Grieving Gardener

Wednesday evening, leaving the church at 7:15, the day was gone. By the time I got home, it was dark. Autumn is my favorite time of year.

I’ve been searching for a way to help my community. It certainly isn’t through politics, which is a run away train headed for disaster. My service organization a great place for like minded people to gather and visit, but to think we could change anything at this point is foolish. But, Baptist on Main is another story. Churches are meant to do important things to help, no matter how small.

I love arriving early to Wednesday service. While the choir practiced their gorgeous selections of Sunday, I caught up on a little reading. I chose the Songs of Solomon, that being the place from which I chose the name Winterpast for my home. Such beautiful poetry, I wish I could come up with a visual of Solomon. Later that evening, Pastor C talked about Solomon’s life without knowing what I’d been reading earlier in the evening.

Deep in thought, I was interrupted by one of my favorite parishioners, Song Bird. She and her husband are dear people who bring light and smiles wherever they go. She sings in the choir, while her husband plays the drums in the band. When I met them, she’d been suffering with severe back pain for two years. One day this summer, she got up and it was healed. She took off her bulky brace and has had no more pain. Just like that. Such a blessing.

She had been wanting to get in touch with me about a request. There are many elders in the church that are shut-ins or just at home recuperating from surgeries or illness. Would I be interested in forming a committee to find services for church elders in need? Just like that, it clicked. That’s a worthy cause. My worthy cause. What more worthy cause could their be? Yes. I would love to help.

Another wonderful woman came to join our conversation who happens to work at the Senior Center. She is also one of my angel ladies, the three of us forming a Coalition of Love and Light. Hang on, our dear Seniors, the cavalry is forming. We’re on the way to help. If you aren’t lucky enough to live in a small town, I can assure you, you are missing out. Small town folks are aware of others. Broad smiled waving occurs when you pass one another on the street. People take walks and stop to chat. Neighbors know each other’s names. Garage doors that are up invite visitors. Garage doors that are down too long invite a knock at the door to make sure everything is okay. Privacy is respected but friendships are encouraged.

On Fourth of July, our town’s boutique packed up in the back of a box truck and moved to Out of Town Park. The community had gathered at the park that day to enjoy food, friends, and fun, while anticipating fireworks at sunset. With a set of steps, women could shop during the day. The shop owner sold almost everything she brought. The local booster’s club from a small town on America’s Loneliest Highway brought the best pulled pork sandwiches I have ever eaten. A variety of crock pots held homemade pork. A dad cranked out curly fries from a small peeler, deep frying them one potato at a time. The list goes on. Small town life at its best.

In the middle of the little church, as people arrived for the service, three women stood with heads together thinking of all the wonderful things we could do for our Senior Citizens. Sometimes, it only takes a phone call to make someone’s life better. Meals on Wheels, a number for Social Services, or just time to talk on the phone. I already know I want to start a writing group at our church. Everyone has amazing stories. I love to read as much as I like to write. Teaching people to write is the best fun of all. Yes, there are many helpful things to do in our little town.

Pastor C asked us to begin with testimonials of good things in our life. Song Bird had the most adorable story to share. Unwanted calls irritate her. Day in and day out, the phone rings, like it does for us all. “Is the head of the household in?” Who of us hasn’t been in the middle of something important when this happens. It was making her irritated, which in turn was not good for her back. In the shower, one morning, God spoke to her.

With divine inspiration, she’d listen to the callers, and then, THEY would listen to her. She had something to ask them and she planned to do just that.

“Carl, Do you know Jesus as your personal savior?” “Jennifer, have you accepted Christ?” “Bill, do you KNOW Jesus?” She had a plan. At least one time a day, she would witness for Christ. Done.

Never stop looking for ways to make your community better. It could take something as simple as offering neighbors some excess peaches, as one member did. Put some garden produce on the front drive with the word FREE. Sit outside in the evening and saying Hi to everyone that passes by.

Think about saying YES the next time the community needs help. New friends make an old like sparkle a bit. I’ve certainly found that to be true in this dusty little town on a wide spot in the road in the high desert of Northwestern Nevada.

I’ll be back on Monday. Thank you dear readers!!

Wednesday nights I go to church for inspiration. I’m never disappointed. This week was no exception.

