Grieving Gardener

As the year draws to a close, there’s something magical about the way life comes full circle, and tonight will be a perfect reflection of that. My husband has been out on an ice fishing trip for a few days, braving the chill and the quiet of the frozen lake while I’ve been holding down the fort at home with Oliver and Wookie. Anticipation of his return reminded me how much I cherish the moments we spend together.

Ollie and Wookie have been moping around Winterpast, deserted by their best friend. As I’ve been preparing for his return, they’re already pacing, ears perked and listening for the garage door opening . With every passing car, their excitement spikes and then they return to their anxious waiting. They knew their favorite person is on his way back.

Every time his truck pulls into the driveway, the dogs erupt in joyous barks and tail wags. Their own mini celebration right there in the laundry room. Somedays, this crazy greeting is totally annoying, but today, I’ll be there with them.

While the dogs shower him with love, I’ll be busy preparing a special dinner to mark the occasion. Our New Year’s Eve dinner will be a cozy, festive experience, filled with warmth and flavors we’ll enjoy as we welcome 2025 together.

As this year closes, I’m so grateful for the little things—the time spent in the kitchen, the dogs still circling around us, and my husband safely back home. There’s something special about making a meal for someone you love, especially when it’s a moment of celebration.

A delicious dinner and dessert will be nice, but the true sweetness of the evening is always in the simple moments we share. Whether laughing over stories from a past trip or planning for the amazing vegetables and flowers for 2025, the conversation flows easily. It’s moments like this that, when strung together, build a beautiful life.

Heading into the new year, I’m filled with gratitude and excitement. We’ve come through so much together, and I’m ready for whatever 2025 brings. The thought of spending another year by HHH’s side, with Oliver and Wookie adding their craziness, fills me with warmth and hope. Together, we’ll navigate the highs and lows of life while with each passing day, our bond grows stronger.

Here’s to new beginnings, to love, and to the comfort of home. I couldn’t think of a better way to ring in the new year than with my husband by my side and our furry friends at our feet.

Happy New Year, everyone! May it be filled with love, laughter, and cherished moments with the ones you hold dear.

Oh, where do I even begin? HHH, his four brothers, and various cousins and friends have an annual tradition. Every year, the days between Christmas and New Year’s are reserved for ice fishing. Now, when HHH says “ice fishing,” he might as well be saying, “I’m going to brave the frozen tundra for fun with my bros.” Because that’s what it is, folks—a weekend getaway from the holiday chaos and retirement, which, includes me and the dogs.

Before Christmas last year, I asked him what he needed for this “fishing excursion.” Simple: a parka that could double as a tent, boots that could withstand a blizzard, a thermal flask, a bucket of snacks, and of course, his trusty fishing rod. I made sure Christmas 2023 was packed with a few extras for the outing including an Ice Fishing Tent and a fish-finder thing-a-ma-jig. With sadness, all these things stayed in their boxes, as there was no ice last year. Hence, no ice fishing.

Through news reports, 2024 ice is a bit better.

Yesterday, he was up before the sun, giddy with delight. (If you didn’t know, ice fishing brings out a very particular kind of joy in men—a mix of smug satisfaction and childlike wonder.) He hurried around the house grabbing last-minute belongings, not forgetting anything.

HHH is an expert at packing. Having experienced this adventure for 40 years, he knew exactly what things to put in the back of the truck. Along with the gear, he fixed himself two delicious ham sandwiches and packed a suitcase full of clothes.

After dropping him off at The Mayor’s house, I returned to Winterpast—ready to enjoy some peace and quiet of my own. I’ll admit, I’m amused by the thought of five brothers and friends on the ice. The thought of “Grumpy Old Men” came to mind.

Fast forward to late in the afternoon. HHH texted me a picture of him holding the biggest bloody trout I’ve ever seen. He later called with an update. The conversation went something like this:

Me: “Wow! That’s one heck of a trophy fish! How are things going.”

HHH: “Well, it’s been tough. The fish weren’t biting today.” He then fessed up that trophy fish belonged to an angler across the way. It WAS a beauty. Heck, I’d like a picture holding that 23″ beauty (although I would have rinsed it off first).

