Don’t Mess With the Widow

There are some days life requires you to put on your big-girl pants and stand up for yourself. Sometimes, there isn’t another person that can take the wheel. That someday came last Friday. But, I’ll start from the beginning.

After months and months of dealing with a professional, my relationship with this person finally ended last week. Last fall, I needed a service and this person came highly recommended. The service needed was easily provided by this professional and we agreed on a price, although the final bill ended up being higher.

With details carefully discussed, I trusted this person would be true to his word. I wasn’t requesting brain surgery or anything quite so serious. Just a service that he’d provide for an agreed price. With a hand shake we were off.

After 9 months and four visits to retrieve, repair, retrieve, repair, and retrieve the project, it was finally corrected and finished. A professional project shouldn’t have taken this long. It wasn’t an oil painting or a lengthy novel. Two months later, when I needed the item, I realized, ANOTHER glaring error.

To get the project corrected and finished, I called upon inner strength, courage, intelligence, patience, and organizational skills. I had to negotiate for corrected results in a professional way. I researched government agencies that would help me if I didn’t find cooperation. Then, I went to work.

Snail-mail letters are highly effective when dealing with problems in life. If you have a keyboard and printer, take the time to write down facts about your problem in an organized way, avoiding feelings. One thing to remember about effective negotiations is that things go well when you leave out emotions like anger. Just the facts, Ma’am.

I was careful to remind the gentleman that taking advantage of a widow (which I most certainly was at the time) is a terrible thing to do. No one should EVER take advantage of a widow and expect to get away with it. The bible talks about that.

After receiving the letter, the professional corrected the project for the last time. After examining his work very carefully, I agreed to accept the finished project. It was then I quietly asked about the refund that I certainly deserved after nine months of nonsense.

??????

I was offered a dinner and a show.

As a woman, always remember to consider all options before speaking. Know your bottom line. I did consider this offer for about 15 seconds before I replied, “That’s not going to work for me.”

In the next breath he offered me a complete refund that was gratefully and graciously accepted. With a hand shake, our story came to a close.

As a senior citizen, (perhaps widowed), remember that you have a voice. It’s not okay for younger, more professional or educated people to take advantage. Your time, energy, and frustration are all worth something. Right is right. No one will advocate for you better than YOU, but it’s up to you to speak your mind.

The professional and I shook hands on the deal and all’s well that ends well. My refund came in the mail yesterday, paid in full. Thank goodness there are still people that are honorable when things go wrong. No hard feelings. Sometimes you’re the windshield, sometimes your the bug. I wasn’t going to be the bug this time. Don’t ever accept victim status. Not healthy.

Whatever you do today, take care of loose ends. If you are in the middle of righting a wrong, take a deep breath and continue. The truth will prevail. Patience as you carry on.

More tomorrow.