Category: 2024

The honey bee! Apis Mellifera! A most delightful little animal! In the company of like-minded friends, we immersed ourselves into the interesting world of bees. From 8 until 4, we learned basic things two new bee-keepers should know. Just like that, we have a new set of friends with skill sets that will help us through our first year as we tend to our apiary.

In 1983, I was a young mom with little ones aged 2 and 3. For some crazy reason, bee-keeping became a hobby of mine for a time. Each week, I’d visit our 40 hives and collect the pollen we’d robbed from the bees. At that time, three local health food stores were eager to buy the local pollen.

Pollen is an amazing food that holds many health benefits. I remember cleaning the pollen while my babies took their afternoon naps. I’d carefully sift, weigh, and package my product and then take the babies on outings. For a time, it was a wonderful hobby. But, as babies do, mine turned into little boys. In 1983, my marriage ended, along with my bee-keeping hobby.

Gardening has always been a favorite hobby. When I purchased Winterpast in 2020, one of the main enticements was her gardens. At the time, I couldn’t visualize possibilities. Then, HHH, came along and now, future projects are endless.

For Christmas, HHH received one un-assembled bee-hive. Since then, bees have become our focus. Just a simple hive of 30,000 bees with a queen to run the place. Of course, they all have jobs, which even include undertaker bees that drag the unfortunates out of the hive. There are nursemaids and guards. Drones. The Queen. It’s all so exciting, we can’t wait to begin.

As we listened to seasoned bee-keepers, we learned about all the things we still need to purchase. More importantly, we learned about the time line for a year of bee-keeping. I have a feeling HHH and I are going to enjoy many mornings sitting to the side of the hive while watching their activities.

Bees keep the internal hive temp at 94 degrees to care for the developing embryos. They do this by fanning their wings to either cool or heat their hive. They like things the way they like them. If conditions get too crowded, they split the hive and half of them swarm. They know how to feed the Queen her life-long diet of Royal Jelly, and they also know when to get rid of her.

One thing one must never do is stand directly in front of the entrance to the hive. Nope. It seems the bees are not very happy about people who do. Otherwise with a little smoke and slow and deliberate movements, they can be handled quiet easily. I still remember how much I enjoyed this hobby, even after so many years have passed.

Yesterday, we attended the family baby shower. While lost in a sea of littles aged one month old and up, we learned about a close family friend that’s also a bee-keeper. How great to have an emergency phone number if our hive starts to struggle. Again, small-town nice comes to the rescue!

Our bees will be delivered to us from California in April. As a functioning group known as a NUC, we’ll be purchasing a queen and all her helper-bees. They’ll arrive in a cardboard box, already a complete community living on five frames. And so it will begin.

This year, if everything goes as planned, we hope to harvest 60 pounds of honey off our hive. We’re ready to put up the good fight against mites, which can weaken a hive. We know when to look for the dreaded moths, and when to install mouse guards. Even with everything we learned, there are a thousand more things we’ll learn by trial and error.

And so, our garden plans grow. This week, we’ll going to start seeds in the greenhouse as we choose plants that produce a wide variety of nectar and pollen.

With two very rambunctious dogs that insist on barking at and digging at the fence next to our neighbor, we’ve found the perfect place for our hive. Our friends, the bees, will take care of that problem. The hive will sit right in that very corner. Win. Win.

This week will be a busy one with two trips to the biggest little city to the west. The roses are pruned and we’ll move on to the trees. A fence is planned for the garden area. Some work on the greenhouse. Spring will be here before we know it and it will be glorious!

Whatever you do today, remember one of your hobbies of the past. Maybe, just maybe, it’s still something that holds interest for you. As for me, it’s off to learn more about the bees.

More tomorrow.

Our pastor and his wife are great examples for the community. Helpful in every way, they are always on the move, finding ways to spread goodness wherever they go. Never asking for anything in return, they watch over our small congregation. They are very, very special to each and to every one of us.

So, a few Sundays back, it was no surprise they had placed a variety of free books on the “Please Help Yourself” table. More reading leads to better writing. Not in a plagiaristic way, but in a more creative way. Through words, each writer helps me consider new situations through their unique style.

In May, 2020, I hadn’t read a book for over a year. As a matter of fact, I’d written very few words over 32 years. Such a special gift I’d abandoned. With life’s demands for time and energy, the struggle to keep that flame alive was too difficult and I lost my voice and words. Thankfully, a tiny ember remained in my gut, waiting for a time that I’d be free to express myself.

