Grieving Gardener

Who says fairy tales are just for the young? When two hearts find each other later in life, it’s a beautiful reminder that love can blossom at any stage. This engagement party wasn’t just about rings and roses—it was a celebration of second chances, lifelong dreams, and the joy of saying ‘yes’ when you thought the best chapters had already been written.

Our friends, “The Love Birds”, have been spreading smiles and happiness throughout our dusty little town on the high desert plains of Northwestern Nevada. Just a year ago, their lives were quite different. Both struggling through loss, something was missing. Happiness and the power of hope for the future have changed everything. Their wedding bells will ring in a mega-wedding at our megachurch two days before our own 2nd anniversary.

It’s hard to know what’s appropriate these days. The bottom line is that anything goes. Planning a wedding between two people in their 70s, the script is theirs to write. Our groom had definite feelings tied to traditions from the past. There would be no engagement party. How silly. At THEIR age? Not happening.

On the other hand, Miss Bridge-Girl had different ideas. After the chapter of her past lifetime of marriage ended years ago, she’s ready to start anew. And so, our two brains came together and decided to surprise Mr. Groom!

On Friday at Winterpast there was a flurry of non-stop activity. Every dead bloom was clipped. Paths were raked clean. Tables and chairs were set up on the lawn. The dogs knew something was up, but weren’t sure what. With each change, they sniffed everything to assure we were safe.

By 11:00 am, it was time to pick up the food platters at the local grocery store. HHH and I had combined last-minute errands to maximize efficiency. Along with the food, we needed ice and one bean burrito for a guest with life-threatening nutritional issues. Bean burritos are the perfect plant-based meal for her, and we were happy to comply.

Pulling up to the grocery store, we were so proud of our accomplishments. We’d be ready by 4 pm to enjoy an hour of peace and quiet before the guests arrived. Hand in hand, as we always are on shopping days, we entered the store and ran right into “The Love Birds”. No kidding.

The little lie we had told the groom was this. They were invited to a BBQ at 5:30. How would we explain the food trays we’d be purchasing????? After a full game of cat and mouse, we left the store with our food trays, our secret still safe.

Next, it was on to the nearest Taco Bell. After such a busy morning, a bean burrito sounded good to me, as well. Our order was complete. One burrito WITH cheese and one without for our friend. All went well until I realized, I’d taken a bite from the cheeseless burrito, which was the entire reason for our purchase.

Laughing so hard, HHH turned the car around to go through the line again. The associate was a little confused. Hadn’t we just been through? Through intense laughter, we shook our heads and got the heck out of there with our guest’s dinner.

With maximum secrecy, 28 guests (aged 4 – 92) managed to stay silent and create a major surprise! As the evening unfolded, Mr. Groom had to admit that engagement parties rule. Especially his! Surrounded by their favorite people, the couple led us all through the buffet line. They shared their love story to an adoring crowd. Presents were opened and a beautiful chocolate cake was enjoyed by all.

As the evening progressed, everyone agreed that Winterpast is a botanical delight. Guests picked the few apricots we have this year. By the time the evening ended, new friendships were formed. Everyone agreed that this love affair is sweet, beautiful, and perfect for these two at this time in their lives.

A few of the guests helped clean up the kitchen, while getting in the last little bit of visiting. And, just like that, it was like there had never been a party at all.

Celebrations are wonderful times to deepen friendships. With so many blessings in our lives, we all have reasons to host a party. Whether it’s a coffee date for three or an engagement party for 28, think about hosting a little summer shin-dig.

CHOOSE HAPPINESS!!!!

We all face mountains.

Sometimes they rise slowly in the distance, giving us time to prepare. Other times, they are massive, intimidating, and impossible to ignore. These mountains come in many forms, such as illness, death, heartbreak, loss, failure, uncertainty, and deep personal battles. They block our view, drain our strength, and whisper lies that we’re not strong enough, capable enough, or worthy enough to keep going.

But here’s a truth that often gets lost in the exhaustion. You can choose to be overwhelmed by the size of your mountain or energized by the climb.