Funny how in any organization the same people do all the heavy lifting all the time. Worker bees just carry the load, because, most times, it isn’t too heavy for them. At Baptist on Main, it’s hard to tell who the workers are because they’re always smiling and relaxed. Their contributions are a gift to the rest of us. Surely God is pleased.

There’s the cleaning crew, of which I’m a member. Meeting on Thursday mornings, we sanitize and scrub. A secretarial duties. Bankers and bill payers. Lawn mowers. And one fill-in sign attendant. Me.

I’m helping one of our church celebrities. A fabulous hugger, she smiles broadly, welcoming every new visitor with her broad smile and a warm “Hello”. I certainly remember our first meeting. She notices when someone is down and does her best to provide comfort. Her life has had some bumps along the way. Like everyone, she knows sorrow. At the moment she knows pain, being one week past a complete hip replacement.

Aging, we may all need some new parts. Hard to say. Along with pretty decent skin, I also have good joints. Not much mileage on the knees or hips, they move properly and without pain. VST wasn’t lucky in that department. He suffered for years with crippling arthritis which attacked all his joints. He had a elbow he couldn’t straighten and a paralyzed hand. Knees supported by cumbersome braces. A neck that didn’t turn without pain. Through it all, he chose his medical course, never replacing anything. Strong willed, he did life his way.

This very huggable church lady asked a favor of me. Would I? Could I? Might I consider changing the inspirational sign on Main Street for her until she felt better? Of course, I would, could, and happily accepted my new job. With inspirational quotes already selected until year’s end and full a box of letters, this is an easy job that may change someone’s life. Driving on main, lost souls may read our message and come on in. Of course, I’d love to help.

Before Wednesday’s service, the choir and band practice for Sunday’s worship service. Free music, friendship, and the holy spirit BEFORE the pastor starts at 6 PM. Informal and family like, we’re studying Proverbs. If you read one Proverb a day, you’ll finish in a month. If you read 5 Psalms a day, you also finish in a month. I’m learning so much through our Bible studies. Somehow the pastor always chooses topics that speak directly to my spiritual needs, applying the words to 2021. Funny how that happens every time I worship there.

My new job is an important one. The sign and letters are very old and fragile and care needs to be given when handling them. Attention to spelling is a must. There was no apostrophe for God’s, so I needed to improvise and turn a comma upside down. When I was finished, the message read PUT YOUR HOPE IN GOD’S UNFAILING LOVE. A good message for us all to remember.

This week, the Pastor began the service asking for testimony from our small gathering. People were eager to share the blessings received. How uplifting! Messages of despair and relief. Everyone in the group was smiling, while the pastor agreed that we need to have a Testimonial service once a week. It was better than any medicine. Just listing to people talk about good things happening in their lives. Praise God for his blessings, big or small. Smiles and laughter transformed our group. Positive attitudes are what we all need right now, in this, the darkest of days.

In my life in the desert, I’m so thankful for every falling leaf and soft breeze. The moonlight last night was enchanting. Sneaky mustangs pose like lawn ornaments, munching on manicured grass. Neighbors are out more, enjoying the night’s reprieve from the last of summer’s heat. The Widower of the Pine’s driveway is a new hangout spot under the stars. Being a gentleman, he’d never let a lady walk back home alone in the dark, and so he takes my hand and leads me back to Winterpast. A God that loves me. Family. Friends. Oliver. A happy heart. A lovely neighborhood. What more could a red neck girl want?

That’s my testimonial for today. Find your grateful heart. Talk about it. Tell someone. There is nothing better than sharing something wonderful with a friend! More tomorrow.

Hard to believe that I am looking at my second holiday season at Winterpast. Last year, Miss Firecracker and I had the most beautiful Thanksgiving dinner for two. Roast turkey and all the fixings, we laughed and talked like there was no tomorrow. It was a really wonderful day, one that we both worried might not be so great. 2020 was brutal for us both, as it was for so many families. That was the year we both lost our husbands to cancer. In weeks, our lives were shattered.

Last year, the governor had limits on the number of people that could sit at the table. Who, in their right minds, would have believed that in the USA government would dictate our holidays? Certainly not me.

