3 minute interaction that we had two of the Languages covered. His comment about the brilliant blue-ness of my eyes never phased me, as I told him he was full of bovine scat. The real character of this man would be reflected in his actions. It was all right there in that first dance and never changed much throughout the years.
For fun, take the quiz, of which are many to choose from online. See if your Love Languages are what you thought they were. I didn’t need the quiz to know VST and I were speaking the same language. I miss the quality time spent with him more than anything else. Thank goodness we made the most of it, going through life.