Me: “Really? You’re out there freezing your toes off, and no fish?”

Mark: “Nope, but the ice got pretty thin when we left. We had to wade a little. A friend had water up to his chest. He’s in the shower now, trying to warm up.”

After hearing a few more “updates” throughout the day, I could tell he was bonding with the other guys over a shared love of being in the cold for no reason at all, except to say they did it. (You know, because that’s what real men do—suffer for the thrill of it in chest level ice cold water.)

With a quick turnaround, HHH will be back home to celebrate New Year’s Eve at Winterpast. As he was leaving, I promised to have dinner waiting for him. Not being a fan of fish, I really hope they don’t catch many, or better yet, catch hundreds only to let them go to be caught another day.

I’m sure he’ll have plenty to share about freezing winds and “intense survival challenges”. I hope the wolves stay far from the clam shell and the ice doesn’t melt anymore than it already has. The main goal is that everyone will return in one piece, while what happens at the icy lake stays at the icy lake.

The best part of his trips will always be the bonding time between men-folk. Our fellas need guy time. Far too many men spend hour after hour on the couch without any chance to escape. I hope he returns home tired, disheveled, and ready to put away the clamshell and fish finder for another year.

Next year? I’ll be ready to drop him off at The Mayor’s house again. Because this time, I just might plan a winter adventure of my own. Hmmmmm. A day at the spa sounds much more grand than one on a frozen lake. We’ll just see about that.

More tomorrow.

Some days, you’re the windshield, someday you’re the bug. Yesterday, Oliver was definitely the bug. And, he’s lucky I coudn’t find my fly swatter.

Oliver is a most difficult dog. From the moment I brought him homesix years ago, I should’ve known. First of all, he was a discount dog, reduced more than 60%. The breeder even drove him two hours to meet me in the snow-covered parking lot of a huge casino in the biggest little city west of us.

All puppies are adorable. Oliver even more so than the average puppy. Wet from car sickness on the mountain roads, he shivered as he melted into my arms. I mean, really. How much trouble can one little twelve-pound puppy be? Especially a really cute one with green eyes.

Today, I can tell you. Oliver is the worst dog I’ve ever owned in my life. Of course, he’s also the cutest and the best cuddler. In case you’re wondering why I’ve put up with so much, it’s because he’s with us for the long haul. If you were thinking about taking him off my hands, forgetaboutit. We’ll suffer through the carnage until he’s through with this stage of life. At this rate, I predict that will take about ten more years.

HHH went overboard for Christmas. With thoughtful and sweet gifts, he went the extra mile. There were gifts for everything I love. A beautiful cross necklace. A splendid piece of furniture, well hidden in wrapping. Heirloom seeds and sprouting trays. A little of this and a lot of that.

The most unique gift is a 1,000-piece puzzle of the Majestic Princess, our last cruise ship. From shore, he snapped a picture, photographing the complete ship in all her splendor. Who would’ve known you could order a wooden puzzle from a personal photo? He did.

Beginning on Christmas evening, with both of us working, it’s taking some time. There is an expanse of blue sky, lots of ocean, and then, the ship.

When we began, we knew the canine vacuum known as Oliver hovered below the table. He’ll eat anything and everything. It doesn’t need to be food. If it smells like us, all the better. So, we’d both be on the lookout for Destructo-dog.

The first night, we both worked on the puzzle for hours, finally deciding to get some sleep and continue the next morning. In the morning, I got some coffee and went to work. Sometime between sipping coffee and separating puzzle pieces, one was knocked to the ground. Hearing a strange munching sound, it was too late. Our beautiful puzzle is now a 999-piece puzzle while Oliver is banished from the dining room.

There are days I would like to pack a little backpack and send him on his way. It wouldn’t work. He’s micro-chipped and whoever found the little beast would quickly return him.

The missing piece will be part of the story of the puzzle. Planning to decoupage it and hang it on the wall, there will be one piece of water missing. When people ask what happened, we’ll gladly tell them all about it.