This year, sharing Thanksgiving preparations with WP, invitations for eight were created today and will be sent out in today’s mail. How fun to meet more new people in our little town!!! Family and singles will be joining us for turkey and toasts. New friends that are still strangers to me will enjoy the day at Winterpast. Miss Firecracker is making new friends in her life, too. It will be hard to top the time we spent on that autumn Thursday in 2020.

It amazes me that all our creative needs can be found on the internet. By just Googling “Thanksgiving Invitations”, many ideas appeared. It just so happened that the perfect idea was among them. Easy peazy.

I don’t know how much you depend on a calendar, but, I find them deflating. Just when you think you can catch a breath, there are fifty more things your could jot down each day. Just exhausting. I much prefer a day with eight hours empty and waiting. I usually have at least five chores waiting to be completed. If really energetic, I can add five more. Much less taxing than looking with dread at scheduled events.

WP is a scheduler. He computerizes his life’s log while I prefer to use pencil and eraser. He knows what life holds for the next four months. I prefer to stick to the next week. Less erasing that way.

That being said, I do have a spa date on Friday. Facials and a wonderful day away from yard, computer, Oliver, and the phone. Just a quiet day to reflect and rejuvenate. Made even more decadent by the fact that I will come home to a yard in progress. The gardener promised that the decomposed granite should be spread, finishing the front yard by Saturday night. I’m looking forward to the Himalayan Salt Room, and the Serenity Sleeping Room with the zero gravity chairs, low lighting, and Zen music. Deliciously cool and quiet, I can hardly wait to sneak a little nap.

Finished off with a spa luncheon, the day should be perfect. The last time I visited, they served the best salad. Avocado, Dungeness Crab claw, fresh corn, jicama, and lettuce, with pita chips on the side. Not just any Pita Chips. Ones that I’m pretty sure were 50% butter. Soft and warm, they were the perfect compliment for this salad, which I intend to order again.

This time, I’m getting a facial, another new experience for this red neck girl. Massages were booked up four to six weeks out. Luckily, I’ve been blessed with great skin. Surely not from lotions and potions. Just lucky in that way. Never had problems with unwanted moles or deep wrinkles, although my 65 years are evident. What if there ARE some fabulous products that can make things even better? I have been blessed with so many good things lately, I’ve no right to ask for another miracle. It will be nice to close my eyes and get moisturized.

Soon, the Halloween decorations need to come out. It turns out all the kids never come down my street because they hang out at WP’s. He actually turns on his porch light to attract them. I’ll move the action to his place and chip in for some candy. We ought to be able to have some fun watching the kiddos come and go.

With only ten weeks until the holidays really kick into high gear, it’s never to early to start thinking about your guest list. Goodness, I am becoming my mother, fretting about these things before the first day of fall is here. Blame it on the Halloween decorations at Walmart and the early purchase of candy for the kids. With shortages, you can never be too prepared. Have a great day. J

Threads of my little town weave their way through my heart every day. It’s been over a year since Aloha Maiden started taking care of my hair. Before then, it was hit or miss. Visiting this shop or that, my heart remained in Fresno with my hair stylist, Da Girl. For over thirty years, we shared gleeful squeals and heart wrenching gasps, as we dodged or embraced every twist and turn life threw our way. We raised our kids together. We became first time Grandma’s while always remembering we were beauties, first and foremost. I miss her so much.

When I moved, battered and nearly broken, my realtor gave me some Welcome Home presents. One was a haircut at the local salon. My little town is strange. Just when you are sure there’s nothing here except dust and sage brush, another gem pops up. People drive through to get from Point A to Point B, never stopping to investigate. Good thing. We like it the way it is. Plenty of hidden treasures for us.

Salon 360 tends to the beauty needs of all kinds of women, making them lovely. They cut or add hair. Change the color. Add eyelashes. Share the latest beauty tips. They massage and listen. The women of Salon 360 are angels with scissors and snips. I went to seek help for tired toes.

Not just were the toes tired, they’d found a life of their own. Just a wee bit wild. My cold had derailed my normal appointment for a pedicure, and as everyone knows, nails wait for nothing. Aloha Maiden had her job cut out for her. On Mondays the shop is normally closed so we had the place all to ourselves. The luxury of massaging chairs and swirling water was not lost on me. As the hour ticked by, both feet were restored to a presentable look. She is an artist.