In 2007, I’d purchased a set of books by Jan Karon. An entire series of orange and cream, the books were all about a town in Mitford, North Carolina. When I couldn’t sleep in those first evenings as a widow, I’d just teleport into the little town while I learned about Father Timothy Kavanaugh and his parishioners. During long and lonely Covid isolation, reading brought me words of comfort and new friends that jumped right off the pages and into my heart.

It was there she told the love story about an old widow, her long-a-go love Williard, and the name “Winterpast” carved into the beams of the most beautiful mansion in her town.

As the story went, the young woman and her mother traveled to France on holiday. There she met young Williard, who was working in pharmaceuticals. They became fast friends and took that friendship back home to Mitford.

She had no way of knowing this particular gent was the one person her father would never allow her to marry, even though his intentions were pure and his love for her deep and unwavering. As the years went by, her father’s hatred only grew, as did the wealth of young Willard. His new chemical compounds were sold making him a very rich man.

Years before, he’s promised he would build her the mansion of her dreams. Over the years, her father’s hatred grew even more, until the two shared a secret that rocked the town. The bad thing was, her father lied and Willard paid the price.

As the for mansion, he did build it and it was magnificent. An artist even spent months painting the walls of the ballroom. He’d told her that there was a special word inscribed on the beam of the home and she’d wondered throughout her entire life if he had, and more importantly, what was the word. Bedridden in old age, being more tired than sick, there was nothing else to do but ask Father Timothy to go to that very home and find the inscription.

He did.

There it was.

Winterpast.

At the time of my first reading, I hadn’t found a church, baptism, and my new life as a Christian. I owned several Bibles, but hadn’t opened them to find the treasures within. The word Winterpast had no real meaning, and so, I had to do some research. As it turned out, the word was plucked out of two words written in Song of Solomon Chapter 2: 10-13 (winter passed).

It took no more than a second and I knew a truth. My new home would be named Winterpast. My Winter WOULD pass with time and this would be the home in which that would happen.

Now, back to Sunday at the “Please Help Yourself” table.

There were books written by all kinds of Christians. There were some written by sports figures. There were study Bibles. But in the middle of the table, there was one book that caught my eye.

Oh. My. Goodness.

Jan Karon.

Snatching the book with lightning quick reflexes, I read the cover. A Continual Feast — Words of Comfort and celebration collected by Father Tim. My Father Tim from Mitford, North Carolina, where there sits a mansion built for the one true love of the scientist with the word “Winterpast” carved in the sixth rafter from the northwest wall on the third floor attic.

I think I was cradling this book when the Pastor’s wife came up to me and said, “Joy, that book might need a little explanation. It’s not just an ordinary book. It is tied to a very special series.”

With a smile, I nodded. “I know. I already know. A book from Father Timothy just for me.”

There are small little connections and miracles that surround us every day. It would have been easy enough to go right to our seats in church and never look at the table. I could have overlooked the cover, missing a complete book of Father Timothy’s favorite inspirational quotes. I’m so glad I didn’t.

To close this week, I want to share a quote that Father Timothy inscribed in the book. If you’ve been reading carefully, you’ll find a strange similarity to a musicians lyrics on which I commented earlier in the week. Has she been to Mitford, too?

Paradoxical Commandments

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
   Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
   Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
   Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
   Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
   Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
   Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
   Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
   Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
   Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
   Give the world the best you have anyway. _{Kent M. Keith. “The Paradoxical Commandments.”}

Whatever today brings, live your best life. Keep on loving, doing good, being honest, thinking big, fighting for underdogs, building, helping, and giving your best. There just isn’t anything more rewarding than that.

Have a great weekend. I’ll be back Monday.

Wedding gifts come in all forms. Last October, my Hubba-Hubba-Hubby and I were blessed with beautiful gifts from our guests. But, one of the most precious we received didn’t come in a pretty box all tied up with ribbon. It came through a song sung to us by our dearest and sweetest Ninja Neighbor.

Now, Ninja Neighbor is absolutely as real as the day is long. She loves laughter and gardening and became a dear friend the day I moved into Winterpast, in April 2020. She was there for VST’s memorial, helping my to get through that very tough day. She’s been there ever since, always happy to be helpful.

Think of the most gorgeous blonde you can, and Ninja Neighbor has her beat. From her beautiful eyes to her long blonde hair and killer smile, she is a knock-out. But, her real beauty comes from deep within, for her heart is pure and sweet. And did I mention? That girl can SING!!!!

She’s often told me that she’d be happy to sing for me at any time, but I never took her up on the offer. And so, for our wedding, she surprised us and dedicated a song to us that I’d never heard. How did she know the lyrics would reflect experiences I had during my four summers as a widow? With each of life’s disappointments, I’d pray, dream, do, build, and write again, always knowing God is great. She knew all this and chose to sing Martina McBride’s song “Anyway”.