That choice doesn’t erase the pain. It doesn’t flatten the slope or remove the storms. But it does awaken something inside, igniting faith and calling courage to the surface. The mountain isn’t an obstacle, but a holy place where something greater is unfolding.

On the other side of every mountain are wildflowers that celebrate moments of beauty, growth, healing, and grace. They only bloom in places where the struggle was real and perseverance was chosen. Watered by our tears, these wildflowers don’t grow in the valley, but on the sides of jagged cliffs where the journey was steepest. Their blooms tell of survival and resilience while reminding us that it was all worth it.

The most powerful truth of all is that you don’t climb alone. Somewhere along the path, when your legs shake and your heart is broken, the Savior will reveal Himself. It isn’t always with thunder or lightning, but with gentle comfort and a peace that makes no sense. His grace will hold you together when you feel like falling apart as HE climbs with you.

He’ll wipe the sweat from your brow and whisper, “I’m here. Keep going.” He knows the pain of the terrain. He’ll help you along and then wait for you at the summit.

So whatever mountain you’re facing right now, don’t stop climbing.
Pause if you must. Breathe. Weep. Rest. But, DO NOT give up.

The view is coming.
The wildflowers are waiting.
And the Savior is near.

You were made for this mountain.

Keep climbing. 🌿

More on Monday.

There’s something quietly breathtaking about an older bride. It has nothing to do with the dress or flowers, though those can be beautiful too. It’s all about the story etched in her eyes, the grace in her step, and the courage in her heart to choose love again.

She stands before the mirror, smoothing down her gown, not a girl, but a woman shaped by years of laughter, loss, and change. She’s known heartbreak and what it means to start over. And still, the sparkle in her eye is unmistakable as the light of someone who has rediscovered joy when she wasn’t sure she ever would.

When she speaks of the man she now calls hers, her voice softens, and a blush blooms gently in her cheeks. Not the fiery rush of first love, but something deeper and sweeter. It’s the blush of a woman who never thought she’d feel this way again, now marveling at the miracle that she does.

There is uncertainty, of course. Life has taught her to hold joy with open hands. She doesn’t pretend to know what the future will bring. Part of the beauty is that she chooses to love anyway, not out of naïveté, but from strength. Knowing how fragile life can be, she walks forward, eyes bright, heart full, ready to begin again.

Hope, at this age, is different. It’s not about perfect endings or fairy tales. It’s much quieter and wiser while holding someone’s hand through the ordinary. It’s about being seen, cherished, and known in spite of old scars, and because of them.

She laughs more now. Not because life is easier, but because love has returned to her doorstep when she least expected it. She dares to make plans with faith and hope that this chapter will be the sweetest yet.

The beauty of an older bride is not in the illusion of youth but in the radiance of realness. It’s in every silver strand that has weathered life’s storms. It’s in the steadiness of her step, and the wonder that she still feels nervous butterflies. It’s in the grace with which she chooses love again, knowing very well what love demands.

To witness her is see the quiet triumph of the heart.

When it finds you again, love doesn’t ask how old you are. but simply asks: Are you ready?

And she is.

Oh my, yes she is.

Grief has a way of dismantling time. Days blend, thoughts fragment, and even the simplest acts like getting out of bed, eating a meal, or answering a message, can feel like climbing a mountain with bare feet. When grieving, we often fall into survival mode, where self-care can feel indulgent or irrelevant, even when this is the time we need it most.

Self-care during grief isn’t about spa days or inspirational quotes. It’s about honoring your pain while tending to the small, essential things that allow you to keep going. It’s not about “getting better” or “moving on,” but gently creating space to coexist with your loss.

The first act of self-care is giving yourself permission to feel, rest, and not be “okay”. Grief doesn’t follow logic, and it certainly doesn’t follow a schedule. You may feel sadness, anger, guilt, or even moments of peace or laughter, all normal parts of loss.

While friends and family often want us to be “strong” or “resilient,” realize it takes real strength to fall apart necessary. There’s no “right” way to grieve and only you will find your way.

