Moving to a new town as a total stranger has left me with little human contact, leaving me a little sad. Because of this, it became apparent early on, that I would need to find some friends. I decided join a community club. Covid has rendered many groups inactive, due to stringent requirements regarding meeting places. Many seniors aren’t comfortable in large groups and internet meetings are often technologically stressful. My new group is struggling with these very problems, leaving everyone remembering and wishing for the olden days. With turmoil in the world, many after suffering from anger, sadness and fear.
Political service groups in this day and age are a hotbed of emotions. Without going into the politics, my group’s no different. Members are taking names and sides. Feelings are easily hurt, and frustrations are running high. This, coupled with the fact that I hardly know any of the members, led me to an interesting situation last week.
Publicity Committee Chair sounded like a fun little assignment when offered to me. A simple release of meeting times and speaker topics once a month to the media. Nothing too heavy there. It sounded like something I’d sandwich between my days of writing and be quite happy with my contribution to the group. I should’ve asked a few more questions.
On my first assignment, I made a few errors, leaving the women that were watching over me scrambling to fix things. Emotions were running a little high, and quite frankly, it overwhelmed me. In fact, I emailed the two ladies that I’d be resigning. Thankfully they are more experienced, wiser, and not in the new widow category. Concerned and supportive, they both came to see me and we worked things out.
During this meeting, the obvious cause of my unhappiness became apparent to me. My actual frustration and decision to leave the group had nothing to do with the group itself. It had to do with Anger, Fear, and Sadness. Carefully examining my own feelings, I found, for me, they are divided equally. When anger flared, flames were fanned by underlying situations in the daily news. When my sadness oozed out, it was complicated by anger and fear. When my fear surfaced, it was compounded by anger and sadness. The three amigos of unhappiness, were feeding an emotional bonfire.
As I talked to these sweet new friends, it became clear that I hadn’t considered the real reasons behind my ultimate frustrations. When I did, it was like deflating balloons. While chairing the publicity committee, I need to be mindful as I make press releases and club notices. That’s all there is too it. Thank goodness these women were wise and really anxious for me to stay in their group.
After they left, I reflected on these three emotions and how they’ve haunted me through widowhood. Intertwined like a ball of snakes, one could easily be misidentified for another. They’ve stolen from the quality of my life, at times, blocking out happiness. Now, when feeling one, I look for the other two hiding in the background. When examining the three together, appropriate life adjustments have come a bit easier.
My ultimate goal is to choose happiness, but not if the other three feelings are hiding behind the door, unresolved. That wouldn’t work anyway. They are very sneaky little emotions, clouding everything and ruining a lot.
Publicity Chairperson is going to be a rewarding position that I’ll complete, as agreed. When meeting other members that are either angry, fearful, or sad, we can join hands and talk about our feelings together. This world needs everyone stop and to count to ten. Just breathe. Things will be better each day, as we find our way. The sadness comes with the realization that normal is different now. In the meanwhile, put on a pot of coffee and have your Besties over for a visit. Try not to spend to much time with Anger, Fear, and Sadness. Hear them. Thank them. Show them the door. Happiness and laughter are waiting right around the corner for an invite.