Whatever you do today, avoid looking into the eyes of a sweet little discount dog on a cold winter’s day. He’ll melt your heart and you’ll lose your life to the little beast, no matter how destructive.

Oliver………….

Oy Vey.

The loveliness of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day lingers on. All things planned and unplanned went off without a hitch. As holidays go, this Christmas season has won a spot at the top. HHH and I marvel at how fast time has flown. December 15, 2024 marked our third Christmas together, beautiful in every way.

Any Christmas wouldn’t be complete without a drive around town to look at the lights. Grabbing Miss B, (HHH’s Mom), we drove through a magical wonderland of Christmas spirit. Each year, there is one special area of town in which the neighbors go all out. This year was no different except that one house in a different neighborhood was even more beautiful. Ours.

This year, HHH made Winterpast look fantastic with an assortment of lighted designs. From homemade Christmas trees to lifelike versions of Wookie and Oliver, our yard has sparkled for weeks. Of course, the Marine across the street got into the competition, along with his next door neighbors. The result was a little corner of beauty in our part of town.

Christmas Eve began with a visit to our favorite Denny’s for breakfast. With gifts in hand, we met with a distant relative who works there. We also left a gift for the manager, who keeps our restaurant beautiful at all times of the year, not only Christmas. He makes sure our Denny’s offers the best hamburgers in the area, each and every visit.

At 6 pm, we were seated in our favorite spot in church to enjoy the candlelight service. Singing all the hymns featured in the blog this month was special. It carried me back to a simpler time in the little German church in Central California. Ending the service with “Silent Night” sung in a room full of candlelight, we were told to spread our light around our town and the world. Yes. That hymn could stop a war in the night and bring two sides together.

As a shared family tradition, we came home to open one gift. We both laughed that, as children, we observed that same rule. However, back then the gift was always new pajamas. Neither HHH or I gifted PJ’s this year, just so you know.

Going to sleep, we reminisced about waking to open presents in our early days. Thinking of late nights of toy assembly and early mornings of gifting, we laughed at how times had changed. No need to be up so early

And then……..

HHH woke me at 4:15 am to open presents.

Celebrating the day with new friends from church over Honey-Baked Ham, fresh scalloped potatoes, rolls, and veggies, the day held laughter and happiness. Life is wonderful when shared with those you love! Christmas 2024 — A Total success!!!!

Whatever you do today, take a minute to write about your 2024 holiday season. Think about how the season unfolded. You might even add notes about how your life has changed this year. First, write down the top three things for which you are grateful. Focusing on the good sets a good tone. Writing is a beautiful way to sum up the details of one heck of a year.

As the festive season fills the air with joy, I wanted to take a moment to express my deepest gratitude to each one of you. Christmas is a time for reflection, for counting our blessings, and for celebrating the connections we’ve made. I am truly grateful for the incredible community of readers who have followed and supported my blog.

Your engagement, your kind words, and your shared enthusiasm have been the driving force behind everything I do here. It’s not just the views or the numbers that matter, but the conversations, the insights, and the moments of connection that we’ve shared throughout the year. Whether you’ve been with me from the beginning or you’ve just recently joined, your presence means the world to me.

My wish for all of you this holiday season is that you find joy, peace, and love in abundance. May your celebrations be filled with warmth and laughter, and may you take the time to reflect on the blessings in your own life, just as I am doing now. Here’s to more exciting adventures, stories, and shared moments in the coming year!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

With all my gratitude,

Joy

‘Twas the night before Christmas, in Winterpast at home,

Soaking in the hot tub, praying for world-wide Shalom.

Two stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

One for my husband, and one for me were there.

Oliver nestled asleep in his crate,

Wookie snoring on the bed, both dogs doing great.

Later dried, watching movies, our nest feelin’ right

We finally dozed off for restful sleep in the night

When my cell phone did rumble and ding with a clatter

From my Bestie, CC, checking on me with chatter.

Through words we shared events of the day,

Promising tomorrow a call to check in and say “Hey”.

With the stars brightly shining, true beauty shone through

The journey through grief no longer making us blue.

With sleep not appearing while we tried to relax,

The cell phone complained, our quiet now cracked.