You may not feel like eating, or you may find yourself overeating for comfort. Try to aim for balance, not perfection. Simple, nourishing meals like toast, soup, or a smoothie can make a difference.

Sleep may be elusive or overwhelming because grief often disrupts our nervous system. A consistent nighttime routine, or even short naps when needed, can help stabilize your body’s rhythms. Most adults need 7 – 9 hours of sleep per night.

Rather than trying to suppress or avoid your grief, create gentle rituals that allow it to be expressed. Writing letters to the person you lost can help the healing process. If it feels good to talk to them, do it. Remember to make space for tears. Grief doesn’t demand to be fixed, it asks to be acknowledged.

Writing has been a lifeline for me. In the beginning, words pulled me out of bed at 4:30 am to blog. Life finally distilled down to a true love of writing, and I began. On September 24, 2020, my grief found a voice as it traveled out of my fingers, through the keyboard, and onto the screen. With each word, my outlook on life improved. It’s all there in the archives.

People around you want to help, but may not know how. Some will say the wrong things while others may disappear entirely. Focus on those who offer presence without pressure. Let others bring meals, run errands, or sit quietly beside you. You don’t need to explain your pain for it to be valid. Remember, it’s okay to protect your energy. Avoid conversations that feel too heavy. Let texts go unanswered. You’re allowed to guard your grief.

If experiencing widow’s fog of grief, small, grounding practices can be lifelines. Watch the sky change, take a daily walk, or just drink your coffee slowly, with intention. These simple moments are not a betrayal of your grief but signs that you’re still alive and tethered to the world.

Remember to be kind to yourself. Avoid thoughts like, “I should be further along,” “I shouldn’t feel this way,” “They would want me to be happy.” There is no schedule for healing nor prize for hiding your pain. Practice speaking to yourself like you would to a friend using patience, care, and tenderness.

At some point, many find themselves asking, “What now?” This doesn’t mean rushing to find a silver lining or a purpose in loss. Over time, new dimensions of love, empathy, and perspective will appear while living through grief

Grief changes you. You never asked for a broken heart, but over time, the mended scars will become sacred. They can become places where new growth will emerge over time.

Self-care while grieving is not a cure. It’s a soft, steady light and a reminder that you are still worthy of care and capable of healing, however long it takes. If you are grieving, be gentle. If someone you love is grieving, be present. That’s enough for now.

More tomorrow.

Ah, there’s nothing like the first zucchini of the season! HHH carefully plucked it from the vine with reverence, not disturbing the others. Cradled in his arms, he imagined the fresh veggie sautéed in melted butter. Pretty sure I even heard him tell it, “You’re the chosen one.” And for one fleeting, chlorophyll-scented moment, it was.

It was the first golden hour of zucchini ownership when we are still in control. With two vegetable gardens under our care, we’ll have twice the zucchini to peddle to any takers we can find. In the beginning, it’s always easy.

This zucchini, grown from a tiny little plant, was a delightful yellowish color. When sliced, the goodness oozed out in tiny beads of liquid. After melting butter, HHH worked his magic, cooking the squash until it was soft and translucent. It was the best zucchini we’ve ever eaten. But then, food fresh from the garden always is.

Leftovers here at Winterpast are something to behold. Saturday night, as we enjoyed our first garden produce, Philly Cheese steak sandwiches made with leftover filet mignon, a Parmesan-crusted pork chop split two ways, my famous Ziti, and HHH’s marvelous au gratin potatoes completed the menu. Each bite was awe-inspiring, but all that paled compared to the first zucchini of the season, which was perfect in every way.

With each bite, all the water poured into the garden box was worth it. Desert water doesn’t come cheap. After adding up the price of all the seedlings eaten by the squirrel and the price of each watering, I’d estimate the cost of this one small squash to be more than a night out on the town. But, THIS zuk was worth it.