Chatting away, I realized that over the last year, Aloha Maiden has become such a friend. She helped me through my first days in town. She always remembered to ask about my “Word of the Month”. For my new readers, I will explain.

Each month after VST passed was more unthinkable than the last. On the first month, I realized the only thing that would help me navigate from one day to the next was a focus word. Something that would remind me of a value shared between VST and me, representing who we were as a couple. Month One happened to be three words. Okay, Okay. This word thing was my idea, so I could change the rules a little. Three words. Food. Shelter. Clothing. In those first few days, if I didn’t remember those three words, I could have walked naked and hungry through the snow to get the mail. Yes. I had to get dressed, eat, and stay inside during the April snow storms of 2020. A representative word was chosen each month.

Food. Shelter. Clothing.

Friendship.

Love Everlasting.

Adventure.

Faith.

Happiness.

Truth.

Aloha.

Rejoice.

Respect.

Optimism.

Acceptance.

Each month, while the old me was falling apart as the new me was rebuilding, I’d use the word of the month as a life raft carry me through. Each word held thousands of memories VST and I made together. Each one was a little retreat in which I could rest for just a minute and catch my breath. Acceptance came in the 12th month, in which the words after that became mine, and mine alone. When I became overwhelmed, I would think of the word and start replaying representative memories.

Christmas 2020 was going to be a sad and lonely day, being another first. As the months rolled toward winter, for each word, I bought one present. Some being personalized, they remained sealed when they arrived. Wrapping them with love, I wrote messages of encouragement on the outside, along with a note to myself. When Christmas came, I had gifts to open, and notes from the journey along the way. I can’t tell you what a beautiful experience that was. A way to cradle myself on a private and beautiful Christmas morning with the most special memories and words. With me, it’s always the words that get me through. Aloha Maiden recognized that from the start, and became part of my 12 months of love and hope.

There we were, just two locals talking about high school homecoming and other red neck news. Nope. No longer an outsider. No longer the grieving widow. Just the pamperer and pamperee enjoying the latest news.

Pedicures are a new experience for me. Pampering is something foreign. Not a monthly line item for this farm girl. Well, not until now, anyway. Massages are wonderful. Pedicures between friends are a delight. Salon 360. Named well, because as soon as one treatment is done, I want to turn around and head right back for a different treatment. Have a great day! Find some happiness along the way!

I get goosebumps from the tiniest of perfect things. Cheryl’s leaves as they turn in this brilliant season. Star filled Northern Nevada nights, so clear you could reach out and touch them. Ninja Neighbor’s BBQ drifting over Winterpast on a early evening breeze. A phone call from a dear friends living far away. Prayers answered for safe and love-filled days as my life’s journey continues. The scent from a bar of the finest milk chocolate. I journal about the best parts of each day. A playful glance. A beautiful sunset. I add to it all the time. I’m rich with wonder. (Rearranged from I Am Her, M.H. Clark, Justine Edge– Amazon).

In our lives, there are a million tiny, perfect things around us. From ants to the mustangs that roam my streets, life is brilliantly beautiful. Each day, I’m to live in the moment and enjoy the riches of the right now. Focus my brain on the day at hand, because, tomorrow may never come. As VST would often remind me, “Can’t go nowhere on yesterday’s train”. Sorry. Even though he was a Dr. of Psychology, we loved speaking Red Neck to each other gleefully twisting the English language in private.

Woefully behind in every chore in my life, these days, I need to resort to asking for help. The gardener is spreading decomposed granite over the front yard on Saturday. Two weeks ago, he pruned and cleaned, making it look splendid. I’m so lucky to be finishing The Front Yard Project of 2021. A delightful thing, not so tiny, but for now, definitely perfect.

The back yard will be next. After a light pruning, along with one good clean up, I’ll be ready for the first snow. How I dreaded winter last year! My first alone, it seemed to drag on forever, with one heavy snow storm after another. This year, I look forward to soup in the crock pot and long days to work on my first book, “Widow”.

Just the other day, I found my favorite fleece pajama bottoms on sale at WalMart. If you haven’t tried them, you’re in for a treat if you like soft, plush, comfy bottoms for under $8 a pair. Warm and yummy. Perfect for lounging on the couch while watching old movies. Or WRITING. Or just staying cozy on a winter’s day. All a bargain for the price. A tiny little delight that Walmart even had them for sale with now-normal shortages and empty shelves.