A friend from afar, “Merry Christmas” to say

A surprise of the best kind, better than gifts on a sleigh.

“Everything now brighter, we’ll remember the good.

Sleep well, time’s healed all, as we prayed it would.”

Faith, Hope, and Love, we reflect on tonight.

Santa is great, but to these things hold on tight.

Our journey through life holds beauty, it’s true

There’s Hope for tomorrow, Love helps Faith blooms anew.

When HHh shook me to check just once more for good measure,

My husband and best friend, a man quite treasured.

Christmas tomorrow? Could he cook ham for Miss Lazy?

“Can we speak tomorrow?”

Wait….. What???????

Am I crazy?????

After a good night’s sleep, we’ll not feel so frumpy,

No time for the blues or being down in the dumpy.

Tomorrow we’ll smile and get Christmas just right

With Faith, Hope, and Love, our spirits will take flight.

Down with past sadness, self-pity, and blues.

Up with carols, treats, and friendships true.

Love to Auntie, Goddess, and Miss Firecracker, loved so

When troubled about life, to you I go.

Thanks Daughter, Alu Angel, and CC, too,

I truly love my Christmas angels, You!

Hearts smiling, we’ll enjoy a great dinner, bright.

My Mysterious Marine will season everything just right.

So Dash Away, Dash Away, Dash Away all.

Off to the grocery store, down to the mall.

Finish the wrapping with ribbons and bows,

With love for each other, happiness grows.

I send you this, My Christmas wish true,

Merry Christmas, Dear Friends, with love to you.

Thank you for finding interest in Grievinggardener while helping me get through this crazy journey called life. Your steady love, friendship, and prayers help me to grow every day. Life is the most beautiful journey of all.

Merry Christmas to you all.

Mary, did you know that your baby boy
Would one day walk on water?
Mary, did you know that your baby boy
Would save our sons and daughters?
Did you know that your baby boy
Has come to make you new;
This Child that you delivered
Will soon deliver you?

Mary, did you know that your baby boy
Will give sight to a blind man?
Mary, did you know that your baby boy
Would calm a storm with His hand?
Did you know that your baby boy
Has walked where angels trod,
And when you kiss your little baby
You’ve kissed the face of God?

The blind will see, the deaf will hear,
The dead will live again,
The lame will leap, the dumb will speak
The praises of the Lamb!

Mary, did you know that your baby boy
Is Lord all creation?
Mary, did you know that your baby boy
Will one day rule the nations?
Did you know that your baby boy
Was Heaven’s perfect Lamb,
And the sleeping Child you’re holding
Is the great, the Great I AM?

Oh, Mary, Mary, did you know?

Christmas hymns evoke deep emotions while reminding us of the reason we celebrate this special holiday. This particular song has become a holiday classic, echoing through churches, homes, and car radio stations. Its haunting melody and thought-provoking lyrics not only center on the Christmas story. We’re also invited to remember the mystery of the birth of Jesus through the eyes of His mother, Mary.

What new parents can begin to foresee all the blessings and trials their newborn will experience? Mary and Joseph had been told THIS baby’s future by angels. Most of us look forward to our little one’s first step. None of us know what it would be like to have a child that can walk on water.

With its gentle and powerful delivery, “Mary, Did You Know?” doesn’t just tell the story of Christmas—it asks us to reflect on its deeper meaning. As the lyrics unfold, we’re reminded that Jesus grew up to perform miracles, heal the sick, and eventually lay down His life for humanity.

What makes “Mary, Did You Know?” so special is its universal message. Whether you’re singing along in church, reflecting on the song during the holiday season, or simply listening on a quiet evening, the song touches something deep within. It’s a reminder that Christmas isn’t just about gifts and festivities but about recognizing the significance of that holy night in Bethlehem, when God sent His Son into the world in the most humble way imaginable. As the years have passed, each rendition of the song provides a new opportunity to reflect on faith, hope, and the love that Mary felt for her son.

In an often busy and distracted season, “Mary, Did You Know?” brings us back to the heart of Christmas. Whatever you do today, take a minute to reflect on the awe and wonder Mary and Joseph must have felt in that stable while they cradled the child who would change the world. This song not only celebrates the birth of Jesus but invites us to marvel at the divine mystery of it all.