Jaws dropped throughout the reception hall because it was a show stopper. Heartfelt, she belted out every note. It was if we’d been transported to a concert by Martina McBride herself, only a million times later. This was a most precious gift meant especially for HHH and me. She will forever be referred to as “The Singer At the Wedding” by family and friends that are still thinking about her performance.

Please take a little time to think about these lyrics and the message they hold. No matter what, Never, Ever, Ever Give Up, because the life, dream, and love are right there for you to snatch, especially when the going gets rough.

Anyway — _{inspired by the original by Martina McBride}

You can spend your whole life building something from nothing.

Life’s storms come take it all away.

Build anyway

You can chase a dream that seems so out of reach.

You know it might never come your way.

Dream it anyway.

God is great.

But sometimes life ain’t good.

When WE pray, it doesn’t always turn out like WE think it should.

Pray anyway.

This world’s gone crazy and it’s hard to believe that tomorrow will be better than today.

Believe anyway.

You can love someone with all your heart and in a second, illness takes them away.

Love anyway.

God is great.

But sometimes life ain’t good.

When WE pray, it doesn’t always turn out like WE think it should.

Pray anyway

You can pour your soul out writing a story you believe in.

Tomorrow, they’ll forget you wrote a word.

Write anyway.

Yeah, write it anyway.

Remember.

Build.

Dream.

Love.

Write.

Pray.

Anyway.

More tomorrow.

The past month was filled with so many different types of JOY, it’s hard to pick a topic from the choices. From celebrating our new marriage to enjoying small town traditions, this Christmas season held it all and this year, it’s hard to move on. Just a few weeks back, we were unpacking our Christmas boxes. In the blink of an eye, it’s time to repack the holidays for next year.

As our Christmas lights glow for the last few nights, I’m reminded of a new experience I encountered during this very new marriage to HHH.

HHH had been itching to do SOMETHING with the front yard. ANYTHING AT ALL. When I moved into Winterpast in 2020, the plants and bushes were so high, the house was hidden. It’s a beautiful place that shines all on her own, however, the juniper bushes weren’t doing her any favors. Everything but the trees were removed in 2021.

Since then, xeriscaping has produced a fine look for me, with plans for zero scaping in the future. With wild mustangs eating everything in sight, there’s no reason to plant anything until a fence is installed. That’s the big plan for Winterpast this year. A front yard fence! But, for now, the barren landscape has been sprayed for weeds and sits awaiting spring.

Each evening until December 1st, HHH would sit on the front porch pondering just what he would do with lights. And then, it was time to begin. It started with white ice cycle lights around the front of the house. Pristine and emitting a soft glow, the look was just right for Winterpast. That would have been an amazing improvement, but he wasn’t stopping there.

Every day was filled with the search for more lights. More extension cords. The location of the GFI breaker when it was tripped. More decorations. A family of deer. Two trees. nets of colored lights. It went on and on. All the while, the Marine-Across-The-Street was observing and putting up a fine display of his own.

The dueling Marines encouraged each other with every new strand of lighting they installed. Lighted candy canes appeared in one yard. Trees came alive with lighting in another. Slowly, our street became a sea of beautiful lights probably visible from space.

My Ninja Neighbor joined in the fun, making her yard into a wonderland of white lighting. Everyone on our street became involved in this endeavor. The mystery neighbor got with it and decorated his porch with lights. The people-on-the-move took time to light up their front door. Little by little the unexpected joy of Christmas lights took over. More than once, I noticed cars driving slowly down our street enjoying the results of our holiday spirit.

H-H-H Marine is already planning for next year. A forest of trees to the north of the drive. A decorated door on the RV barn. Animated figures. Maybe a manger scene with real animals. The possibilities are endless. With 2,000 new white lights, he’s planning to fancy up the back yard for those summer barbeques we’re planning. And the twinkly fun goes on and on.

I must report on one unexpected event that took us by surprise. It involves The Wookie, our girl-fur-baby. Wookie is an Aussie-Doodle who is very, very smart. She is also agile, learning that my dining room table was a fun place on which to jump for a better view out the window. Never have I ever!!!

Monday night, HHH was going to work his magic with two lovely pork chops. Not thin porkchops. No. These were the thick, delicious, delicious, gourmet type. He’d been working on the recipe all day while the chops thawed on the kitchen counter.

Late in the day, I was watering poinsettias, when I noticed there was only one porkchop on the plate. I thought HHH had probably put the second one in the microwave to thaw it a bit.

