Category: 2022

Dear Joy,

It’s me.

You.

Right here, alive and well, albeit 46 years in the future. There are a few things I wish you could know right now as you begin your 21st year of life. Listening I know you are, as you always loved a great story. If only I could, I’d be the voice in your head, helping you make better choices along the way. But if that were so, I couldn’t have come up with all this great advice. You’ll take life and devour it on your own terms, even if you break down a few times on the road to 67.

In 1976, few understand the spirit of an independent woman. Keep on rebelling and questioning every bit of dogma the establishment throws your way. With few worthy mentors in your life, blaze your own trail, leaving others to shake their heads. Forget about the judgmental nay-sayers. If they’re talking about you, you’re doing something worth talking about. Something to live by.

Outwardly, keep being the good girl and fly under the radar. For Now. Keep watching and thinking. When the time is right bolt right out the gate, running as fast, free, and far as you can. Wide open spaces are what you need. They’ll be plenty of messy mistakes in which you’ll need room to heal and grow. You’ve been given the best foundation and soon you’ll find the need to fly with your own two wings.

Through the years, some mistakes will haunt you for a lifetime. Just remember, life isn’t black and white. Those grey areas are riddled with trip wires. You’ll give in when you should have gotten out. You’ll escape when your physical life is threatened. Under your heart, you’ll raise two human beings into fine young men that you’ll love more than yourself, even gifting them the very color of your eyes. For far too long, the past will hold you back until life propels you into the most wonderful future you could imagine.

All the while, you’ll have the luxury of a family that adores their little one, until you no longer need adoring because you are no longer adorable or little. By then, life will be your own.

Remember the pictures you used to draw of that magical place you’d never seen? Way out in the land of the setting sun where the wind blows wild and free? Deep in the heart of the Golden west, where the desert meets the hills? Where the moonbeams play in the shadowed Glen? It’s surely the loveliest place I know but it will take you a few decades to get there.

Living the rest of your life there, you’ll curse the wild horses when they poop in your own front yard, and then worry about them when they don’t come around. In that beautiful desert, you’ll choose your new family of friends carefully. You’ll find the God you thought you’d lost had carried you from some pretty bad fires. Don’t worry. Even when you think you’ve lost it all in a sea of despair, love will find you. Your story is one of happiness, and that includes the ending.

Through the decades between us, a few lifelong cornerstone friends will know when you need them, and you’ll know the same of them. Through the years, final earthly Goodbye’s will break your heart, but only because you loved so deeply. Life’s worthy trade off.

At times, your head will steer you in directions that make sense, add up, and look right. Your heart will lead in other directions that feel cozy and right for a while. But your own true North can be found by listening to the voice that comes from a much deeper place, speaking in quiet knowing tones. Find comfort and your truth in that voice. Listen, even if it takes all your strength to follow.

That voice will lead you to a high school reunion far in the future, where you’ll reunite with a true and dear heart-friend. Together, your life will bloom into one few in this world get to experience. With true love comes heartbreaking grief for one. A widow’s burden will be yours to bear, but not before you are safely home in the desert you will love so deeply.

You’ve had many dreams before and many more will come in your lifetime. Some will be irreparably broken. That’s just the way of life. One thing is certain. You don’t envision hollow dreams.

Do, in your own original way and time, what is YOU. If people are shocked, maybe they need shocking. Your story will always be a unique one, with only you knowing the plot twists that’ll eventually see you through. Be the courageous and strong woman your mother and father raised you to be. Be your own best friend, because in life, you’ll never find one more true.

You are worthy of the stars and the moon. Believe it. Somewhere far in the future, you’ll find that cabin on the lake with the golden sun setting just so as you write your next blog while the soup simmers on the stove. Loneliness will come and go, but a settled heart will get you through. Don’t abandon your will to meet the expectations of others. Your decisions are worthy of self-respect. Second guessing is a waste of time when, in reality, you just need to choose your next best steps.

Joy of 1976, you are a beautiful, thoughtful, and resourceful young woman. Your future adventures will give me material for books full of amazing stories we’ll share with the world. Go live your best life, as you will. Trust me. It’ll be an amazing and adventurous one. From far in the future, I look back wishing you peace and love at this beautiful time of year.