On that same trip, I found an adorable dress. Who knew? $20 for a dress that would have been over $75 at a department store. Again, tiny, perfect little surprises in a day.

Oliver has been wondering about his new schedule. I’ve been in and out of the house more. Just when he thinks he knows his routine, I change it again. He’s such a funny guy, always in a happy mood. His tiny perfect thing is his dog biscuits. With two meals a day and his bones, he works cheap and keeps a good attitude. A toad free yard makes his life complete, while he’s on patrol, making sure those nasty birds behave themselves.

One of the most special tiny perfect things was watching “Come From Away”, a Broadway musical about 9/11 and Gander, Newfoundland. What a wonderful production! Two of the songs get me every single time I hear them. “Me and the Sky” is about Captain Beverly Bass and her flying career. “Stop the World” is about Nick and Diane Marson and their love affair, beginning in Gander. They’ve now been married 19 years. Adorable. You can read about their story on You Tube, along with the story of Gander, Come From Away, and Captain Beverly Bass. You can find the play on Apple TV, which is one of the stations on Roku, or offered by app. If you have a smart television, it may be offered there, as well. You can also find “Come From Away” as a book. Check Amazon.

Just tiny perfect things found in every single beautiful day we are lucky enough to be alive. The autumn is a lovely time of year. Be sure to freeze moments with pictures. We’ll never be smarter, prettier, or more alive than we are right now. Live life. It’s the best.

It’s hard to believe that just a year ago, I wasn’t blogging. No early morning trudging off to my studio to sit in the dark and write. For three decades, I lost my words. Exchanging them for teaching, farming, children, sawdust, and a guy named VST, I went to silent mode. Collecting stories to comfort my soul, I waited for a time they could explode in endless streams of vowels and consonants. For the last year, it’s been a dream fulfilled, as I watched my readership grow. Over seventy countries. Six continents. Reading me. Incredible.

Four seasons have passed. Through milestones and anniversaries, my words pulled me through widow’s fog and the darkest of winters. They pulled readers along, curious to see what stories unfolded. The writer of September 24, 2020 was a different woman than this writer today.

In the last year, I’ve had the opportunity to become the person I really am. With no one to shout “You should!”, “You shouldn’t”, or “How could you?”, I quietly became the woman I’m comfortable with. In no way a great example of a writer or anything else, but just a woman that likes herself. I’m really proud of that accomplishment, because, for many years, I lost myself. On very quiet days, a new part of me wanted to speak. My readers allowed her to have her say.

To anyone that isn’t a morning person, my schedule is insane. My eyes flip open at 4:30 AM. After a night of dreams, the stories are front loaded and ready to pop out of my fingers and onto the screen in between sips of coffee. It’s quiet. I can hear the noise of the far off interstate. Wind rustling the cotton wood trees. Cheryl standing watch, right outside the window. Oliver sleeps at my feet. It’s my time to create something for me, while recording something worth remembering.

“She stood in the light, turned a new corner, and burst all at once into bloom. The branches above her, the shadow at her feet saw her newness and gave it room to grow.” (I Am Her).

The autumn shadows are long, while he best time of year has arrived. For me, it’s fitting that my second year as a writer begins.

My muse, responsible for the beginning of my blogging journey, created a daily podcast for others. His thousands of listeners waited for his daily publication. I did, as well. Monday through Friday, his recording began in the morning, taking three to four hours. He researched and created his work of art five days a week, without fail. In other areas of his life, he wasn’t as organized. That was one place he could shine, and he did, until his light went out. One day, he put down his microphone.

I know what it feels like to have words trapped inside. Trapped words make me bitter and foul. Widows need to grieve. Words are meant to be shared. Stories are meant to be told. Writers gotta write. Women need to grow. It’s really that simple. In my quiet morning hours, I find new parts of me that want to speak.

Most of all, in my life, I’ve wanted to be a published writer. From the time I was a little girl, I knew that someday, writing would be a big part of my life. A person is never too old for their journal and pencil. At this point, it’s up to me how far I go.

