Grieving Gardener

Each one of us possesses unique and beautiful gifts needed to make it through life. This weekend, artists came together all over town to create magic on empty walls. At first, the Grumpy Old Woman in me was a little bent about “graffiti” adorning our shared spaces. After all, who wants “graffiti” littering our streets as we race around the town. Well, color me too stuffy and a lot wrong.

Just look at the water tower! Over a period of days, volunteers of all ages came to paint the most beautiful murals around town. By Sunday evening, the town had a new look. Desert winds sandblast the best of paints, leaving our Main Street buildings looking faded and tired. Having some new murals to brighten things up is a cheerful addition to our rather quiet wide space along the interstate.

An intriguing part of this activity was that no one really knew who would be doing the painting. It was decided the painting would happen this weekend trusting that the murals would be completed by strangers. Isn’t life a little like that? It isn’t all about who shows up with their talents and gifts? Not one person possesses every talent. In this project, there was the graphic design artist that had to make their murals fit to scale on the side of the buildings or the water tower. The color artists picked out the correct paint and made sure everything was ready on painting day. Those that were skilled in organization prepared all the supplies necessary to pull this off. The advertising people made sure to get the word out about this fantastic event. Musicians got their play lists ready for the weekend. Before you knew it, it was a one-of-a-kind, small town event.

In our own lives, we are gifted with what we need right where we are, right here and now in this very moment. For sure, we need each others. That’s a given.

Even in a place as barren as the high desert plains of Northwestern Nevada we need to strive to thrive where we are. Life’s mural will slowly unfold if you only step back a little and allow it to do so. Each having our own assignments, if we work together the results will be stunning. I can’t do your thing and you can’t do mine, but together, we can achieve miracles.

If you have a knife, fork, and spoon, then that is what you need. But, if you’re missing one, don’t forget to ask a friend. They might just have an extra to lend you. No one else has what you have, the same way you have it. It’s okay to ask for help, but just don’t give up. We’ve all come too far to turn back now.

Watching the choir in church on Sunday, the lesson was evident. The guitarist might not have had the strongest voice, while the vocalist couldn’t begin to pluck out Mary Had a Little Lamb on the guitar. The drummer couldn’t play the hymn we were signing on the piano, but he kept us in time with the beat of his drums. It took each of them, along with the congregation, to make “I Come to the Garden Alone” ring in the rafters. Just like life, nobody has everything they need to handle everything alone.

I hope your town is lucky enough to have an event like the one we had this weekend. If they do, go pick up and brush and discover the artist in you!

More tomorrow.

Last week, a series of unfortunate events left me praying for girlfriends on Thursday morning. Having been raised in a family of five girls, I’m the one that isn’t the girly type. High drama and the silliness of fashion leave me cold. Shopping isn’t a hobby of mine. I really rather talk about guy stuff. And yes, at 66 years of age, there is a big difference between girl stuff and guy stuff. Anyone who says there isn’t hasn’t lived much.

Thursday morning, being alone with my Bible, I prayed for a source of new girlfriends. Face it, as a single woman, the minute you are seen having coffee with a man, gossip spreads like wildfire. Not wanting to be THAT woman, I would delight in having a group of girlfriends to do things with. A group that is supportive and kind. As I prayed, in the back of my head a negative voice was saying “Right. Where are you going to find this?”

Around 9:15, still being alone and a little blue, I went out to actively search for a new source of friends. Another church had always been of interest to me. Not far from Winterpast, the church in question was located by the golf course. They might offer Bible studies at times different from the ones I was already attending. It was worth a try, so off I went in my little Jeep.

Sadly, when I drove into the parking lot, I realized not every church is hub of activity. On Thursday morning at 9:45-ish, this church was zipped up tight. No welcoming office staff. No Pastor out cutting the grass or washing the widows. Nothing except an empty parking lot. As empty as my heart at that moment.