Merry Christmas.

Astronomically speaking, the first day of winter is today. Meteorologically speaking, the first day of winter is December 1st. In the desert, it seems winter starts a little earlier than that. It seems much colder this year. Perhaps that’s because my old bones are a year older. It’s certainly not because I’m any less padded. Oh well, my Grandfather used to say a woman needs extra padding to make it through a hard winter. If that’s the case, I’ll surely survive a few more even if the power goes out.

Today we observe the Winter Solstice. It’s the day with the shortest number of daylight hours and the longest night. To my Alaskan readers I can only say that I don’t know how you do it. It’s hard enough to get everything done in 9 daylight hours. You folks get it done in a little over 5 hours. To my readers in the Southern Hemisphere, chuckle on. I know you’re basking in summers warm temps. You’ll get your turn at winter in a few months.

The winter and summer solstice refer to the shortest and longest days of the year while the spring and autumn equinoxes fall on days with the same amount of day and night hours. For me, the winter solstice is when I say Goodbye to my favorite time of year, while marching towards the longer days of spring. For me, it’s the long winter nights that are a bit trying. Until last night.

For years, I’ve been developing the ideal bed. One-third of our lives are spent sleeping. Add a few more for retirement napping. It should be peaceful and cocoon-y, not tossed and turned like a green salad. Slowly, I’ve amassed the right number of down pillows, a down comforter, and a mattress that can flip into zero gravity with the press of a button. I was still missing the main component. Sheets.

I remember the days of my mother hanging her sheets on the clothes line to dry. Farmers were the original “Green” inhabitants of this world. The sheets would smell sunshine fresh when we crawled into bed. Laundry was another big detail that Mother handled masterfully with the help of her five minions. Even our pillow cases were freshly ironed every week. A proper German household she ran.

Over the past year, I’ve attempted to find sheets of olden days. In the 1900’s, sheets were sheets. The best quality sheets were percale cotton. They didn’t cost enough to break the bank. A boring part of life, you bought white cotton sheets that lasted decades. Use. Weekly wash and dry on the line. Use again. With each use, the sheets got softer and softer, but remained serviceable forever.

There was no such thing as fitted sheets at our house. WE all knew how to dress our beds in military style, tight with boxed corners. It had to meet with her approval. That’s just how it was done. For years. How I wish I had those sheets today.

Over the last year, I’ve come to one conclusion. No matter the amazing thread counts or promise of the finest cotton and finish, good sheets cost some dough. Sticker shock will get you if you’re not prepared.

Christmas time is a time for gifts. This year, I tried to gift myself a robot to vacuum my floors. It ate my Christmas tree skirt. Alexa already has control of the house, she doesn’t need any more gadgets to commander. At a bit of a loss, I’d almost given up on the idea, when I realized something I really needed. Sheets fit for Presidents. Royalty. And one widowed woman living in the wide spot of a dusty little road off the interstate on the high desert plains of Nevada. Me.

On the internet, you can find such luxuries. I did. I shopped a 40% off sale, settled on flannel, and pushed “Complete Purchase”.

When the box came, I couldn’t wait. I know. I know. It’s not Christmas yet. But it IS Christmas week. Slowly, I opened the exquisite packing box. Inside, there they were. The most beautiful flannel sheets in “Coastal Grandma” Buffalo plaid. Tan, Light Grey, and Beige. The stitching is perfection. The fabric, a herringbone weave of flannel. The weight just right. It’s as if I went back in time to the days that everything high quality was made in America. Well, not quite. These were made in Portugal from Egyptian cotton, but you get the idea. These sheets are 1900’s yummy.

Last night was the test run. I am here to report that the quest for great sheets is over. I have a winter set that will last much longer than I will. Mission accomplished.

Through the next three months, the trees of Winterpast will continue their deep sleep. Although they shudder in the high desert winds, any other sign of life is gone. Outlined with frosty snowflakes at times, the back yard takes on a different beauty. On full moon nights, the outlines of the trees make their ghostly appearance through my bedroom blinds. Eerie shadows dancing outside the bedroom window cause me to turn away as I fall asleep.