With that being said, the progress of my first book, “Widow” is very slow. Not realizing the time this takes, I was very optimistic that it could have been done by September 24th. With self-publishing, there is no task-mastering agent to crack the whip. I’ll give you an update one month prior to publication. A few little detours, such a a pine loving neighbor, have complicated my days. As protective as a mother bear, I’m defending time for my words, making sure writing remains a large part of my day. Living the life I want, the future is getting brighter every day. What a journey!

Today, think about your passions. Take time to do something you love the most. Rearrange your schedule to include all the things you love. We all have 24 unrepeatable hours. How will you make yours count? More tomorrow.

Amazing grace, How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now I am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved.
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come,
‘Tis grace has brought me safe thus far
And grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

When we’ve been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun,
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise
Than when we’ve first begun.

Thank you for visiting today. I’ll be back Monday.

Everyone has a story about where they were when they heard the news. My son had just left his duty station in New Jersey as an Air Man and young husband heading for California. My second son was in England working as a linguist. My parents were coming home from a very long trip. I found myself, like any other day, stopping by a convenience store to get my daily dose of Diet Coke before heading to my classroom.

In 2001, I was a 3rd grade teacher at a little community school. With 20 students to keep me hopping, I liked to be in my classroom each day by 5:45 AM. There were papers to correct, lessons to plan, and parent meetings to hold. Being a morning person, it made sense that my day would start early and end when the kiddos went home and I could become a farmer for the evening. A win/win all the way around.

That morning, the owner of the truck stop had the news blaring on the television. At that point, it wasn’t certain what type of plan had crashed. Dark smoke was rising out of the building and confusion was everywhere. Racing to get to school while listening to the news, the second plane crashed. It wasn’t an accident. By the time I entered my classroom, it was obvious. Something horrible had just happened, and with the potential for more than 20,000 deaths. No one knew how may souls were trapped in the flaming buildings or how many would be able to leave.

That beautiful day in the San Joaquin Valley of California, school buses arrived with children a little more somber than usual. Kids huddled together on the playground. Some parents kept their babies home. I would have. When the school bell rang, my little Room 20 family and I were together. We quietly recited the Pledge of Allegiance. I asked them to join me on the story carpet, a place of community and comfort for us. I sat down on the carpet and we all talked about what news was unfolding. Something bad happened in a far off city called New York. Our map came down to show the distance away from the safety of our school.

Third graders are some of the finest people alive. They are bright, intuitive, and thoughtful. They are made of heart, fire, and skinned knees. They love learning and want be good. They were the people I wanted to be with that day, and I was the person that they were glad to call teacher. And so, we brainstormed. What could we do to best use our time? What would keep us focused on good thoughts and deeds. We came up with a plan.

There were doctors doing their best. Firefighters saving others. Shop owners offered what they could. Policemen and women would work extra long shifts. We would write letters and draw pictures and send our love. Because right then, we had love and prayers that needed to be put to good use.

I was never more proud of class than that one on that day. They were brave and strong, even when they saw the teachers crying in the office. They were good and followed every rule. They drew their best pictures. They wrote in their finest printing. And, they remembered to give me lots and lots of hugs, which was a normal and wonderful part of school back then. At the end of the day we had a manila envelope full of love to send on its way.

Addressed–To the Doctors, Nurses, Police, Firefighters and Helpers on 9-11-01. New York, New York, it would arrive with thousands of others. On their down time, I saw tv coverage of the first responders sitting in a nearby church to read random notes of love from American children just like the ones in my classroom. Our letters had made it. They went on the Wings of Love from my kiddos.

As the years went by, there were less school hour remembrances of that day. Less talk about the horrors that happened. Less talk of the evil deed planned and executed by men from real countries we were not allowed to mention. Finally, there came a day when 9-11 was a normal school day with no mention at all. That was the day I knew I didn’t fit in the profession any more.

September 11, 2001, (my last as a teacher in California), I attended a special memorial in Clovis, California. Sitting deep in thought, the tears flowed as they had every 9-11 since the first. Attendees that day numbered 1,000, but it was two that came to find me that mattered. A beautiful young woman and her handsome boyfriend came up to me as I was bowed in prayer.

“Mrs. Hurt?”

Looking up, I recognized the young woman as a past student, now in her late teens. I needed to focus on the smile, as that’s what I’d recognize first.

“You need to give me a hint. I have a feeling I knew you many years ago.”