Oy. Vey.

It’s been such a lovely little holiday around our quiet town. That is until Wednesday when the peace and quiet came to a screeching halt. With only three school days left until winter break, our town suffered a terrible blow coming from one insane 19-year-old — a double stabbing of both parents resulting in the death of one.

Wednesday began as any other day. For weeks, HHH and I had planned a day in the biggest little city to the west of us. We’d planned to visit the mall, hunt for meat at a mega grocery store, visit our jeweler friend, and enjoy lunch at Jersey Mike’s. In the evening, we’d take Miss B around town to “OOOhhh” and “Ahhhh” at the beauty of the Christmas lights around town.

Plans are great until they don’t quite work out. The largest retail store in the mall was a huge disappointment. With merchandise rumpled and thrown around, even finding a man’s shirt became impossible. It was surprising how many associates crowded around the fragrance counter, all shoving small papers drenched in cologne in my direction. Not even one smelled $100 nice, most smelling of rubbing alcohol. No wonder there’s not much dating going on with Millenials.

At the other large store the furnace and the escalator taking people to the Men’s department on the 2nd floor were broken. The elevator made strange groaning sounds as we went up. It seemed to be on the verge of breaking, as well.

Once upstairs, the men’s department was in total disarray, just like the other store. One week before Christmas at 10:30 in the morning! It’d be great to visit a clean store selling un-rumpled merchandise. At this point, I’m sticking with Amazon. At least the merchandise received is usually folded.

The rest of the morning went well, until we returned to a massive traffic jam. The school had just announced that after the day’s “lock-down”, parents could retrieve their children. There’d be no busing due to the manhunt for the 19-year-old murderer who remained on the run.

All night, helicopters searched a large open area. Periodically the killer’s phone would ping, prompting more police, drones, and dogs. As the temperature dropped into the low 20’s, there was no sign of the 6’4″ murderer. Barefoot, in red sweatpants and a dark shirt, it seemed he’d disappeared into thin air. All night, the community sat on the edge. On the police scanner, over 5,000 listened intently for updates.

A few rumors I’ve heard…

When 6, he tried to smother a friend with a pillow at a sleepover.

In 3rd grade, his favorite movie was “The Shining”. He named his dog Red Rum (turn the letters around).

Violent for years, his parents weren’t able to find appropriate help for their mentally ill child. Now, after receiving lethal stab wounds (too numerous to count) their son was running to save his own life.

Grief comes from all kinds of loss. Today, I grieve for the innocence lost at 11:00 am on Wednesday, December 17. I pray for the police, dogs, and pilots who worked tirelessly to find the killer and safely arrest him, restoring some peace to our town.

Yesterday, the hunt ended a little after 2 pm. The killer, (warming himself in a woman’s coat), was found hiding in the rafters of a local barn. Cold and spent, he was whisked away to the hospital for observation. Hopefully, he’ll never see another day of freedom in his life, the price that must be paid for his heinous actions.

Please pray for us in our little desert town. We’re small town folks reeling from the actions of a mentally-ill monster. In 2024, no one is safe from the insanity of evil-doers. Not even my dusty little town on a wide spot next to the interstate on the high desert plains of Northwestern Nevada.

The holiday season is full of traditions, many woven into our childhood memories. One tradition that stands out, year after year, is the beloved classic A Charlie Brown Christmas. I watched this show every year as a kid and then shared it with my own children years later. This timeless special delivers warmth, joy, and a dose of holiday spirit to all who watch it.

When A Charlie Brown Christmas first aired on December 9, 1965, no one knew it would remain relevant for decades. There’s something magical about how it captures the essence of Christmas with such simplicity. The animation is charming while the story is refreshingly simple as Charlie Brown ponders the true meaning of Christmas. His frustrations with the commercialization of the holiday are relatable in a way that only he can express.

The absence of special effects or over-the-top holiday antics are part of its enduring charm. Instead, it leans into the quiet moments of Christmas. The warmth of family, the importance of community, and, the magic of a simple Christmas tree remain the focus here.