Where would I ever find friends that were worthy of trust and laughter? Interesting people of like mind. Although I have a lifetime left to find them, that lifetime is getting shorter every day. I’d already tried the woman’s political group. That wasn’t a source of anything except heartburn and angst. A small town is limited in options.

I made a decision to go to Lowe’s and hit the garden section. Nothing better than a good selection of flowers to brighten a day. The threat of frost has now passed for this growing season and good temperatures for planting are almost over. Needing tomato plants, I decided that it would brighten my mood. My search for friendship could continue on another day.

Driving towards the railroad tracks, something came over me, ultimately guiding my little Jeep in a different direction. I remembered that on my first Thanksgiving, I’d been buying food for the dinner I had planned with Miss Firecracker and myself. Being our first widowed Thanksgiving, we would find laughter someway, somehow. Leaving the store, stood a small group of people collecting food for less fortunate families. They were such a good group, I went back in the store and shopped for them.

Now, I had some direction. The time — 9:50-ish. I’d go there first and see if they had a list of the programs offered. I knew they’d have something.

The church sits on the opposite side of the tracks. With three main buildings, cars filled the parking lot. Signs of life made me feel better the minute I drove in. Although I didn’t see any people, I spotted a small wooden sign pointing the way to the office. I’d just pop in, hoping that door was unlocked.

Opening the door, I wasn’t prepared for the scene on the other side. While I was just hoping for a slip of paper listing times and dates of studies and prayer meetings, God answered my prayer with something far more wonderful. Inside that door, around 4 tables set up in a square sat 12 – 14 of the most beautiful smiling faces. Refreshments sat at the ready. Homemade carrot cake and other goodies, along with steaming coffee.

At an empty chair, front and center, sat before a piece of paper. In rather large font it said the following:

FRIEND

\frend\ noun

someone who gives you freedom to be yourself;

one of the nicest things you can have;

the best thing you can be.

“Hi!!! You’re just in time for Bible study. Please stay!” said the cheery woman on the other side of the room. The time — 10:00. I had driven to this Bible study and arrived at exactly the right time on exactly the right day. There are no accidents in this life.

These women were similar in age to me. By 11:30, I felt as if I had known this group for a very long time. It’s all in the eyes and smiles. One woman brought me the study materials. Someone handed me a pen. Another made sure I had a copy of words to the songs we would sing at the beginning of the meeting. Yet another asked me to tell the group a little about myself. Just like that, God sent me to a safe place full of tender, caring people. A group of friends I hadn’t met yet, until right then.

Now included in their text chains, let the fun begin. Last night, a phone call turned into an hour of getting to know someone new. The most special woman who started the Bible study just months ago. A woman who is amazed at the speed in which it’s growing, one woman at a time. I’m so glad, I was last week’s new woman.

My Thursdays are booked for awhile. This group hits the Senior Center for lunch after class. I’m invited to a birthday party in June. Just like that.

When you need something, ask in prayer. Listen for the answer. Because, answers will come. Remember, there are no accidents in life.

More tomorrow.

Due to technical difficulties, I will be back on Monday. Sometimes, the computer world is a little too complicated for one country girl. Enjoy the rest of your week.

When in the world did we all get too busy to show a little kindness? Let a person go ahead in line? Smile at a stranger? Helping a neighbor? The world is speeding at warp speed. The grouchy waitress might have been up all night with a cranky baby. The distracted sales clerk may have just lost their beloved pet. Unless the world starts connecting, things will only get worse. The greatest thing is that kindness is free. The simplest act can make someone’s day so much better. It just takes a little awareness and effort on our part.

Try it today. Just pick one person. Be kind. See what happens.

Is anybody happier

Because you passed their way?

Does anyone remember

That you spoke to them today?

This day is almost over

And it’s toiling time is through;

Is there anyone thinking about

A friendly word from you?

Can you say tonight in passing

With the days that slipped so fast

That you helped a single person,

Of the many that you passed?

Is a single heart rejoicing

Over what you did or said

Does one whose hopes were fading

Now with courage look ahead?

Did you waste the day, or lose it?