At about that time, I noticed our Wookie outside on the lawn. In a strange stance, she looked like she was in the middle of something. Perhaps choking. Perhaps relieving herself. Or perhaps……….

You guessed it.

She had STOLEN one beautiful chop from the counter!!!!

We now have a counter-surfing kitchen thief extraordinaire on our hands. What a character!!!

HHH was not amused. He and the Wookie had a very serious meeting outside in which, after much protest, 1/2 a chop was retrieved. An Unexpected Joy for the Wookie. I guess everyone needs to enjoy a holiday moment now and then.

Whatever you do today, don’t underestimate the lengths wo which your pets will go when a beautiful porkchop is involved. They are much smarter and more resourceful than we think. Gee, it must have been her who emptied the box of See’s candy……Yes. We’ll stick with that story.

More tomorrow.

What a difference a month of rest and relaxation can make!!! Throughout the holiday season, Hubba-Hubba-Husband and I were constantly reminded of the miracles in this great world. Although the broadcast news would make us all believe we’re surrounded by grinchy jackals and thieves, we found our little town on the high dessert plains of Northwest Nevada to be a bit like Who-Ville. Small town sweet and kind.

The holiday season can be full of ghosts that lurk in boxes of Christmas past. There were some decorations that didn’t make it to the 2023 display. After playing for 33 years, my set of electrified brass musical bells decided they had played their last song. The little Christmas village lost all power due to old and shoddy wiring. Other smaller decorations lost their luster over the long hot summer. And so, our Christmas decorations were pared down.

As for the exterior lighting, HHH went overboard to win our neighborhood lighting award. From a family of deer to exact lighted replicas of Oliver and Wookie, our house sparkled under at least 50,000 lights. And, during our first Christmas season, we sparkled just as brightly as Winterpast took on a festive glow.

When I moved to Winterpast in 2020, I was a new widow of just 17 days. A week before Christmas, I managed to trip over Oliver’s bed and sprain my ankle. The first year without a husband is pretty rough. Although VST and I shared not one real holiday tradition for 33 years, the lack of tradition was a tradition in itself. I didn’t know any different. We made Christmas Eve our shopping day, and spent more than one enjoying an empty mall while choosing our own gifts. It was just the way we rolled and there is something to be said for simplicity.

So, when my first widowed Christmas arrived in 2020, lights weren’t even in my thoughts. Of course, Winterpast would remain dark, with Oliver and I cocooned on the couch, nursing my bruises.

I did enjoy 9 presents, each one representing a month alone. During that first year, I had chosen a word a month that represented our relationship over the years. Friendship. Love. Adventure. Faith. Etc. With each new month, the word was my life-line when the hours became overwhelming. When about to lose it, I would simply think of the word of the month and all the reasons that word was so appropriate. Pretty soon, I’d be smiling and the crisis would be washed away in a sea of beautiful memories.

That first Christmas, I’d also included a note to my grieving self. Those words, written over the previous 9 months, spoke to the healing and birth of a new woman. And, those words, as words always do, helped heal my soul as days turned into months, and then years. Without actual lights, the soft glow from inside the house intensified. There was life inside, even if battered and bruise. That life would need time to heal until at some point, lights would be appropriate.

Over four years later, there is no doubt two very happy newlyweds live here now. Any light display wouldn’t be complete without a cross. Christ IS the reason for the season and it WAS represented in a huge white cross a blaze with twinkling lights.

This year, HHH and I shared many traditions, new to me. From hurrying to the door to hide presents, to putting up our beautiful tree, HHH was right there enjoying every minute with me. Just two lovely senior citizens enjoying their second month as a married couple. We finished our lovely holiday season by hosting a dinner for friends that were alone. Twelve new friends visited over ham, scalloped potatoes and homemade carrot cake. A wonderful meal was enjoyed by all.

As promised, through the month of December, we spent lots of time talking about the new blog site. Hubba-Hubba-Husband and I finally decided on a name. With a special nod to our love for gardening, it will focus on the surprises of marrying later in life. We plan to share our adventures with you, and yes, you will hear from HHH, as he has a lot to say. Stay tuned for upcoming information on the new blog. It is within days of blooming.

Throughout the years, Grievinggardener.com has helped me through very dark times as I healed through grief. It helped me to find the woman that was there all along. As you all took time to read, I could feel your prayers and love. And slowly, through words, I healed.

Now, it’s time to share our new life. Just Two Romantic Roses enjoying life to the fullest. I promise you laughter and plenty of good gardening tips. I hope you come along for the ride with HHH and me, making happy memories of us.

More tomorrow.