As the fourth girl of five, my mother was done with growing zucchini during my childhood years. Although we grew everything we ate, from rabbit to artichokes, zucchini seeds never made it into the garden. Other than serving it fresh, squash is difficult to preserve. My mother must have put her foot down, refusing to find homes for the abundant harvest that would surely come in July and August.

In three short weeks, our porch will be covered with free zucchini. Anyone coming for a visit will be required to leave with at least two. Before sunrise, HHH will mutter sweet nothings to his garden plants while secreting a five-gallon bucket of oversized zucchinis to Ninja Neighbor’s porch. We’ll enjoy grilled, sautéed, pickled, and spiralized zuk’s, even disguising them in my favorite Ziti recipe.

But let’s not get too far into the summer. The first zucchini was still a miraculous, tender little promise from the garden gods that we can grow our food despite the crazy spring weather and one very hungry squirrel. Beaming with pride, we washed it under cool water while imagining our grandparents nodding with solemn approval.

Despite its inevitable descent into overabundance, the first zucchini is always special. It’s a sign that we’ve survived the frost, dodged the squash bugs, and remembered to water. It marks the true beginning of summer when dinners get simpler, gardens get wilder, and everything tastes crisp and fresh.

Honor that first zucchini. Slice it thin and lovingly sauté it in melted butter. Eat it as if it’s the only one you’ll ever have. Because next week, you’ll be Googling “Can zucchini be used as payment for our next vacation?”

In a world that often feels loud, chaotic, and out of control, prayer offers something rare and sacred. There is stillness and a quiet place of refuge when life is too much to carry alone. It doesn’t require the right words, posture, or time of day. To pray, just show up with your hope, grief, gratitude, questions, and fears.

Deeply rooted in faith, prayer is a way of speaking with God. Beyond religious boundaries, it’s the act of opening our hearts while being vulnerable as we reach beyond ourselves. In that reaching, something shifts as we connect, release and trust.

Prayer isn’t always about asking for something. Often, it’s about surrender. When we’ve done all we can and are exhausted by effort and uncertainty, prayer becomes an act of letting go. Strength comes in a moment of surrender while whispering, “I can’t do this alone,”. Through prayer, countless people have found courage to face a diagnosis, comfort in their grief, or peace in the chaos of life. It may not change the outcome, but it always changes us.

One of the most powerful aspects of prayer is its ability to anchor us in a storm. Life is unpredictable. We lose people we love. Dreams slip away. The path ahead can be uncertain. Prayer doesn’t magically remove the pain, but it reminds us we’re not alone in it. It becomes a steady rhythm in our hearts: “ I BELIEVE. I’M NOT ALONE.”

Whether it’s a grandmother’s gentle prayer for her family, a child’s simple thank you before bed, or the desperate cry of someone in a hospital room, each prayer matters. Each one adds light to the darkness.

Prayer not only connects us with the divine but with each other. The phrase, “I’m praying for you,” is more than kind words. We’re joining hands in spirit and saying, “I care. I see you. I’m holding hope with you.” In this fragmented world, those moments of connection are priceless. Sometimes, the most beautiful prayers are silently given through tears spilled in the middle of a sleepless night. They carry just as much weight and love as those offered in the middle of a crowded church.

Far out on the high desert plains of northwestern Nevada, nestled among sagebrush and wind-shaped hills, a small but mighty prayer group wait without fanfare. This little group has been a lifeline for many, offering not only comfort and connection but, remarkably, a place where miracles have quietly unfolded.

Among them is the story of an 80-year-old who underwent open heart surgery over two weeks ago. Doctors were unsure if he’d survive the procedure, let alone recover. But the steadfast and faithful prayer warriors held him up in prayer. Against the odds, this gentleman is in rehab, walking, smiling, and praying for others in need. His recovery has stunned a medical team, reaffirming to the group what they’ve known all along. Prayer is the ultimate power when spoken in love and unity.

There will be seasons when prayer feels easy and seasons when it feels like shouting into the void. Both are okay. The beauty of prayer is that it meets us wherever we are and doesn’t require perfection. It only asks that we come honestly.