Was it well or poorly spent?

Did you leave a trail of kindness

Or a scar of discontent?

Kindness is a simple thing

Free and ever present.

Spread it all throughout your days

With joy, go forth. Be Pleasant.

_{Borrowed from God’s Little Devotional Journal for Women}

Have a wonderful day today. Go forth and spread some kindness.

More tomorrow.

Ahh, somedays life throws us unexpected complications on top of worry? The things we value the most occupy our thoughts and color our deeds. So, what do you spend the most time worrying about? It seems the future becomes less certain every day providing a script of worry and woe that not even the best writer could dream up.

Yesterday, thirteen people decided they needed groceries. Grocery shopping is a lot of things. Boring. Tedious. Time consuming. Expensive. But, it shouldn’t have ever cost ten of those people their lives. Three others have unnecessary injuries that have changed their lives forever. A troubled young soul had evil on his mind. It brewed in his heart, producing hate that he expressed with the trigger of a gun. Even worse, he filmed the rampage for other innocents to watch. Again, another tragedy at the hands of a mentally ill fool.

These days, I avoid the news whenever possible. In the third year of widowhood and the Single Life of the Senior Citizen, I have plenty to occupy my mind without the thought of bullets whizzing past me in Dairy or Produce. Did I close the garage door? Are the gates locked? Did I turn off the burners on the stove? Are my underwear presentable if I need to go to the emergency room? Will my neighborhood remain a safe place for me to live? And my favorite VST saying, “What shall the end be?” Each day, it seems we’re closer to the realization that “All good things must come to an end.” I just never thought that’d refer to America and our way life.

Looking for peace in my heart, I ran across a little advice that is helping comfort my worried heart. Approaching some rapids, these things will buoy me like a life vest during these harrowing times.

1. I need the simplest things to live. God. Food. Water. Shelter. Clothing. Health. Personal safety. How simple is that? Everything else is above and beyond. So, I’m going to dial back expectations for my life, relying on gratitude for the simplest of things, which I already have in abundance.

2. Courage. We all need to be courageous in our day to day lives. Life is not for shrinking Violets. Johnny Jump Ups don’t life very long in the desert. Now, Saguaro Cactus! That’s a plant. And entire community of protection and life, thriving in the desert. Yes. If I had to be a plant, I’d pick the Saguaro.

3. Self-Denial. Time that we could all dial back our “I must have……’s.” Have you ever walked down an aisle in Walmart and looked at the ridiculous things we are convinced we NEED in our American lives? Really? Have you ever purged a closet, realizing a month later that you can’t even remember what you threw out? Turn attention to the things we already have and find enjoyment in them. There are no pockets in a shroud.

4. Occupation. Stay busy. If retired, stay busy with all the chores that, once done, make life more comfortable for you. If a widow, double that amount, because you have no one to help. Do them your own way and in your own time, but, stay busy and be thankful you are able to stay occupied.

5. A Clear Conscience. Live in truth, whatever that may be. If you want to say “No”, say no. No explanation needed. Don’t lie. Read the Ten Commandments and do your best to follow them. Avoid gossip, judgement of others, prejudice, and a stiff neck. Breathe in the spring air and close your eyes at night knowing you did no harm. Live in peace.

Any one of those tips is monumental, but if even one of them is embraced, comfort is sure to follow.

“You know, troubles always gonna be there.

Don’t let it bring you to your knees.

Look up.” _{Look Up — Joy Oladokun}

Enjoy your Sunday, whatever you decide to do.

More tomorrow.

Last year, Winterpast got a new blanket of DG. For those of you living in the lush green grasses of California, let me explain. DG stands for Decomposed Granite. In other words, crushed rock. DG is the material covering lovely garden paths at your local nursery. It’s great for zero-scaping, making everything look neat and tidy. The larger-sized DG doesn’t blow away like sand does in our Zephyr windstorms that regularly blow through here.