Winter on the desert includes another magical event as random and illusive as the mustangs. Pogonip. One day last year, while out walking, I noticed the air was sparkling with floating glitter. The beauty of the moment caught me off guard and I had to stop. Truly, I thought I’d lost my ever-lovin’ mind. The faintest sparkles were hanging in the air like tiny diamonds, while swirling this way and that. I didn’t mention it to anyone for awhile for surely I’d imagined it. After asking a local, I found it was real. It’s called pogonip, or freezing fog. I normally hate fog, but the next time this occurs I plan to Pachanga through the pogonip. The desert is a magical place, perfect for a Pachanga Party.

Winter holds time to think and redirect. Time to envision new garden plans. Time for soup and yummy hot dishes. Time to sleep a little later in the morning and turn in a little earlier each evening. Time to cuddle with photo albums and smile at the happy memories made so long ago. Time for new memories with someone very special. Winter is the loveliest of seasons.

Whatever you do today, enjoy the Winter Solstice. Have some hot chocolate while wrapping presents and listening to Christmas music. There are only a few more days until candlelight and celebrations. Enjoy!

More tomorrow.

There are those things that go thump in the night giving one cause for pause. Here at Winterpast, random things have fallen over. Like the tea pot on the cupboard above my counters. Toppled right over in the night. Auntie TJ’s beautiful painting fell right off the nail that was holding it up with a crash in the night. Random things that I’m choosing to ignore as random. For now.

I learned my lesson a year ago. That night, CC and I were chatting about the latest happenings here in the high desert when there was an alarming noise outside. A thud? No. A slide? No. Not a bang or a snap, either. A dull noise made by something very, very big. Alarmed, I stopped the conversation and listened for a bit, finally writing off the event to something I thought I heard. It couldn’t have been real. I must have been imagining things.

A few nights went by, with quiet being the signature sound coming from my neighborhood. It’s so quiet, either in the day or night, that I can hear my heart beat in the silence. Rarely do I hear a stray voice or the sound of a hedge trimmer or hammer. Just silence. I’m often awakened in the night by the far away sounds of a lonely train zipping through town or Jake Brakes on the interstate. Once in awhile, a stray Top Gun jet might fly over on its way to home base, or a life flight helicopter racing someone to the hospital in the next town over. No barking dogs or bickering neighbors. Just peace and quiet.

Stray noises of the unusual kind do stand out, and sure enough, on the next very dark night there was something very large right outside my bedroom window. Moving about, it was enough of sound that I grabbed the flashlight to find out, once and for all, what would be making this noise on my property, right next to my bedroom window.

After turning on my extremely bright porch lights while Oliver barked loudly, I proceeded outside, turning left to walk in front of my studio window. In the total darkness of night I saw nothing, which made me hold the Mag Flashlight as a weapon. Whatever was there would receive a bit of a headache if an attack occurred.

It was then that not just one but two mustangs came around the corner of my house. But of course!!! The Mustangs!!! The corner of my fence and house make the perfect manger/windbreak. Relieved it wasn’t someone wanting to do me harm, I backed away, encouraging them to move on down the road. The quiet clippity-clop of their hooves on the asphalt roadway fit the night as they disappeared into the darkness. They’d need to find another place to shelter for the night. No room at Winterpast.

How lucky I am to enjoy Winter in a place so safe that I venture into the night to investigate a noise. What a blessing to live with majestic animals like the mustangs that choose us as their neighbors. Although I’m pretty sure I heard them grumbling as they left, I hope there were no hard feelings. They’ll be back soon.

As for the toppling trinkets, things have settled. Here in the desert, we’re built on sand. Sometimes things shift a little. Thank goodness not as much as they just shifted in Humboldt County, California. Those folks need our prayers as they clean up from the recent earthquake. It’s a place unlike the California you see on the nightly news. A conservative haven in a state riddled with confusion. May they get back to normal soon.

Whatever you do today, do it with some cheerful thoughts of the Christmas to come and holidays past. Unless it’s something 1,000 lbs. or more, or a 6.2 earthquake, try not to get rattled by things that go thump in the night. Investigate by the light of the day. It’s safer.

Only 2 more days until the real fun begins. Go ahead. Start celebrating early. That’s what I plan to do.

More tomorrow.

