Thirty-three years ago today, January 23, 1988, VST and I exchanged vows before family and friends. It was a small and sweet ceremony, made meaningful by our own little touches. We were in our early thirties, grabbing at golden rings and hanging on for dear life. As we become one, our family grew into a whirling blend of two eleven year olds (VST’s Twins), two eight-year-olds, (one from each of us), and a six year old, (mine). Five wonderful kids that made our life exciting and full throughout our years together.
That morning, I remember being the classic jittery bride. With the important women in my life giving me strength, the morning was full of all the normal preparations. I remember lots of laughter and fun putting the last minute finishes on everything. Auntie TJ added sparkle to the morning, along with Bestie Friend and CC. They were all there to celebrate the day. As I waited for our moment to arrive, the beautiful reflection in the mirror was someone I had yet to meet. So beautiful and young. Hopeful, I was scared out of my mind.
All the hassles of months before melted away that morning. Remembering the day we went to tell our parents made me smile. VST’s parents were gracious and welcoming. His mother told me many times over the years she knew the very moment VST fell in love with me. He changed. She could see it in his eyes. Who’s to argue with your mother-in-law, right? She soon changed her title to Mother-In-Love. Through the years, she became my mom, too.
On the day we told my parents, my dad wanted to know if this was one of those “Spur of the Moment” things. I really don’t know what he meant, as communication with dad was never very clear. Everyone quietly counted on fingers, sure the speed in which we married had to do with a sixth child. We fooled them all. The stork had no deliveries at our house. Our family was complete at five.
My mother was aghast that I wore a traditional wedding gown, but wear it I did. No, I rocked it. VST wore an amazing grey suit that was tailored to fit him perfectly. There we were, two kids at the alter, vowing to love and cherish each other until death. Taking on life, we’d both give our marriage undivided attention and focus. We weren’t going to allow anything to derail this new union, honoring and respecting each from that day on. That’s exactly what we managed to do for over 32 years. Not always in the most graceful manner, but, that’s life, right?
Our parents and friends quickly came to admire all the things we loved about each other. Blessed with their support and love, they watched us find our way through life. For that, we were so very grateful.
Last week, I found the anniversary card VST gave me 365 days ago. Through the years, we had abandoned reciprocal gifts, but, always found just the right cards to exchange. He always took me, his Darlin’, for a celebratory meal. We held hands, just a year ago. He still turned my head as he held my heart in his heart. He was the last person I wanted to see before dreams came, and the first person I wanted to greet in the morning. He was the best person with which to share morning coffee while exchanging opinions about the morning news. He remained my groom, and I, his bride, even though we were no longer those kids at the alter.
Today, I’ll embrace peace and quiet as I reflect on our years together. Blessed to have the marriage we did, we shared so many wonderful adventures. I know he’ll be with me today, his angel wings surrounding Oliver and me, in Winterpast, the home he bought for us. God frosted my world in snow today, reminded me of that afternoon at 2 PM, when I was the girl in white.
I love you sweet, VST. Happy Anniversary. Save me a spot next to you in heaven. Until then, fare thee well.
This song is worth a listen. I send it to you, VST.
10,000 Miles
Sung by Mary Chapin Carpenter
Fare thee well,
My own true love.
Farewell for a while
I’m going away.
But I’ll be back
Though I go ten thousand miles.
Ten thousand miles,
My own true love,
Ten thousand miles or more.
The rocks may melt
And the seas may burn
If I should not return.
Oh, don’t you see
That lonesome dove
Sitting on an ivy tree:
She’s weeping for
Her own true love,
As I shall weep for mine.
Oh come ye back,
My own true love,
And stay a while with me.
If I had a friend
All on this earth
You’ve been a friend to me.