This year, for some unknown reason, my DG is supporting a crop of weeds. Growing atop two inches of crushed rock, these little succulents and their roots are easy enough to remove. With no mulch or dirt in which to anchor themselves, these little weeds have managed to find enough moisture from the air to grow. I spread DG as an effective weed barrier. How many would I have without the DG?

Life is just like my DG, isn’t it? You think everything is raked up neat and tidy, when in reality, we’re all just a lab report away from disaster. Those moments when your DG looks just perfect as you sip lemonade on your porch are moments. Real life is everything else we deal with or dodge 24/7. Weeds in the DG is God’s way of giving me something small to distract me from off the bigger problems in life, even if only for an hour.

Living on a street of retired gardeners, letting the weeds remain isn’t an option. In my dusty little town at the wide spot in the road, my neighborhood is an oddity. People actually like creating a beautiful yard and spend hours caring for them. On my street especially, weeds are frowned upon. Mind you, this isn’t the normal way of thinking in my town.

Two of the best gardening home owners are ready to sell. Sadly, they live right across the street. Aged out, they are returning to family in California while the fate of our street remains in the hands of reality professionals. Loud music? Zero-scapers? Party animals? People with multiple adult children and their children living under one roof? Or retired people that appreciate the quiet solitude that the desert provides. Only time will tell. I know that I’ve been blessed with the quietest of neighbors for two years now. My luck probably won’t hold out much longer. Living in a sea of original owners enjoying their twilight years was a risk I took when buying Winterpast. After 20 years, the neighborhood is ripe for a change.

Today, the weather may start warming up a little. It’s 42 degrees as I write this morning, with an expected high in the 70’s. A wonderful day to get rid of the unwanted weeds in the front yard while soaking up the sun and making a little Vitamin D on my own.

After the weeds are done, I plan to visit VST’s headstone in Virginia City. If you visit the cemetery, go to the top of the hill and look for one of the few new headstones of the only Dr. in the place. You’ll find it. If you can’t, ask Calvin, the caretaker. He’ll take you right to the spot, as he knows every inch of the property.

For the first time as a widow, I’ve purchased a lovely headstone spray in red, white, and blue flowers. While decorating Winterpast with some patriotic buntings in recognition of Memorial Day, I remembered that my other little spot of Nevada real estate needs some attention. On a barren hilltop, surrounded by headstones of those who passed in the 1800’s, few relatives are left to remember their loved ones. A wonderful reason to spend a morning in VC and enjoy a lunch of Gospel Fried Chicken at Cafe del Rio. I may even chase it with an ice cream cone from Grandma’s Fudge and Confections.

Whatever you do today, make it enjoyable. It’s Friday!! Kick up your heels and live a little.

More tomorrow.

With the crazy weather we’ve been experiencing here on the desert plains of Northwestern Nevada, thoughts have turned back to the comfort of soup for dinner. I’ve always wanted to try recipes from “Mastering the Art of French Cooking” by Julia Child. I was a big fan of the hilarious impersonations on Saturday Night Live from long ago. Then, I watched the movie “Julie and Julia”, and decided I needed that cookbook. On my first Christmas as a widow, Santa Claus came through and I got my very own copy. The first section is all about soups.

Two weeks ago, after dicing cups of onions and buying the right kind of beef broth and Vermouth, my first try at French Onion soup was a rave success. Prepared only for myself, even the carefully prepared crouton was perfect. Each day the soup ripened, until on the third day, it was truly mind blowing.

Today, the clouds are again forming in the sky. With temps never getting above 50 degrees today, Soup #2 is in the crock pot. Cream of Mushroom soup. I found the perfect mushrooms today at the store. With all the necessary ingredients, I began dicing and slicing. It will slowly cook in the crock pot on low until dinner.

Below is the recipe. Although the soup isn’t finished yet, it has every promise of being just as fantastic as the first. Who knew that so few ingredients could create such a wonderful result. Enjoy.

Potage Veloute’ Aux Champignons (Cream of Mushroom Soup)

_{Mastering the Art of French Cooking — Julia Child — Pages 40-41.}

Here is a fine, rich mushroom soup for grand occasions or as the main course for a Sunday supper for 6 to 8 people.