The power of prayer lies not in eloquence or outcome, but in the deep, invisible thread it weaves between us. In time, we may not remember all the words we prayed, but our hearts will remember the comfort, peace, and presence. There is quiet power in being heard. It teaches us to listen, hope, and love beyond what we can see.

If you’ve ever looked at your sensible home and thought, “What this place needs is Roman pillars, 58 bedrooms, and a private zoo,” then Hearst Castle was built for you. Nestled on the rolling hills of San Simeon like a celebrity hiding from the press, this historical mansion is the architectural lovechild of publishing tycoon William Randolph Hearst and architect Julia Morgan. Alone on its beautiful perch, it screams to the world, “I have more money than I know what to do with.”

Hearst Castle was built five miles past nowhere, just off California’s iconic Highway 1. The road to San Simeon winds along cliffs, through clouds, and over the collective dreams of writers like me. Beautiful and dramatic, it feels like a ride through a car commercial, minus the sleek SUV and perfect hair.

Other than cows, elephant seals, and a few zebras, there is nothing for miles along the coastline. That’s because the Hearst Corporation still runs a major cattle ranch there.

Once arriving at the interpretive center, a shuttle bus was waiting to carry us to the top of “The Enchanted Hill,” which is not metaphorical but literally enchanted. The views? Ocean on one side, hills on the other, and Aoudad occasionally photobombing like they own the place (because they kind of do). We were lucky enough to see a family of three sunning themselves on the hillside.

As soon as the bus dropped us off, we were immediately smacked in the face with opulence. Imagine if a European cathedral had a baby with a Hollywood film set, and then that baby inherited a billion-dollar trust fund and developed a taste for marble, gold, and indoor fountains. That’s the vibe.

The castle was designed by Julia Morgan, one of the first successful female architects in California. She and Mr. Hearst dreamed big for over 28 years, creating the castle on a hilltop where his family often camped in tents.

A Mediterranean village, a Moorish palace, and an art museum are all found in the same building. Each room is more exquisite than the last, with a dining hall that looks like the one at Hogwarts. The movie theater is a private screening room with a popcorn machine older than Grammie. The library contains more first editions than the US Library of Congress, while smelling like ancient wisdom and expensive wood polish.

If guests overstayed their welcome, Hearst would simply stop serving them alcohol. Bachelors stayed in one guest house, while single ladies were closely watched in the main house. Mr. Hearst was the only person who could cohabitate with his girlfriend, but then, he got to make all the rules.

Having visited before, HHH and I chose the Upstairs Suites Tour which was a 70-minute guided experience that delved into the upper levels of Casa Grande, Hearst Castle’s main residence. We climbed approximately 367 steps to discover Doge’s Suite, the Gothic Suite, and Duplex bedrooms.

Walking through the massive castle, my mind wandered back to days of black and white movies and glimpses of the one and only Marion Davies……

My favorite rooms of the castle were the matching Celestial Suites, located in the bell towers. These two rooms offer panoramic ocean views while being illuminated by natural light filtered through the structural arches.

No Hearst Castle visit is complete without a visit to the amazing the pools. The Neptune Pool is surrounded by ancient columns imported from Europe. The Roman Pool, an indoor stunner covered in glass tiles and gold leaf, looks like someone tried to bedazzle the Sistine Chapel and accidentally invented perfection.

You can’t swim in them, but you will join others in spending a solid 10 minutes figuring out how to make one your phone wallpaper.

If all that wasn’t enough, the gardens were amazing. Oranges and lemons grown there are donated to the local food bank. Under the clouds and the sea, the roses flourish. Truly a gardener’s delight.

So whether you’re a history buff, architecture nerd, or just really into Aoudad’s and an occasional wild zebra, Hearst Castle is a must-see. Just remember: pack your sense of wonder and maybe a monocle, for the vibes.

Leaving the ocean is always bittersweet, as the waves, salt air, and stillness provide space to breathe, reflect, and hold close the ones we love. This time, saying goodbye was even harder, as we left behind two incredible women who mean the world to us. They are both full of grace, wisdom, and a special strength that leaves a lasting mark on us every time we visit. Their love, wisdom, and humor are gifts we carry home each trip.