‘Twas two nights before Christmas, in Winterpast I was home,

Soaking in the hot tub, praying for world-wide Shalom.

One stocking was hung by the chimney with care,

Sewn by me when two boys on my lap were still there.

Oliver nestled asleep in his crate,

Dreamin’ of doggie treats and how they’d taste great.

Later dried, watching movies, my nest feelin’ just right

I’d just snoozed off for restful sleep in the night

When my cell phone did rumble and ding with a clatter

From my Bestie, CC, checking on me to chatter.

Through all of our words we shared events of the day,

The next day promising a call to check in and say “Hey”.

With the star brightly shining, true happiness shone through

Two foggy years in the wilderness, widow’s journey almost through.

With sleep not appearing while I tried to relax,

The cell phone complained, my quiet now cracked.

Just Sweet Daughter checking from so far away.

A surprise of the best kind, better than presents on a sleigh.

“Everything now brighter, we’ll remember the good.

Sleep well, time heals all as we knew it would.”

Hope, Faith, and Trust, I reflect on tonight.

Santa is great, but to these things hold on tight.

My journey through life holds beauty, it’s true

There’s Hope for tomorrow, Trust that Faith blooms anew.

When the phone complained again, just once more for good measure,

Mysterious Marine checked in. A man quiet treasured.

Company tomorrow? Dinner cooked up for Miss Lazy?

“Can you check tomorrow?”

Wait….. What???????

Am I crazy?????

After a night’s sleeping, I’m not feeling as frumpy,

No time for the blues or being down in the dumpy.

Today will be one to get Christmas just right

With Hope, Faith, and Love, my spirit takes flight.

Down with the sadness, self pity, and blues.

Up with carols, treats, and friendships true.

Thanks CC, Thanks Miss Firecracker, both of you know

When troubled about life, to you I go.

Thanks Daughter, TJ, and Cambria Goddess, too,

What would I do without my Christmas angels, You?????

Heart smiling, I’ll enjoy a great dinner tonight.

The Mysterious Marine will season everything just right.

So Dash Away, Dash Away, Dash Away all.

Off to the grocery store, down to the mall.

Finish the wrapping with ribbons and bows,

With love for each other, happiness grows.

I send you this, My Christmas wish true,

Merry Christmas, Dear Friends, with love to you.

Thank you for finding interest in my writing while helping me get through my third Christmas as a widow. Your steady love, friendship, and prayers are helping me grow every day. Life is the most beautiful journey of all.

Merry Christmas to you all.

Joy

Hark! The herald angels sing,
“Glory to the newborn King;
Peace on earth, and mercy mild,
God and sinners reconciled!”
Joyful, all ye nations rise,
Join the triumph of the skies;
With th’angelic host proclaim,
“Christ is born in Bethlehem!”
Hark! the herald angels sing,
“Glory to the newborn King!”

Christ, by highest Heav’n adored;
Christ the everlasting Lord;
Late in time, behold Him come,
Offspring of a virgin’s womb.
Veiled in flesh the Godhead see;
Hail the incarnate Deity,
Pleased with us in flesh to dwell,
Jesus our Emmanuel.

Hail the heav’nly Prince of Peace!
Hail the Sun of Righteousness!
Light and life to all He brings,
Ris’n with healing in His wings.
Mild He lays His glory by,
Born that man no more may die;
Born to raise the sons of earth,
Born to give them second birth.

Hark! The herald angels sing,

“Glory to the newborn King!”

Come, Desire of nations, come,
Fix in us Thy humble home;
Rise, the woman’s conqu’ring Seed,
Bruise in us the serpent’s head.
Now display Thy saving pow’r,
Ruined nature now restore;
Now in mystic union join
Thine to ours, and ours to Thine.

Hark! The herald angels sing,

“Glory to the newborn King!”

Adam’s likeness, Lord, efface,
Stamp Thine image in its place:
Second Adam from above,
Reinstate us in Thy love.
Let us Thee, though lost, regain,
Thee, the Life, the inner man:
Oh, to all Thyself impart,
Formed in each believing heart.

Hark! The herald angels sing,

“Glory to the newborn King!”.

Merry Christmas ! I will return on January 2, 2023!