1/4 cup minced onions

3 Tbsp. Butter

3 Tbsp. flour

6 cups boiling chicken stock

2 parsley sprigs

1 bay leaf

1/8 tsp. thyme

The chopped stems from 1 lb. of mushrooms

2 Tbsp. Butter

The thinly sliced caps from 1 lb. of mushrooms

1/4 tsp. salt

1 tsp lemon juice

2 egg yolks

1/2 – 3/4 cup whipping cream

Optional

1 – 3 Tbsp. softened butter

6-8 fluted mushroom caps cooked in butter and lemon juice

1. In a 2 1/2 quart, heavy-bottomed enameled saucepan, cook the onions slowly in the butter for 8 to 10 minutes, until they are tender, but not brown.
2. Add the flour and stir over moderate heat for 3 minutes without browning.
3. Off heat, beat in the boiling stock or broth and blend it thoroughly with the flour. Season to taste. Stir in the mushroom stems, and simmer partially covered, for 20 minutes or more, skimming occasionally. Strain, pressing juices out of the mushroom stems. Return the soup to the pan. ( At this point, I put the soup in my crock pot on low heat).
4. Melt the butter in a separate saucepan. When it is foaming, toss in the mushrooms, salt, and lemon juice. Cover and cook slowly for five minutes.
5. Pour the mushrooms and their cooking juices into the strained soup base. Simmer for 10 minutes.
6. *If not to be served immediately, set aside uncovered, and film the surface with a spoonful of cream or milk. Reheat to simmer just before proceeding to the step below, which will take 2 to 3 minutes.
7. Beat the egg yolks and cream in the mixing bowl. Then, beat in hot soup by spoonful’s until a cup has been added. Gradually stir in the rest. Correct seasoning. Return the soup to the pan and stir over moderate heat for a minute or two to poach the egg yolks, but do not let the soup come near the simmer.
8. Off heat, stir in the butter by tablespoons. Pour the soup in a tureen or soup cups, and decorate with optional mushrooms and herbs.

In Julia’s own sweet words, “What a happy task you have set for yourself! The pleasures of the table are infinite. Toujours bon Appetit!!!”

More tomorrow.

Spring is a great time to try new adventures. Things I’d thought impossible are now routine, such as a morning drive 45 minutes west to meet up with girlfriends for lunch. I can hardly believe these gals have been my besties for eight years now. Time moves on. VST and I became Nevadans in May 2014 when we purchased The Dun Movin’ House in Virginia City.

The girls and I chose a favorite upscale chain restaurant in which we all vowed to eat our factory-produced cheesecake first. Only one of us stuck to that promise, and it wasn’t me. I went for their signature chopped salad. Such a disappointment all the way around. This lovely, lovely building sat empty at 11:45. A restaurant that was once sold out every day at lunch and dinner. The booths and bar sat empty and waiting. With only a handful of customers inside, one would think we we’d have the best meal and service ever.

Wrong.

Our waitress was having a rotten day, and the restaurant had barely opened. Miss Happy snarled at us when we weren’t quite ready to order. The menu at this place is pages long, with delicious and exotic choices. That’s part of the fun of eating there. The menu. We weren’t shaping up to be a good team, this waitress and her three girly customers.

“I suppose you want bread and butter with your meal?” the waitress snarled with attitude. Alrighty then. Yes, we certainly did.

Nearly throwing the stale bread on the table, she snapped again.

“What’ll it be?”

Now, we WERE dining in a cow-town. But, couldn’t this beautiful restaurant with blown glass lights and polished marble floors do better than this woman. Surely they could. But, with empty booths all around, maybe not. What is with the lack of help these days? Where are the college students with their big loans that need re-paying?????? I’m not feeling too sorry for those that aren’t working three jobs while paying off their very real debts. Nobody rides for free. Well, silly me. Maybe that’s just not true anymore. I, like many of you, certainly remember filling every college day with work and studying. Not much time for naval examination.