After all, it isn’t every day that visiting with an actual Goddess is possible. The Goddess of the Central Coast (GCC) earned that title years ago. To this day, she fits her regal name, often observed floating along the ocean front roads, top down, with tresses floating behind her. Having lived in the same area for decades while creating history along the way, she remembers all the best details of the Central Coast. It’s fun listening to her stories while trying to imagine life during those years when so few lived there.

Of course, no visit would be complete without spending time with Auntie TJ. How was I so blessed to have known and loved her my entire life???? A blessing it continues to be. When the two of us meet up, the giggling and stories begin. The difference now is that HHH adds to the laughter and any observer would believe he’d been with us every step of the way.

Along with visits to our two favorites, there was time to walk along the beach. Hand in hand, we found new rocks for our aquarium that continues to thrive. We had time to discuss upcoming plans for the gardens at Winterpast. Best of all, we had time to enjoy each other’s company in one of the most beautiful places on earth.

No trip to the ocean would be complete without HHH’s signature Steak and Lobster Dinner for Father’s Day. Again, he nailed it and we both ate until we were stuffed. That boy can cook!

As vacations go, there are always some down sides. When booking an AIRBNB, don’t just rely on pictures. A delightful outdoor area was taken over by a group celebrating a graduation for five days. But, the worst was unseen.

NEVER.

NEVER.

NEVER.

Never rent a downstairs apartment. How the landlord rented it to a herd of miniature ponies suffering from ADHD, we’ll never know. There is an AIRBNB that is off our list forever. Enough said about that.

I’ve always loved visiting the ocean. From the time I was a baby, my family enjoyed the beach when summer day temps in Fresno, California were above the century mark. So many memories of surf fishing and deep sea treasures like Ling-cod and rock fish. As little’s, we wouldn’t get out of the surf until we shivered uncontrollably, lips blue from the cold. Sleep came quickly in a squeaky metal Murphy bed under heavy handmade quilts after enjoying the best home-cooked meals. The Central Coast of California will always hold a special place in my heart.

After returning, we prepared for our Grief Share group at church last night. Wednesday nights are a sacred space where no one needs to be “ just okay.” Once a week, shared sorrow brings healing while hope glimmers through the cracks of heartbreak.

It was our turn to provide a little meal. HHH and I whipped up Ziti and French bread. There’s something very healing about sharing a meal with friends. Everyone had a wonderful time, and we’re glad to be back home with our friends. Whether by the sea or among our church family, we’re surrounded by love.

With the suitcases put away and the dogs back at home, we’re ready for a summer of fun. In two weeks, we’ll be sitting alongside Main Street watching the Independence Day Parade pass by. There’s no place in the world we’d rather be this summer.

Here’s to honoring life. Times and places we must leave, those we return to, and the people who help us walk through each one.

We’ve been dreaming of a peaceful beach vacation! The kind with fruity drinks, no responsibilities, and maybe some light toe-in-sand existential reflection. Leaving behind two high-maintenance dogs and a garden that rivals the Amazon Rainforest takes time and thought and it takes Team Winterpast to keep things going during our absence.

Three weeks ago, HHH looked out at our backyard jungle and said, “It’ll be fine. The plants are automatically watered and Oliver and Wookie will be at the kennel. All will be fine. Don’t worry about a thing.”

Last week, we walked through our garden to assess the situation. It was like walking through a therapy session with every plant we’ve ever neglected. Everything in the garden is at a critical time in their life cycle right now. With blooming tomatoes and baby zucchini, the new irrigation system needs to be supplemented with AM and PM watering.

Realizing we’d need to hire a botanist or perform a detailed rain dance, we did the next best thing by making a detailed care schedule. Last night, we handed off the plans to Ninja Neighbor, who will happily water for us in exchange for some cherries! Win! Win! for both sides of the fence.