She smiled and said, “Mrs. Hurt, it’s Annie. You were with me on 9-11. I wanted to Thank You. That day has meant so much to me through the years.”

Of Course! Annie with the beautiful eyes. Annie with the impish grin. The smart and wise Annie of Room 20, grown up and yet the same girl from so long ago.

Just like that, it was 9-11-2001 all over again, but this time, the roles were reversed. It was she who comforted me. How blessed I was to have been with my 3rd graders that day. Did I mention they are the best people on this earth? Do something special tomorrow. Just don’t forget. We can never forget.

One day, on the way to Walmart, I was caught off-guard while waiting behind a fire engine at a red light. On the back of truck was a bold sign. STAY BACK 343 FEET. Puzzled, I wondered if I was already breaking the law, as I was waiting about three feet from the truck’s back bumper. I’d never paid attention to the signs on the back of a fire truck, immediately wondering how the number was chosen the. Three hundred forty three feet is quite a distance to stay back.

As it turns out, many firehouses have a similar sign on their trucks. 343 is the number of fireman lost on 9-11. THREE HUNDRED AND FORTY THREE BRAVE YOUNG SOULS. This is a small way of honoring and memorializing the kind of men that run towards danger while assisting those in harm’s way to run from it. On that fateful Tuesday in September, 343 of them dashed into the World Trade Center to help others, only to be taken away far too soon.

The morning of September 11, 2020, I chose to REMEMBER with my town’s fire fighters at their station. Everything was in tip top shape, as the doors were opened to visitors for the program put on by our local Veteran’s association. The floor was so clean you could see your reflection. Everyone was in starched dress uniforms. Our local high school cadets guided elders to their seats and handed out programs. They also took temperatures of those entering the firehouse, which was the custom a year ago.

Our state governor, who isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, had ordered that all 9-11 remembrances be canceled due to Covid. Thank goodness for a Fire Chief that didn’t listen to the governor, but rather held his remembrance for the town. A Day of Remembrance can’t be cancelled because it is inconvenient or named a super-spreader event. Thank goodness some people haven’t forgotten. There are those of us that will NEVER forget. An hour’s worth of time to bow our heads in prayer for what we’ve lost isn’t a lot to ask.

That morning, the firetrucks were out front with lights flashing. The two largest rigs had their ladders extended with the biggest, brightest, and newest American Flag ever. As it waved softly between the two trucks, it spoke to the love of country felt by our dusty little town at a wide spot in the road. It made me proud to be living in such a beautiful little town.

During the program, solemn and quiet in nature, it became clear that our young local firefighters had lost older brothers. Maybe they hadn’t met in this life, but brothers they were. Grown men shed tears as they talked about friends that succumbed to cancers years after working the pit. In fact, the best friend of our local fire chief was in hospice care, waiting to put down his hatchet and gear in exchange for a halo and wings. One of the firemen sang “Amazing Grace” a cappella. Again, tears fell.

They spoke of the bravery of the brotherhood that took trucks from all over the country to New York City, providing help in any way they could. American men and women dropped everything to support those in need in any way possible. Distance doesn’t matter to true heroes during a disaster.

Last year, there were about 343 of us town folk that showed up. Just a guess, but I bet that number was close. I’d expect this year, there’ll be three times that many, because it’s the 20th anniversary. The doors open at 8 AM for a program that will start at 10 AM.

Wherever you live, there’s a local firehouse. These brave people give up family life to work long shifts. Sometimes just waiting around is the hardest work of all. When an unplanned illness strikes, it’s often the EMS from your fire department that run to help. They save lives and property. They miss many family events, as their shifts are often a string of 24 hour duty days away from home. They help in community events. They are silent watchers, keeping us safe. Face it, we all love firemen and they love us.

On Saturday, we need to remember the families of these brave men and women who died trying to save others. We need to remember and honor the firefighters that lived and worked through unspeakable horror trying to find and save victims. Those that lived through the funerals of their friends, day after day. Those that struggle with nightmares and illnesses they suffer through now.

STAY BACK 343 FEET. Remember those who ran those 343 feet and more on a beautiful September day.