We each ordered meals that collectively cost $77.00. For lunch. For that amount, we had two salads, a tiny cup of soup, stale bread, two cups of tea, a cup of coffee, and one piece of cheesecake. The haphazard presentation of the food went along with our waitress, Diner Dolly. How sad that even the experience of having a nice lunch out is no longer something special. Next time, we’ll bring bag lunches and sit by the river for lunch. With everything being so expensive, we could prepare and enjoy a much better lunch for the $$$.

The girls filled me in on the gossip of my old home town, Virginia City. Yes. People really live nice quiet lives above the craziness of “C” Street. I’ve never missed moving off Mt. Davidson with it’s dangerous blizzards and wild tourists. Two million people a year visit one tiny part of “C” Street. The dusty wide spot in the road that I now call home is much more fitting for me. If I have one walker a day go by my house, it’s a busy one.

In Virginia City, any reason could be good enough for a parade through town in which Highway 341 would be closed for the duration. The white lines of the Highway are painted green for Saint Patrick’s Day. The state highway is the sight of the Outhouse Races, along with the Easter Pet Parade. The high school athletes climb atop the town’s firetruck and ride proudly down “C” Street after winning their state divisions with horns blaring. It’s quite a sight to see the entire football or baseball team atop a working fire truck. Nowhere else are such antics normal occurrences.

One of my friends excitedly talked about my favorite coastal town in California. It seems she and her husband will be RVing there next week in their rig. Talking about the route they’d take brought back many memories. VST and I traveled there so often, it seemed like our second home. A solo ten hour road trip to the coast is something that remains just beyond my limits for now.

After all the news had been shared, it was off to shop. The girls each had a blast buying new clothes for spring. Not finding anything for myself, I had fun watching them choose their bright colored blouses and shorts, giving them encouragement. You know what they say — “Some days you’re the windshield and some days your the bug”.

After a fun day of visiting, it was time to hit the interstate and get back to Oliver who waited patiently at home.

Stopping for a my own small Blizzard at the DQ, I smiled. The biggest little city is right there waiting for the next time I need a little retail therapy. Just a 45 minute drive away, I only need to get in the car and go.

Have a wonderful day doing whatever it is you love doing.

More tomorrow.

I’m ready to walk the mall today
Pennies in my pocket, I’m ready to play
And it’s a goofy thing but I just got-ta say,
I’m doin’ alright in the best kind of ways.

Meet-n’ the gals for salad and soup
I’m feelin’ pretty good and that’s the truth
It’s neither drink nor drug induced
Nope, I’m just doin’ alright in the best kind of ways.

It’s a great day to be alive!!
I know the sun’s still shin-n’ when I close my eyes
Hard times get me down, that’s always gonna be
Why can’t everyday be just this good?

It’s been 2 years since you left home
And said “Good Luck” to every seed we’d sown
We gave it our best and then you left me alone
And now, I’m doin’ alright in the best kind of ways.

I look in the mirror and what do I see
My grandmother there stare-n’ right back at me
Long in the tooth but still pretty as can be
Lord, I’m doin’ alright in the best kind of ways.

It’s a great day to be alive
I know the sun’s still shin-n’ when I close my eyes
Hard times get me down, for sure.
But why can’t everyday be just this good?

Sometimes it’s lonely, sometimes it’s only me
With lonely shadows creep -n’, filling my empty room
Somedays I’m fall-n’ desperately, call-n’ out your name
Howl-n’ at the moon, grief for this old dame.

But, today I’m doing alright in the best kind of ways.

I could always try a new hair-do
Or take my dog for a three day cruise
Might even grow me tomatoes, Go wild and plant some cukes.

It’s a great day to be alive
I know the sun’s still shin-n’ when I close my eyes
Hard times get me down, for sure.
Praise God, my life’s this good.

I’m doin’ alright in the best kind of ways

_{Original written by Travis Tritt….. personalized by Joy Hurt}