In an hour, I’ll be off on a two-hour tour to drop the dogs at Puppy Camp for the week. Oliver is a 30-pound Standard Wire-Haired dachshund who resembles Valcor from “A Never Ending Story”. Wookie is a miniature Aussie-Doodle who lost her miniature side sometime ago. Between the two of them, there is never-ending drama. The person who makes all this work is our wonderful friend Michelle at Puppy Palace. We only need to mention her name, and the two dogs lose their mind. Little do they know that they are only half as excited as HHH and I.

This week, packing for myself only took 45 minutes, as I carefully selected clothing for a different climate. On the other hand, HHH assures me that his packing will take 5-10 minutes on the morning we leave. I’ve seen him in action. It’s a thing a beauty when someone can remember everything they need to take and fill their suitcase with speed and grace.

While I’m gone to drop the dogs off at Puppy Palace, HHH will be meeting with a new landscaper to get an estimate for work in the front yard. It’s better that I’m not there to complicate things with extra little jobs.

While on vacation, I won’t be worried about blogging, gardening, or playing ball with Oliver and Wookie. We plan to put our feet up and relax for the entire week, as we find respite from the demands of retirement here on the high desert plains of Northwestern Nevada.

I hope your week is grand. I’ll be back to fill you in on our vacation on Thursday, June 19th. Until then, may spring sunshine and happiness fill your days.

Wire formed into words hangs over my kitchen table. My best friend, CC, is the one who gave it to me as a housewarming present six years ago. Two words. “CHOOSE HAPPINESS!” That’s something everyone in the world needs to do right now. Just sit down and be truly grateful for the blessings in life. No matter what trials we face, we all enjoy blessings, too.

You can’t buy a jar of “Happy” through Amazon. The biggest jackpot at the local casino won’t do it. Even living in the best house on the best street in the most wonderful desert town won’t do it. It sprouts from within, quietly at first.

Happiness strikes a chord in our heart when we find THE ONE THING we’re supposed to do with our lives and do it. I’m finally healed enough to go on with my journey. MY ONE THING used to be teaching. The flames of my passion were never extinguished, but instead, were dwarfed by grief, sadness, and loneliness that consumed me. Years have passed. Now, it’s time to try new gifts and talents.

No one can leave a box of happiness on your doorstep. It doesn’t appear with prideful demands or expectations. It just happens.

There’s no measure to tell you when you’ve found enough. Like painting, a small stroke transfers into a smear and smudge. Soon, friends begin to ask if you’ve been painting the hallway. You might not even notice at first. Internal happiness blooms like that, and soon, a noticeable change occurs.

“This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. Being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it what I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.”― George Bernard Shaw

Now, isn’t that is just the best quote ever? “Feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy?” I just love that.

I intend to be thoroughly worn-out before I’m thrown into the scrap heap.

I refuse to waste another moment as a “feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making me happy”.

I choose to be a force of nature, like the wind.

What affirmations! The only person who can turn on the happy is me. It’s a choice.

A few years ago, I had the most wonderful lunch with three couples, a mom, and a daughter. Each couple carried heavy burdens. One couple would enjoy their mother on this earth only a few more days. One couple shared only three legs between them. Everyone had scars from Covid. I was the “Plus .5” that no one wants to be. Each one of us had reason to dominate the table with tales of woe. But we didn’t choose to do that.

Instead, there we sat after church, brand new friends enjoying each other’s company. For two hours, we laughed, enjoyed our meal, and got to know one another. Even the teen daughter, who had ever right to be very unhappy due to the 50 year age difference between us, added humor to the lunch, enjoying little conversations with everyone at the table.

The man that had the best attitude of all had just had his leg amputated a few months before. With an infectious attitude of kindness and gratitude, he had us all laughing with his amazing stories during this most special lunch. It was an afternoon I will remember.

So, make a choice today. If you must, “Fake it ’til you make it.” We all have our “somethings” that are unpleasant and painful. If we take inventory, we’ll see that the basket that holds our “beautifuls” overflows into a colorful puddle that can look a lot like happiness.

More tomorrow.