The music of Vince Guaraldi’s iconic jazz score is a key part of the experience. The soft melody is the perfect soundtrack to a cozy winter evening. This reminds me of simpler times when the holiday was about reflection AND celebration. The heart warming music allows me to settle into the spirit of Christmas.

The soundtrack holds another memory for me. While writing with my 3rd graders so long ago, the notes of Vince’s soundtrack would play softly in the background. One little girl reported that the music helped pull the words from her brain, through her pencil and fingers, and onto the paper. Oy. Vey. How I miss those days with my room full of brilliant writers.

In a world that often feels too busy and too loud, take a moment to pause and enjoy stillness while reflecting on the simple joys of the season. Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Linus, Lucy, and the rest of the Peanuts gang show us the beauty of finding meaning in even the smallest moments. As “Christmas Time Is Here” plays in the background and the focus turns to that sad little tree adorned with a single ornament, we’re reminded that even the most imperfect things can be transformed with a little love. That’s what Christmas is all about.

So, whether you’re watching it alone with a cup of hot cocoa or with family gathered around the TV, “A Charlie Brown Christmas” is more than just a holiday special. It’s a tradition, a source of nostalgia, and a heartfelt reminder of the values that truly make this season magical.

Grief is like the wind: invisible, yet powerful. It touches every part of us, sweeping through our hearts and minds, while shaping our lives in ways we never expected. Like the wind, grief is something that can be difficult to understand, yet it’s deeply felt. It can feel wild and untamed, or soft and silent, but it moves through us in its own way, often when we least expect it.

Just as the wind doesn’t announce its arrival, grief often comes quietly, without warning. One moment, there’s a sense of normalcy, and the next, we find ourselves caught in a gust of emotion not anticipated. A gentle breeze, barely noticeable at first, it can become a storm leaving us reeling. Or it may arrive as a sudden gust, strong and fierce, knocking us off our feet and leaving us in a tearful heap.

But much like the wind, grief changes, ebbing and flowing. This shifting nature of grief makes it hard to navigate. There’s no clear timeline or guaranteed path to healing. It takes its own course, sweeping us through moments of clarity and confusion, strength and vulnerability. We don’t GET OVER grief, but move THROUGH it.

The wind also carries with it a sense of connection to something bigger than ourselves. When we feel the breeze against our skin, we are reminded that we are part of something vast—an endless sky, an open field, an expansive ocean. Similarly, grief reminds us of our connection to what we’ve lost and what we still hold dear. Just as the wind touches everything in its path, grief touches everything in our lives, sometimes leaving us with a sense of emptiness, other times helping us find strength we never knew we had.

And like the wind, grief doesn’t ask for permission. It doesn’t wait for the right moment, nor does it obey our wishes. Yet, with time, we learn to understand its rhythm. Sometimes we welcome its presence, knowing it’s part of the process. Other times, we may fight it, hoping that if we can control it, we can avoid the discomfort. No matter how we respond, the wind will continue to blow, and so will grief. It will shape us, change us, and in time, teach us to move with it, instead of against it.

There are days when the wind feels too strong, too overwhelming. The gusts of grief seem to be more than we can bear. But like the wind, grief will eventually pass. We may never forget what it has carried away, but with time, we find new ways to live with it. And just as the wind can calm and settle into a peaceful breeze, so too can our hearts find moments of stillness after the storm of grief.

It’s also important to remember that wind can be a source of renewal. After a storm has passed, the air is often clearer, the world quieter, as if everything has been reset. Grief, in its own way, has this power too. In the wake of loss, we may find new perspectives, deeper connections, and a stronger sense of what truly matters. Just as the wind can refresh the earth, grief can renew our spirits, helping us grow in ways we never anticipated.

So, as we stand in the winds of grief, we may find comfort in knowing that, like the wind, it will change. There will be days when it feels calm and still, and others when it picks up again. And through it all, we will continue to grow, adapt, and find peace in the quiet moments between the gusts. Grief, like the wind, is a natural part of life—a force that, though invisible, shapes us in ways that are both challenging and beautiful.