The next time you are in a restaurant where first responders eat, through a $20 at their meal. Take a cake or cookies to a local fire station. Wave at their bright red truck on a day YOU are lucky enough to be enjoying normalcy. On Saturday, please give a prayer for these 343 American angels. Our world would’ve been a better place if we could’ve just kept them around longer.

Twenty Years of Tears. Every September 11th, for the last 20 years, we’ve all cried throughout the day. Such horror and heartache. So much lost that day, we grieve. How can it be possible that such hatred walks among us? Evil took to the sky on that brilliantly blue Tuesday morning, changing our way of life forever more.

Flying used to be something I loved so much. People were kind to each other on flights. Dressing respectfully, it was a treat, not a right. Airline seats were bigger. Without cellphones, there was a chance your seat mate would be an interesting chap with a story to share. Flight attendants, called Stewards or Stewardesses back then, were wonderful and helpful, because they were in the air where they wanted to be. Before or after the flight, captains gave out golden wings to the children and asked them if they wanted to see the cockpit. Times were innocent because no civilized human being would have ever thought of using a plane for a weapon. 9-11 changed all of that.

People were expected to be on their honor, because, Americans were trustworthy people. Rules were made to follow, especially in an airplane. No one would’ve dreamed of harming anyone, let alone a plane full of innocents and children. No. The simplest of human decency and kindnesses made those days magical.

The week leading up to 9/11 is a tough one for me. Last year, my first widowed autumn, I was in the dumps. Each day, I’d run to Walmart to buy something small just to get out of the house. It was then that would see them. Kids and coaches. The first group I would notice was the High School Cheerleaders practicing high kicks and flips. This group of girls was out every day in In-Town Park, doing their best to follow the instructions of their watchful coach. School was closed. There would be no football games or competitions, but these girls showed up to work with their coach day after day. Just a group of girls working on their skills as a team.

The second group ran. They ran and ran and ran. The cross country team coach and his runners paced themselves as they ran along Highway 85A. With rhythmic footsteps, they followed one another on a mission. Bringing up the rear was their coach, watching to make sure everyone was okay. Again. No school track meets. No race to be won, except personal ones. They ran as a team for the sheer love of running.

Two teachers working with their students, doing what teachers do best. Caring for kids. Being a good example while helping everyone to strive for personal excellence in an empty arena. Great teachers are angels with a clipboard, and most teachers ARE great teachers. No one I ever knew taught for the paycheck.

It was September 9, 2020 when an idea came to mind. A random act of kindness. Sitting at my desk, I wrote a handwritten letter to each coach. I didn’t know them. That mattered not. The letter explained the impact their team had on me. I challenged them and their team to choose a small way in which to make something better for someone. In each envelope, I slipped $100. The letter remained unsigned.

On the morning of September 11, before school, the letters were left with the secretary. One addressed “Long Distance Track Coach”, the other “Cheer Coach”. Smiling, I crept away feeling better.

No. I never heard whether or not they chose to do something good with the funds. I know in my heart, they did. I know kids. I know teachers. The release and healing was in the giving. That was reward enough for me.

On this, the week leading up to 9/11, I’ve planned two Random Acts of Kindness.

#1. I’m delivering a letter and $100 to the auto shop in town. There, I’ll ask the owner to apply it to the next single mother’s bill. I remember being that mom. A broken car would’ve been something else I wouldn’t have been able to afford. It’s not a new car, but, I can do a little to help someone trying to do their best. The owner will know just who it would help the most. Who knows? Maybe he’ll donate some, too. Kindness has a way of rubbing off on people.

#2. $100 will go to the Senior Center to cover lunches for 50. That should be at least two days of free meals! Who doesn’t love a free meal? It’ll give everyone something to smile about. Again, maybe someone else will get the idea and do something else kind.

Small towns are a place we can all make a big difference. Kindness comes in all forms. Time donated. A neighbor helped. Sometimes just a wave and a smile can change the day for someone sad. 9/11 is a day for kindness and everyone has some small way to show it.

Please don’t ever forget. Don’t ever think enough years have past. Don’t ever think enough tears have fallen. Don’t discount kids and their ability to process something horrific. Kids need to know, too. Horror happened that day. It wasn’t just some people that did something bad. It was pure evil that attacked our country and way of life. We all need to remember what we lost and stop to think about those that died that day. We all did just a little.

Now, go do something kind. It will make your day!